Survive
by Xenobia
Summary: After one deadly, unexpected incident, Erwin Smith realizes his feelings for Levi run deeper than he knew. There are other struggles to contend with however; not the least of which is surviving against the titans and saving humanity from extinction. Yaoi, Drama, H/C, mild het references, graphic violence
1. Chapter 1

**_*Disclaimer: This fanfiction is for entertainment, non-profit purposes only. I do not claim ownership of any canon characters or the world that this is set in._**

 _Author's Note: Some chapters of this story will have contents not suitable for ffnet guidelines...in which case I will leave an author's note advising to read the uncensored version at Archive of our own. Unfortunately, ffnet doesn't allow us to give direct links, so the best I can do is to inform readers that I go under the same username at Ao3, should you wish to read the smutty bits.  
_

* * *

"Take down the legs!"

The fifteen meter abnormal was moving too fast for anyone to reach the weak spot out there in the open—or so Erwin thought. Captain Levi once again proved him wrong, though. No sooner did he issue the command did Levi manage to harpoon the creature in the shoulder and leap off his horse to let his gear carry him to the mark. Erwin was just about to holler congratulations on a job well done, when the unthinkable happened. Just as Levi slashed into the nape of the titan's neck, the other fifteen meter class broke away from the group that was fighting it and it snatched Levi right off the abnormal's back. Time seemed to slow down and Erwin was too shocked to react immediately as the titan put Levi in his mouth and swallowed him whole. The scout leader didn't even have time to react and try to cut himself free of it's hold.

 _~Dear God...not him.~_

Cold logic overcame the commander's shock and he acted on it immediately as the other members of the expedition yelled Levi's name in dismay. "It swallowed him whole! He's still alive, so bring that thing down immediately! Right flank, deal with the abnormal! Left flank, cover me the minute we bring this other one down!"

Desperate to save their captain, Levi's scouts jumped into action. Mikasa took out the creature's hamstrings and the moment it started to fall, Erwin deployed his mobility gear and he shouted with rage that surprised even him as he made the killing blow. He jumped off of the titan's shoulders as it began to collapse, keeping it skewered with his harpoons. He jumped on his horse and pulled backwards, gritting his teeth with determination. His plan worked, and the titan fell on its back instead of its stomach or side. As soon as it was grounded he jumped back off his horse and ran over to start cutting the titan open.

"Go with the others. Keep the other titans away from me and Captain Levi, Mikasa," he instructed the young woman. She nodded grimly and saluted him, and then she, Jean and Hange took off to bring down the smaller titans in the area. Erwin—technically crippled due to the loss of his right arm—was still quite capable of leading and his gear had been modified so that he could still make use of it with one hand. He never once fell into despair over the loss, but a limb was one thing; losing his best fighter would be devastating to their cause.

Ignoring the sounds of battle around him, Erwin sliced into the fallen titan's steaming body, aiming for where he believed the stomach would be. He couldn't wait for it to evaporate; Levi didn't have that much time. The stench hit him instantly as the flesh parted and "digestive" fluids spurted. He gagged but he sliced again, racing against time to open the organ up so that he could extract Levi.

"Connie," he called out when he saw the shaved-headed young man land after killing a nearby seven meter class, "Come and help me. I need extra hands to pull Captain Levi out of this thing."

"Yes sir!"

Connie began to sprint over to him, but before he could even get there to help, the stomach organ split open further from the _inside_ : cut by a titan-killing blade. Erwin's heart skipped a beat with hope as the new cut opened wider, and he dug his own blade in again to assist with it.

"He's alive," he grunted, and then he shouted it louder so that the troops could hear for the sake of morale. "Captain Levi is alive!"

Those close enough to catch that cheered, even as they fought. Word got passed around quickly and Erwin reached for the flailing hand that emerged from the opened stomach. Ignoring the burn of the juices coating it, he pulled the scout leader free with a grunt of effort. His grip slipped as soon as Levi came free and the smaller man fell to the ground, gasping. Connie reached his side before Erwin jumped down off the titan and the young man shook Levi desperately.

"Captain? Captain Levi, can you hear me?"

Sasha skidded to a halt beside him, having come in for a landing after dispersing one of the smaller titans. "Sir! You okay?"

"Give him some air," commanded Erwin as calmly as possible. "We need to get that fluid off of him before it causes real damage." He knelt before Levi and he saw that the scout leader had passed out. Thinking quickly, Erwin removed his cloak and he began to free Levi from his 3D gear. "Get these clothes off of him. They protected him from the stomach fluids but they're disintegrating and they'll start burning his skin."

Sasha blinked at the commander as if he'd just made an obscure joke. "Um...his clothes...sir?"

"That's exactly what I said," confirmed Erwin, not pausing in his task. "Either assist me with this or return to the battle, soldier. Now isn't the time to be modest!"

"Er...yes sir." She was blushing as she saluted him and she took off to rejoin her comrades, evidently not prepared to see her superior unclothed.

Connie quickly removed Levi's boots and pants while Erwin stripped him of his cloak and jacket. The commander used water from his own canteen to try and wash some of the goop off Levi's face and other areas that had been directly exposed to it. He also rinsed his hair out too, though it didn't look as though much of it had gotten in there. Once Levi was completely stripped, Erwin wrapped him up in his cloak with Connie's help.

"Now, let's get him on my horse," instructed Erwin. He whistled to the animal and he patted him before mounting up when he came to him. "Now hand him up to me, Connie."

"Are you sure you can hold him and still direct your horse, sir?" Connie looked timidly doubtful.

Erwin smirked. "Captain Levi weighs next to nothing, and I've managed so far, haven't I? Now do as you've been told."

Connie didn't offer any further argument. He lifted the captain carefully and then handed him up to Erwin. The commander adjusted hold on Levi, positioning him in front of him on the saddle. "Levi, can you hear me?" he urged, gently nudging him.

There was a soft groan as the smaller man responded and blinked his eyes open. "I'm...alive?"

Erwin smiled. "Yes, thank God. You're very fortunate that titan swallowed you whole instead of biting you in half. We'll discuss it later. Right now we need to get you back to the base for more extensive medical attention. Hange will examine you and—"

"Hell no," countered Levi with a cough. "Four-eyes isn't laying a hand on me."

"Yes she is," Erwin said firmly. "She's the most qualified medic we have and I'm not going to allow your stubbornness to put you at further risk, is that understood?"

Levi sighed. "Yes sir...damn you."

Erwin was too relieved to have him back alive to chastise him for his disrespectful language, and he was really quite used to it by now. He looked around to assess the situation and he saw flairs go up from the western flank. There were more titans incoming, though center flank had taken down most of the creatures that had approached them.

"Can you hold on, Levi?"

The smaller man nodded. "I can ride. Where is my horse?"

Levi swayed on the saddle a bit, contradicting his own statement.

"You aren't riding alone," informed Erwin. "Just make sure you don't fall off."

He reached for his flare gun and selected the canister for the signal to fall back. He fired it up into the air and he looked at Connie. "Get your horse and prepare to get back into formation. Spread word to the others. This expedition is ending."

"Yes sir."

Erwin checked a sigh as the teams broke away from combat to mount up and ride. They'd sustained three losses this time and several injuries, but this expedition wasn't as terrible a failure as some past ones. Levi's head fell back against his shoulder and Erwin realized he'd lost consciousness again.

"Levi! Wake up."

"Muhh?" The dark head lifted off Erwin's shoulder. "Stinks..."

"There's nothing to be done for it right now," Erwin said with a smirk, realizing the lingering odor of the stomach juices were making the obsessively clean Captain dizzy. "Just try to keep awake and...you there! Armin! Get rope from the supply cart and come tie Captain Levi to me."

"Why the hell don't you just...put me in the cart?" Wondered Levi aloud.

"Because it's too slow and I'm not going to risk you getting smashed with it if we get chased, that's why."

"You're so fucking weird sometimes," muttered Levi.

Erwin accepted the observation. Injured scouts always generally rode back in cart. He knew he seemed paranoid for insisting Levi ride with him instead...but that had been far too close for comfort. The devastation he'd felt when he saw Levi get swallowed still shook him, and he pondered his own feelings as Armin brought the rope over and began to secure the two of them together.

"Are you sure you wouldn't just rather him ride with the other injured troops, sir?" Questioned the book-loving young man. "It might be more comfortable for him."

"He's made up his mind, kid," Levi informed him. "Don't bother."

Armin said nothing more and he made sure the ropes were secure and tight before saluting the two of them and joining Eren and Mikasa in the formation. Erwin waited until everyone was back in formation before giving the order to move out.

As they began the run back to the wall, Levi asked a question of Erwin. "We all expect to die on one of these missions. Why did you go to such great lengths to save me?"

Erwin's mouth tightened. Yes, he sent men to their deaths each and every day, and when a soldier got eaten he or she was usually given up for dead. He had only one answer for Levi that made sense.

"Because I'm not ready for you to die."

Levi considered his answer for a moment, and then he shrugged. "Neither am I, honestly."

* * *

They did get chased on the way back to the wall, of course. Two more soldiers went down in the attack but the rest of them made it through and back to the fort. The minute he got inside, Levi went straight for the bathroom to shower and he ignored Erwin's suggestion that he let Hange look at him first. He _had_ to get rid of the stench. He could smell that fucking titan goop all over him even though they'd done their best to clean it off before venturing back. His legs trembled beneath him as he shed the commander's cloak and stepped into the shower.

"So nasty," complained Levi, feeling like he might vomit. That moment had shown him the true face of mortality. He really thought it was all over with and if he'd had a gun on his person, he might have shot himself in the head to spare the agony of being slowly digested to be later puked up like a hairball. He closed his eyes as he stepped into the warm spray and he braced his hands on the tiles. He'd endured many debasing things in his life. He'd been violated before. Somehow this experience seemed worse than any of that.

Levi snorted, grimly amused at his own trauma. He'd never really thought of what it must be like to end up in a titan's belly. He'd always simply focused on what needed to be done, knowing that one day or another he'd end up just like so many of his comrades before. The reality of it was much more horrifying than he could have imagined and he grimaced, trying to put it out of his mind.

He soaped up and scrubbed every inch of his body thoroughly, until the skin was pink. He rinsed off and he did it again, not satisfied that he was clean enough. When he finally thought he'd gotten every last bit of residue off his body, he began to focus on washing his hair. He again lathered up and scrubbed after doing that, feeling the compulsive need to do it one last time before rinsing off again and cutting off the water.

Wrapping himself up in his bathrobe, he gingerly picked up Erwin's cloak to deposit it in one of the dirty clothes hampers. He decided to have a nap and when he entered his private chambers and found Hange smiling at him beside Erwin, he glared not at her but at the commander.

"What's this?"

Erwin was leaning against the wall, holding the badges of the recent deceased in his hand. "I came to bring you these, and to ensure you behave for Hange. You didn't think you could avoid it, did you?" He set the badges on Levi's desk.

"Hi, Captain!" said the brunette science enthusiast cheerfully. "How are you feeling? Why don't you just sit your little self down on the bed so I can have a look at you, hmm? It must have been very interesting, being swallowed whole like that!"

Levi's glare turned to her. "It was the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced in my life and I—erp!"

He slapped a hand over his mouth as the memory of it made his gorge rise. In a half-panic, he lurched for the nearest window and threw it open. No fucking way was he going to puke on his own floor if he could help it. Whoever might be below would just have to watch out, because he couldn't hold it.

"Oh, you poor dear," Hange said as Levi barfed up what little he had in his stomach. He hardly noticed his commander come up behind him and he flinched impulsively when the man laid a concerned hand on his shoulder.

"I'm...fine," choked Levi, humiliated. At least none of his subordinates besides Hange were there to witness him in such a pathetic state.

"You went as white as a sheet," Erwin murmured. "Do you feel you might pass out?"

Levi shook his head and he took the washcloth Hange offered him after he finished and straightened back up. "Said I'm fine," he muttered after wiping his mouth off. "Now I have to brush my teeth."

"That can wait until after Hange's examined you," said Erwin sternly. "Don't make that face at me, soldier. Your health is more important than brushing your teeth, right now."

"Says you," grumbled Levi. He dropped his gaze when Erwin's unwavering blue eyes stared into his. "Fine, let's just get this over with."

* * *

Levi endured Hange's poking and prodding and when she was finished, she and Erwin gave him some privacy and went out the door. "Everything looks fine," she assured the commander, "but what a rotten temper! I thought he was going to bite my head off when I tried to tickle him!"

Erwin smirked. "That's Levi for you. So you think he'll be back to full strength in a day or two?"

"Mm, I do," she agreed with a nod. "I think it's his _mental_ health we should be concerned with, sir. That was a traumatic experience even for a person like the Captain. He trusts you most, so maybe you should have a talk with him...get him to open up and vent."

Erwin scratched his chin. "I could try, but Levi is a proud man. He may not even open up to me about this one."

Hange shrugged. "It's worth a shot. Well anyway, I'd best get downstairs and start helping in the mess hall. Dinner won't cook itself!"

"Thank you, Hange. I'll see you at dinner."

Erwin watched her go, and he started to go to his own quarters so that he could write today's report in his log. He paused and he looked at Levi's chamber door, still cracked. Was it too soon to try and get Levi to talk about it? Should he just give him some space for a bit first and let him cope?

Erwin sighed. Some things you just couldn't leave be. He quietly pushed the door open and he walked in, rehearsing in his mind how he was going to begin the conversation. He stopped in his tracks when he saw that Levi had opened his armoire and was staring into it. Curious, Erwin approached. He'd never seen what Levi kept in there, respecting his privacy too much to have a peek when he was away. Now he knew where the captain stored all of the badges of his fallen soldiers. Levi had made a sort of shrine with them, and as Erwin watched, the scout leader placed the newest ones beside the others in neat rows. He heard Levi sigh and he watched him bow his head.

"You all died bravely," whispered Levi, and then he spoke the names of each newly deceased as if paying them homage. "Join the others that fell before you. You've earned your peace."

He seemed to be so absorbed in his ritual that he didn't notice Erwin's presence yet. Knowing how dangerous it was to sneak up on a man like Levi, Erwin waited for him to go silent again and then he spoke his name softly.

"Levi?"

The brunet tensed, but he didn't turn. "Do you ever do this, sir? Keep badges or parts of their uniforms as reminders of them?"

Erwin frowned, empathizing with him. He came up behind him and he stared at the back of his bowed head. It was such a burden, sending men and women to their deaths all the time. He knew Levi's sorrow, knew how he hid it from others for the sake of appearance. Before he could even think on what he was doing, he embraced the smaller man with his one remaining arm from behind.

"Yes, I do," Erwin replied softly, speaking into Levi's ear. The smaller man had stiffened with surprise and Erwin half-expected him to pull out of his embrace and demand to know just what in the hell he thought he was doing. He didn't though, and that came as a surprise and a curious relief to Erwin. He was so slight, his frame seemed so delicate—and yet this small, lithe body could move with deadly grace and strength on the battlefield. Erwin had never touched Levi this way before, and he found the contact comforting and inappropriately intriguing.

"To die like that," whispered Levi, "slowly melting away in the stomach of a titan...I didn't get it before but now..."

Levi turned around and looked up at the taller man, eyes bright with some strong emotion. "I can't even say they're at peace, can I? I wasn't the only one that got swallowed whole out there today. Vickerman did too. He could still be alive, trapped in there in that...disgusting filth...in agony. Why didn't you save him like you did me? Why didn't you cut him out?"

Erwin was briefly taken aback by the accusation. "Levi, you know as well as I do that we can't save everyone."

Levi grabbed Erwin's jacket in both hands and he scowled at him. "Why _me_ , then? You always just give them up...so why me and not him?"

"Levi, I...I told you why before," stammered Erwin.

"Yeah, you 'aren't ready for me to die'. That's a fucking cop-out, though. If you knew what it was like in there..." His eyes went to the stump of Erwin's right arm and he faltered a bit.

"I know what it's like to be caught in a titan's mouth," Erwin said softly, guessing where his thoughts were leading. "Maybe not the way _you_ were, but I know that fear. I know what it's like to think your number's up. Your life flashes before your eyes and you don't want to die, but you accept it because as soldiers, that's what we do."

Acting on impulse again, Erwin touched the smaller man's pale face. Hoping he wouldn't draw away, he traced the sculpted contours of his features. Levi's skin was soft...surprisingly soft. Of course with how thoroughly he tended to bath himself, perhaps that shouldn't come as a shock to him.

"You're more important than a common soldier," Erwin dared to inform him.

As he expected, the anger blazed behind Levi's eyes again. The brunet stood his ground and he didn't back away or shove Erwin's hand off of him, though. "None of my scouts are 'common' soldiers, you asshole."

"Compared to you they are," countered Erwin roughly. He was surprised by the emotion in his own voice but he couldn't seem to stop it. He pushed his fingers through Levi's still-damp hair and he held his eyes. "We can't afford to lose you. Not yet. _I_ can't afford to lose you."

It was then that he realized it, and Levi seemed to pick up on it too, given the way his eyes widened slightly with surprise. He'd been such a fool. He hadn't been so determined to save Levi just because he was the best they had. Mikasa was improving each day and she was nearly the captain's equal. She could fill the hole eventually, if they ever did lose Levi. No, it wasn't just the loss of a top fighter he'd dreaded. It was never seeing Levi again, never hearing his sardonic, foul-mouthed comments...never looking into those lazy, intriguing eyes again.

"Levi," he murmured, heart pounding with this realization. He'd been denying it for the same reason he'd never gotten married. This life he lead had no room for romance in it...or family. As his gaze went to the smaller man's parted lips, Erwin realized how many times he'd stared at them in the past and he started to laugh at himself.

Levi's expression went from confused to irritated within seconds. His brows furrowed as he stared at the commander and he spoke his mind tactlessly, as always. "Have you lost it or what? What just happened, here? What were you about to say, you creep?"

"That I'm an idiot," answered Erwin, still chuckling.

Levi seemed even more annoyed. "Tell me something I _don't_ know. What's with you? I never understand what's going on in your head."

"I'm sorry, Levi." Erwin let his hand drop, deciding that he needed some time to absorb this new information...and if Levi looked at him the way he had earlier again, he knew he wouldn't be able to resist acting on what could only be described as sexual attraction. "I think I'm overly tired. I was trying to comfort you and...well, my mind drifted."

"Your mind seems to do that a lot." Levi frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm beginning to wonder if you even have one, anymore."

"I'll let that one pass because I did behave inappropriately," granted Erwin.

 _~I could have behaved a_ lot _more inappropriately just now, if I hadn't caught myself.~_

Keeping those thoughts to himself, Erwin checked the clock on Levi's mantle. "Well, dinner should be ready soon. I'm going to go and document the expedition. I'll see you in the mess hall in a while, Levi. Try to rest and recover."

He left without another word, not trusting himself to stay in the other man's presence any longer without doing something even more foolish.

* * *

When Erwin was gone, Levi let the breath he was holding out. "What the hell _was_ that?" he muttered to himself. For a moment, he could have sworn it looked like the commander was going to...kiss him?

But that was a ridiculous notion. As close as they were, Erwin had never given him reason to believe he entertained thoughts of him in that way. That was one reason Levi was able to trust him so completely. Other men in the past had looked at him the way the commander had moments ago...but it hadn't resulted in the unexpected, dry-mouthed feeling of anticipation Levi had experienced with Erwin. No, usually when men looked at him like that it came with...

Levi shook his head and rubbed his temples. Those memories needed to stay buried where they belonged. He needed to pull it together and put all thoughts of anything ever happening between him and Erwin aside. It was impossible and even if it weren't, he didn't know if he could act on it without reliving less pleasant encounters. Erwin knew him better than anyone...and he knew about the things Levi had lived through before joining the scouts legion.

"You aren't some ditzy, love-stricken teenager," grumbled the captain to himself as he opened one of the drawers of his armoire to select a change of clothing. "Pull it together."

But that brief, confusing moment had succeeded in taking his mind off getting swallowed by the titan—however briefly.

* * *

"Peas, check. Chicken? Roasting..."

"Uh, Miss Hange, why do you always do that?"

The scientist looked at Eren. "Hmm? Do what, sweetie-pie?"

"The checklist thing," he explained, green eyes puzzled. "You do it every time we make a meal."

"Ah, that's because documentation is an important part of any scientist's life!"

He scratched his head. "But it's cooking...not science. I mean I get that we need to keep inventory so we know how much food we've got left, but when it's cooking?"

She smiled and pinched his cheeks. "You're so cute. Cooking _is_ a science, Eren! If we're to keep you all fit and strong, we have to make sure you eat well. The best way to make sure we have the best possible meals is to keep track of every one we cook, and after any expedition it's important for soldiers to have good food to replenish with. No bread and watery soup for us tonight!"

"I...I suppose. So what should I do next, Ma'am?"

Hange considered the question and she tapped her lips. "Hmm, why don't you get some potatoes from the larder for me?" She leaned in close to whisper the rest. "And don't let Sasha see you with them. In fact, make sure someone keeps that girl busy until dinner so that everyone gets a helping!"

Eren smirked. "We can do that. I'll be right back with the potatoes!"

"Ah, good. Now then, where was I?" Hange looked around with brief puzzlement, and then she snapped her fingers. "Oh! Cabbage!"

She checked on the pots boiling on the stoves to see how the cabbage was coming along, and she heard a thump and a familiar voice swearing. She turned to see that poor Eren had the misfortune of running straight into Captain Levi on his way out of the kitchen, and the boy was cringing as his glaring superior barked at him.

"Watch where the hell you're going, rookie!"

Sensing a storm brewing, Hange quickly intervened before Levi could assign Erin to run laps or some other nonsense for such a minor thing. Just as Levi was about to open his mouth to blast another string of verbal abuse at Jaeger, she stuffed a bread roll into it.

"You should have a snack, Captain! Your body needs a little more than ours, after what you've been through!"

"Grk..." Levi pulled the roll out of his mouth and he glared at her. He was dressed in his cleaning apron and headscarf. "Woman, don't stuff things into my mouth! I had enough of that when you were examining me!"

"Oh, but I think you could stand to have something stuffed into your mouth," she said cheerfully, winking.

He flushed, eyes widening. "Exactly what does _that_ mean, Hange?"

Wondering over his uncommon blush, her inquisitive mind filed that reaction away for later examination. "Relax, Captain! I just mean that you should eat more. Your metabolism is so high, you'll waste away if you don't feed your body the energy it needs. Doing some cleaning, are you?"

"Er...I'll just go and get those potatoes now," Eren said, tactfully withdrawing.

"Yes, you do that," agreed Hange. She looked at Levi as the boy apologized to him and slipped by. She smiled at the fuming captain, thinking it was a shame for such a cute face to scowl so often. "There's fresh tea over there in the pot if you like, sir. Why don't you have a cup to go with your roll? Dinner ought to be ready within the hour. Might as well have that snack I suggested while you're cleaning, you know?"

Levi's anger seemed to lessen and she could have sworn he looked uncomfortable. "Yes...cleaning. I'll have some of that tea, thank you."

Hange blinked at him as he strode past to help himself to the brew.

 _~Did the captain just..._ thank _me? That's very unusual.~_

She watched as Levi selected a cup from the cupboard and poured himself some tea. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed a very faint tremble in his hands. How very strange. Was it really that horrible to be in the stomach of a titan? She herself could only surmise based on what Eren had told her of his recollections of the same happening to him, and Levi was not the kind of man to have his composure easily shaken. How interesting.

"Don't burn any of it," advised the Captain as he took his leave from the kitchen.

Hange adjusted her glasses as she watched him go. "Of course not, sir."

* * *

Erwin wasn't the only one staring at Levi when they sat down to dinner in the mess hall. Everyone in the regiment kept glancing at him in open puzzlement. Not only was he still wearing his cleaning outfit; he'd also donned a handkerchief to cover his mouth and nose. He lifted it when he took a sip of tea and then he let it drop again as he started cutting into his meat. He noticed all of the stares and even with half his face covered, the exasperation was clear in his expression.

"What? What are you all staring at?"

"N-nothing sir," Armin quickly answered, and then he made it a point to focus his pale blue eyes on his dinner plate. He nudged Jean, who was sitting next to him still openly staring. The taller man grunted and took the hint and he also busied himself with his supper.

Erwin frowned in thought as Levi resumed cutting his chicken. He was practically mincing it; slicing it into tiny pieces. It seemed like overkill and while he knew Levi could be obsessive compulsive, this went beyond the norm. He sipped his wine and he watched covertly as the captain continued dicing up the meat with the care and precision of a surgeon.

 _~Levi...what is going on with you?~_

Then he saw what Hange had seen earlier. As Levi lifted the bandanna covering his mouth and nose and brought his fork to his lips for the first bite, his hand shook.

At first Erwin couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. Levi...the steady foundation of the scout regiment and his personal rock...was shaking. Levi seemed to get it under control fast before anyone else could notice it, but a glance at Hange revealed to him that she'd spotted it as well. Her eyes met his over the distance and she made as if to adjust her glasses, subtly pointing Levi's way.

 _"You see?"_ her eyes said to him silently, _"He needs you."_

Erwin took another swallow of his drink, his gaze flicking between her and Levi. Just what had she seen? It was difficult to hide anything from that woman and he wondered if his attempts not to openly stare at Levi had been in vain when it came to Hange. His eyes narrowed when the commander paused with his bite of food hovering near his lips. Levi wasn't eating it. He was staring at it in an odd way. Erwin set his wine glass down in confusion.

 _~What in the hell?~_

"I'm not hungry," announced Levi abruptly, and he got up and left the table without another word.

Sasha eyeballed his untouched dinner plate with a bit too much interest for Erwin's taste. The commander got up, murmured to the soldier next to him to cover his plate for later, and he went to Levi's abandoned seat to collect his dinner before Sasha's insatiable appetite could get the better of her.

"Pardon me," he said politely to his comrades. "I'll take care of this."

Leaving them to wonder exactly what he meant by that, he carried the plate out of the mess hall and he went up the stairs with it.

* * *

"I'm busy," Levi said when he heard the knock at his door.

"It's Erwin," called the commander's voice from the other side. "Please let me in, Levi. I can't exactly knock and hold this plate at the same time."

Levi frowned and sighed. "What in the hell..."

He got up from his reclined position on the bed and he went to answer the door grudgingly. Erwin didn't usually call attention to his handicap and the stubborn bastard just couldn't leave him alone, could he? He opened up the door just in time to see Erwin pick up the plate of food he'd had to set down.

"What do you want? I said I'm not hungry."

Erwin's gaze met his levelly. "Yes you are."

"Fuck you, I'm not," argued Levi, face heating with anger. "Are you intending to force-feed me now?"

"If I must." Erwin walked in and Levi threw up his hands in exasperation as he brought the plate to the bedside and set it down on the nightstand. The commander turned to regard him and he pointed at the plate. "You can't starve yourself, Levi. Eat."

Levi looked—if anything—more annoyed. "I'm not starving myself. I'm just not hungry."

Erwin sat down on the edge of the bed. "Talk to me."

Levi's brows furrowed. "About what?"

Erwin smiled patiently at him in that way that made Levi want to punch him or do things best left unsaid. God, the man drove him insane. "About anything. Come on, Levi...eat your dinner. I'll keep you company."

"You mean you'll guard me like the dictator asshole you are," observed Levi succinctly. "Lock the door then, would you? I'd rather not have 'four-eyes' or someone else burst in."

Erwin chuckled and he went to shut the door completely, flipping the latch to lock it. "Better?"

Levi sighed, well aware that he was still wearing the handkerchief over his mouth and nose as he picked up the plate. Only Erwin could make him eat when he didn't want to eat. "Marginally. Why are you being such a nanny tonight?"

Erwin sat down beside him as Levi began to fork up some food. "I think you know. You're smarter than that. Don't make me tell you."

Levi flinched involuntarily when Erwin reached out to lift the handkerchief covering his mouth. "You and I both know you aren't dressed like this just to clean, Levi."

The commander let the cloth drop and he reached behind Levi's head to untie it one-handed. He'd adjusted to doing things with just one hand and Levi could only stare at him as he removed it. "So why don't you tell me what's _really_ going on?"

Levi's gaze slipped down to the plate of food in his lap. He stared at the meat and vegetables as if they were poison. "I...can't eat."

Erwin looked puzzled. "Why not?"

Levi swallowed and he reached for his tea. "It's fucking stupid. Doesn't matter."

"I doubt it's stupid," countered Erwin. "Unlike myself, nothing you do is usually stupid."

Levi grunted at the commander's smirk. "I wouldn't say that. Look, I just can't eat right now. Take it back to the kitchen and I'll try later tonight."

"Your stomach just growled," observed Erwin softly. "Don't try to bullshit me, Levi. Something's going on and you need nourishment. Why can't you eat?"

"Tch...you aren't going to let it go, are you?" Levi looked at the food and he scooped some chicken up on his fork. He started bringing it to his lips and he wavered, his hand trembling unbidden as the memory of being picked up and dropped down the gullet of a titan came forefront to his mind. "Fuck! I can't!"

He hated how raw and vulnerable his voice sounded. It didn't feel right and he could tell by the surprised look on Erwin's face that he was just as stunned by the tone.

"All right, calm down," said Erwin in that soothing, authoritative voice that had so often guided Levi in the past. "Sit back and relax. I'll help you."

"What does that mean?" Levi asked suspiciously, even as he instinctively obeyed and leaned back against the pillows. His eyes widened with dread as the other man scooted closer, set the plate on his lap and began to fork up some food. "Oh no...you are _not_ feeding me, Erwin."

"Why not?" Erwin smiled encouragingly at him. "I'll tell you what, Levi; just close your eyes and open your mouth. You don't need to look at it. Just listen to my voice and eat."

"You're insane," grumbled Levi. "This isn't going to work."

"It will. Now close your eyes and open your mouth. Yes, that's it. Good."

Levi started to flush with embarrassment. He did, however, find it easy to listen to Erwin's deep, soothing voice and follow his commands. He'd "given himself" to him after all—not as a lover but as a soldier. He trusted him like no other. The first bite of food was gently deposited into his mouth and he listened to his commander as he chewed and swallowed it.

"We aren't like them, Levi," Erwin was saying, "least of all you. We harvest our food or we kill it humanely. What happened to you is nothing like what happens when you eat. Here, have some drink."

Levi allowed the other man to bring his teacup to his lips, and he sipped it with a sigh of appreciation.

"Potatoes next, right?" Erwin said.

Levi smirked. The creep knew him so well he even had his eating habits committed to memory. "Please."

"That's a strange word to hear from you," commented Erwin. Levi opened his mouth when he felt the fork brush against it and he took the bite of baked potato. "You aren't going soft on me are you?"

Levi opened one eye to glare at him. "As if."

Erwin chuckled. "Just checking. So what provokes you to say 'please'?"

Levi thought of those horrible moment's in the titan's belly and he swallowed.

 _~Please...not like this. I won't die like this. It's worse than I ever imagined.~_

He'd started trying to cut his way out, desperate to at least die before being devoured. The last thing he recalled before blacking out was having Erwin pull him out and seeing the commander's concerned blue eyes—just like the sky above them. He'd always liked the color of the man's eyes.

"I...I d-didn't..." He started to tremble.

"It's okay," Erwin quickly reassured him. "You don't have to answer that if it's too much for you, Levi. Just focus on eating, okay? I'm sorry."

Levi took a deep breath. It wasn't like Erwin to apologize for anything to him, but lately it seemed they'd both delved into unfamiliar behavior. The next bite was the chicken he'd practically minced up.

"You must think I'm a joke right now," he mumbled after eating it. "I'd better not see pity on your face when I open my eyes again."

"I think you're a force of nature," came the answer.

Levi's eyes popped open. "What? Bullshit."

Erwin chuckled. "Its true, and up until this moment, I think a part of me honestly forgot that you're just as human as I am, when it comes down to it."

The commander sighed, his expression warring between frustration and introspective melancholy. "I've never seen your equal in battle, Levi. Not _one_ of my recruits has ever showed as much promise—though I daresay Mikasa runs a close second. When I see you out there doing your part, I do sometimes consider you inhuman. Not now, though."

Levi stared at him. "Then what is it you're trying to say?" He forgot the hunger twisting his gut and his heart thudded annoyingly. So close...the man was so close to him and he didn't know how to deal with that. Part of him wanted to recoil. A bigger part wanted to offer himself to Erwin completely—and not just as a soldier.

"We all suffer," Erwin said softly. "Most of us need someone or something to cling to. Up until I nearly lost you, I thought you were above all of that. You've got a high threshold for pain and things hardly seem to effect you. Today I realized differently, though. Today you showed me a more human side of you that I'd all but forgotten."

"Don't remind me," grumbled Levi.

Erwin smiled. "But I think it's good for you to be reminded." He put down the fork and he took one of Levi's hands in his own. "What I'm telling you is this: let me be your rock, as you've been mine. Let me be the one you lean against when it gets bad, Levi. Nobody else need know, but you've got to have someone to turn to who you can trust. Let me help you. We can't lose you to carelessness."

Levi stared at him, hardly believing the dramatic spew of drivel coming from the commander's mouth. "You're already my rock, you idiot," he answered breathlessly. "From the day you took me out of that hellhole and gave me purpose, you've been...ah, dammit...I thought you already knew. Now you're going to make me say it out loud?"

Erwin stared back at him with open surprise, and Levi squeezed his hand and steeled himself to say what he knew he really needed to say. The day's events had shown him that either of them or both of them could die at any time. Erwin had to know, even if nothing came of it.

"Why do you think I follow your orders and nobody else's?" Questioned Levi softly. "Why do you think you are the only damned person in this world that can make me eat when all I see is the mouth of that fucking titan opening up to swallow me whole when I try to take a bite. Erwin...y-you're...I..."

He stumbled over the words, having no idea how to express himself or what he was feeling. His eyes widened when the other man closed the distance between them and uttered a single, low response.

"God, Levi...I thought you were gone."

Then Erwin's lips touched his and Levi was stunned to the core. He couldn't move or breath, and then Erwin's tongue probed between his lips and he impulsively parted them to let it in. After that he didn't care about food or titans or disgusting stomach juices. The feel of the commander's mouth against his and the tactile sensation of his tongue caressing his was all that mattered for Levi and surprisingly, the kiss did not trigger bad memories.

 _~Oh God, is this really happening? He's a good kisser. Stop it, Levi...don't moan like a bitch...~_

Yet the moan happened anyway and he flushed. He vaguely noticed that Erwin set the food plate to the side and moved in closer, and then the commander's arm was around him, pulling him into his embrace. Levi's hands settled on his shoulders and he considered trying to push him away, but instead he ended up gripping those broad shoulders and urging him even closer.

"Levi," murmured Erwin, briefly breaking the kiss to utter his name. Then his mouth closed in on Levi's again and there was only the kiss. Erwin released Levi's hand and he caressed his face as his lips and tongue did things that made the captain swell under his apron.

 _~Shit, I'm getting too turned on. What the hell is this? Why did he wait and why aren't I stopping him?~_

Levi had no answers for those questions. He just knew it felt so good...and so right. He moaned again as Erwin's tongue thrust against his and he dug his fingers into the commander's jacket, silently urging him not to pull away.

After a while, Erwin did pull away. Like Levi, he was breathing heavily and he stared at him with a sort of awe in his handsome features. "Forgive me," he said huskily. "I honestly didn't mean to let that happen. I intended to examine my feelings further...to wait. I know what you've been through. I know what happened to you before...we met. I don't want you to feel like—"

Levi made a quick decision and he cut him off. He grabbed his bolo tie and he yanked it to draw him in again. "Shut up, Erwin," he whispered before kissing him again. The bigger man fell into the kiss immediately.

Several minutes later they came up for air again, pressing their foreheads together and staring into one another's eyes. Levi was the one to speak first.

"I may be damaged," he murmured, "and I may be sullied, but I'm not broken yet. That's thanks to _you_...idiot."

Erwin laughed softly, but there was a pained quality to it. "I'll never see you as 'sullied', Levi. No matter what, I want you to believe that."

Levi lowered his gaze. "I would like to believe that, sir."

Erwin traced the smaller man's lips with the pad of his thumb. "It's true. Even if it takes time, I'll prove that to you."

He gave Levi a soft, brief kiss and he took a deep breath. "For now, I want you to finish your dinner. There's no rush. God knows I've fooled myself into thinking I didn't feel this for you for long enough."

Levi felt some annoyance. So now Erwin was going to get him worked up and then just...baby him some more? "I can handle it. You made me horny so why don't we just take care of _that_. Want me to forget about getting swallowed? Then do me."

Erwin stared at him for a moment, and then without warning, he shoved Levi down on his back and he pinned him to the bed. Without his other arm he could only grab one of Levi's wrists, but he didn't budge when the suddenly shaken captain shoved at him with his other hand.

It caused a familiar sort of panic within Levi and it shook him...made him forget all of his special combat skills in the face of desperate fear. Panting and swearing, he tried to buck Erwin off.

"Is this what you want?" Erwin prompted. There was a pained look of tenderness in his eyes as he gazed down at the struggling, shocked brunet. "—Because it's not what _I_ want, Levi. This is new. I'm not going to just 'do you'. We both need time and you've endured enough."

"A-all right, damn you," gasped Levi, mouth going dry with a flood of unsavory memories. He glared up at the commander, but his ire soon faded at the expression on Erwin's face. He wasn't going to force anything. Levi could see that in his eyes. He was only making a point and damn it, he'd made a good one. As much as Levi's crotch was saying "yes", his residual memories disagreed with that.

Erwin released him and he sat up with a faintly regretful expression on his face. "I want you," he admitted softly, "but not as a hasty, one-time encounter...do you understand? You've become very important to me Levi...and not just as my best soldier."

Levi sat back up as well. "Stop looking like a kicked dog. I know why you did that just now and...I understand."

Erwin turned slightly to look at him, and a rueful smirk adorned his lips. "Do you? I didn't just destroy whatever chance I might have had?"

Levi snorted. "If you'd kept going maybe...but you stopped. I'm not used to that."

Erwin heaved a sigh. "I would have rather not made my point that way." He reached for the plate of food and he set it down between them. "Now, let's finish your dinner. Close your eyes."

Levi sighed as well and he obeyed. He was annoyingly hard despite the unexpected scare Erwin had given him and he found himself fantasizing over what it would have been like if the commander hadn't stopped. Would he have fought him off, or would he have eventually just fallen into it and enjoyed it? He really wasn't sure. Erwin fed him his dinner bite by bite, until there was no more left. When he was finished he replaced the fork on the plate and he picked it up. Standing up, he spoke in a low voice to the smaller man.

"I meant what I said, Levi. I want you...but I also want to be your rock. Please allow me to."

The tall blond commander bent over to give Levi one last, lingering kiss before straightening up with the plate. "Get plenty of rest, Captain. Your squad needs you in top form, and so do I."

For once, Levi was unable to come up with a response. He watched Erwin go and he wondered how he was going to deal with this new development on top of everything else.

* * *

-To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Levi started the next day off with a shower—a typical ritual for him. He did spend a longer time in it than usual, however. He thought nothing of putting on his cleaning garb before leaving his chambers to start the daily rounds. He got a few strange looks when nobody saw him with a broom, mop, washrag or bucket, but he ignored it. Outside in the courtyard several members of his team were sparring together, and he nodded in approval as he paused to watch them. Armin in particular seemed to be improving and that was a good thing, considering he was the weakest member of the bunch. Levi truly believed, however, that what held the bookworm back from his true potential was his timid nature. As the horrors he'd witnessed slowly robbed Armin of his innocence, they also fortified him and forced him to become stronger—more ruthless.

 _~Isn't that the way it always goes?~_

Well, speaking for himself, his innocence had been very short-lived, but none of these kids had grown up under the circumstances Levi had. He couldn't actually recall just when his innocence faded. It had happened at a much younger age for him—and not because of titan encounters. He sighed to himself. Erwin. It was his fault that he'd started thinking of that time in his life again. Why did the man have to kiss him like that and then just leave?

Levi pushed those thoughts aside and he walked into the courtyard to offer some advice to the newer members of his team—starting with Armin. None of them questioned the training routine of physical combat anymore...not with the threat of civil unrest growing stronger each day, and after dealing with the anti human suppression squad that just cinched it.

"That's good, Armin, but you can do better."

The blond paused in the act of blocking his opponent's kick and he looked at Levi with wide blue eyes. "Thanks, sir! I—"

"Don't look at me, idiot," snapped Levi. He sighed when Jean swept the boy's legs out from under him and he rubbed his forehead as Armin landed on his back with a huff of breath.

"Sorry Armin," Jean said, reaching a hand down to help him back up. "I thought you were watching. Wasn't trying to make a cheap shot."

"Don't apologize for his screw-up," advised the captain. "Armin, you've got to learn to multitask better. You need to be able to listen to orders and your teammates without getting distracted from what you're doing, clear?"

Armin nodded, his expression hardening with determination. "Yes sir!"

 _~Good. He's found his spine. A month ago he would have just slumped like a kicked dog.~_

"Keep at it, and Armin; you favor your right side too much. Use the left limbs a bit more. Learn to trust every part of your body and don't be afraid to make a left-hook. Practice more with weapons in your 'weak' hand until you can wield them with comparable skill."

"Yes sir. Thank you."

Levi moved on to the next pair of sparring partners and he smirked. Mikasa was doing just fine, but she was clearly going easy on Eren. That was to be expected. Deny it though she might, the girl was in love with Jaeger and that tended to get in the way of her focus at times.

"Loosen up more, Eren," he advised when the boy narrowly avoided a chop to the throat. "You can't be too stiff on the battlefield, whether you're fighting titans or human beings."

"I'll try, sir." Eren grunted and rolled away from a kick Mikasa aimed at him. At least he hadn't gotten distracted by Levi's instructions like his friend had.

"Don't just 'try'," Levi said as he passed by them. "Do it."

The others seemed to be getting along well enough. They were paired up with older soldiers who advised them as they went along, so Levi trusted them to take care of the instructions. He went back inside, wondering where the commander might be. Planning out the next excursion? Writing more reports? Taking a shit? There was no telling. Levi considered having some breakfast, but he immediately decided against it when the memory of yesterday's near-death experience flashed in his head. Later. Maybe some exercise would be a better start to the day. He'd have to take off his cleaning garb but he could put it back on afterwards.

He made his way to the rec room where all of the exercise equipment and sparring dummies were set up, and he found it occupied—by none other than the man that was in his thoughts. Levi stopped and stared at the spectacle of shirtless Erwin doing one-armed pull-ups on one of the bars hanging from the ceiling. The muscles in the commander's back rippled with his efforts as he steadily hoisted his body up, then lowered it. Soft grunts escaped him with each pull-up and he counted breathlessly.

 _~Stubborn bastard just won't accept defeat.~_

Levi silently watched him, admiring his physique as much as he admired his spirit. This was what he meant when he'd told Eren to learn to adapt. Erwin was the perfect example of that. When the blond man reached one-hundred, he dropped down from the pole and he grabbed the towel he'd left hanging on the other pull-up bar beside his. He wiped his face off and turned around, and his eyes met Levi's across the distance.

"Another cleaning day?" Erwin said after a moment of mutual staring.

Levi looked down at himself—more to avoid staring at the other man's exposed upper body than for any other reason. "For me...later. I thought I'd get in some exercise first."

"In your apron?" Erwin smiled crookedly.

"No," answered Levi with some annoyance. "It was a last minute decision."

"I see." Erwin draped his towel around his neck. "Do you need me to spot you?"

Levi looked at the weight-lifting sets and he shook his head. "You know I hardly ever use those, but thanks."

"Just thought I'd offer." Erwin had a seat on one of the benches to catch his breath. "Have you eaten yet this morning?"

Levi compressed his lips and he considered telling a lie—but those steady blue eyes pierced him and he knew the commander would see right through it. "Not yet."

"You shouldn't exercise on an empty stomach."

Levi paused in the act of untying his apron and he shot the bigger man an annoyed look. "You're not my real mom."

Erwin laughed softly. "But I'm your commander and I need you in top form, so spare me the look of death."

Levi sighed and removed his apron and headscarf. On a whim, he balled them up and threw them at Erwin—who caught them easily with his hand. "I'll do it after I get some exercise."

 _~And why are you acting so casual? I didn't dream up what happened last night, did I?~_

* * *

Erwin watched as his right hand man began his exercise routine. He always enjoyed watching Levi do it. Shirtless like himself but wearing his standard uniform pants and boots, the scout leader began with some meditative breathing, and then he moved on to stretches. From there he hopped nimbly up onto the tight rope stretching across the eastern side of the rec room. Levi rarely used equipment in his routine, preferring acrobatics and training dummies over weights. Much as the captain had observed his routine, Erwin observed Levi's with the same admiration.

"I still don't know how you can manage to do the splits on that thing without falling off," he remarked, shaking his head.

"You can't do the splits at all," replied Levi in a distracted voice. He came back up like he was standing on a level floor rather than a thin rope, and he began to walk the length of it, practicing combat moves as he went. "You're too stiff, old man."

"Not everyone can be as limber and agile as you." Erwin countered. Levi turned around to repeat his walk the opposite way, affording an excellent view of the way his pants molded to his ass. Erwin found himself unable to look away. Why had he never appreciated the way those pants fit him before? That had to be the most perfect, toned little ass he'd ever—

"You should try stretching more often," Levi was saying, "though you still kick ass in the field without exceptional maneuverability."

"I appreciate the compliment." Erwin swallowed and he glanced out the window to distract himself. "Maybe you and I should spar. My strength versus your agility. What say you?"

Levi snorted and hopped down nimbly from the tightrope, wiping his hands off absently on his pants. "I'm not sparring against a cripple."

He looked immediately contrite the moment the words left his mouth—a rare thing for Captain Levi. His sleepy gray eyes widened in a horrified manner as they met Erwin's. "I...didn't mean that. You aren't—"

"But I am." Erwin smirked, trying to ignore the sting of those words. However much Levi respected him, the truth was that he _was_ a cripple. "I'm not handicapped by it, though."

"No, of course you're not." Levi still looked ashamed of himself, his cheeks flushing with mortification. "Don't listen to me. I'm just running off at the mouth like I usually do."

What had started out as the usual familiar banter had quickly turned into something serious and dramatic. Deciding that he didn't like to see Levi wearing a mask of shame like that, Erwin forgave him. "Come here, Levi."

The captain obediently crossed the room and to Erwin's surprise, he straddled the other end of the weight lifting bench he was sitting on, facing the commander. Their knees touched and Levi gazed at him with earnest regret in his eyes. "I'll accept whatever discipline you think I deserve for that shit I just spewed."

Erwin's mind went to a completely inappropriate place, and he blamed it in part on that look of submission on Levi's face.

 _~Don't go there. Don't even think of it.~_

"I'm not going to discipline you for speaking your mind," Erwin assured him, carefully boxing up the thoughts that his mind had tried to conjure. "But I do think we need to discuss this. Levi, I don't believe for a second you think I'm diminished by the loss of my arm. If you did, you wouldn't still be following me."

"No, but I still shouldn't have said that." Levi sighed, his brows furrowing in a troubled manner. "You've proven your strength over and over again. You're still a good tactician and you still inspire your soldiers. Like I said, it was just bullshit. I didn't think before speaking."

"You rarely do," observed Erwin with an amused smile. "But you don't sugarcoat anything, and that's why I value your opinions so much."

Levi was staring at the stump of his right arm as if he couldn't look away, and to Erwin's surprise, he reached out and he caressed the end of it gently. Erwin forgot how to draw breath in response to the oddly sensual touch.

"Does it hurt?" murmured the captain. "I've heard amputees sometimes get phantom pains where their limbs used to be."

"Sometimes there is an ache," explained Erwin. "Other times I wake up feeling like it's still there. It's strange."

Levi nodded and lowered his eyes ponderingly, still caressing the stump as if trying to sooth it. It was an uncommonly sweet gesture and it made Erwin's heart pound fiercely. "I'd like to find that titan that did this," Levi whispered, "and before I take it down, I'll cut off _both_ its arms as payback."

His gaze lifted to meet Erwin's and the commander was too stunned by the passion in Levi's eyes to immediately respond. "That's my vow to you, Erwin. I'm going to get that fucker."

 _~He's so sincere...so vehement.~_

But then, Levi could be like that when it suited him. His persona ranged from irritable to cold and detached on the field, but when they were alone together he tended to show deeper layers. Erwin had planned to wait a while before initiating anything romantic with the captain again, both to let his head clear and to give Levi time to decide how he felt about it. The way he was looking at him now though...he couldn't resist.

Erwin reached out to cup the back of Levi's head and draw him in for a kiss. His pulse quickened further as his lips touched Levi's and he deepened the kiss, feeling a raw passion for the other man. Levi's hand slid up Erwin's shoulder and the fingers of his other hand pushed through his hair. He parted his lips eagerly and Erwin took the invitation to slip his tongue into his mouth.

How long they kissed he couldn't guess, but they finally pulled away to stare at each other for a moment, foreheads pressed together like before.

"I was starting to wonder if I'd dreamed it up," said Levi in a breathless voice. He was breathing heavily, like Erwin. "You were acting like nothing happened last night."

"I was trying not to make you uncomfortable," husked Erwin. "I didn't want to push, and I couldn't tell if you were ready for—"

Levi kissed him again, cutting off his speech. Forgetting all about cautioning against moving too fast for now, Erwin put his arm around him and he focused only on the feel of Levi's lips and tongue.

Neither of them noticed Hange walk in, raise a brow and then turn around and walk out.

* * *

"Hahaha! I knew it! I _knew_ it!"

Connie and Jean found Hange cackling in the hallway, rubbing her hands together like some villain whose plan had just fallen into place. The two young men looked at each other in a puzzled manner before the former of the two spoke up.

"Hey Hange...um...what's up?"

"Th-the captain and the commander," she blurted, laughing with delight.

"What about them?" questioned Jean.

Hange composed herself and wiped her eyes. She cleared her throat and shook her head. "Oh, it's nothing. Don't mind me."

"Okay..." Connie looked as though he wanted to run the other way. "So um...we thought we'd head into the rec room to—"

"Oh no, you can't do that," interrupted Hange solemnly. "Sorry boys, the rec room's off-limits for now."

Jean frowned. "Can we ask why?"

Hange's lips twitched as though she were fighting more laughter. "Captain Levi's in there...cleaning. You don't want to irritate him by getting in the way, do you?"

Both of them went pale. "No ma'am," said Connie immediately. He tugged his companion's arm. "Let's go, Jean."

As the two of them walked away and Hange started to giggle again, Jean scratched his head. "That made no sense. What did she mean about the captain and the commander before?"

"Pft...when does it ever make sense with Hange?" Connie saw Sasha coming down the hallway toward them and he called out to her. "Hey Sasha...rec room's off limits right now because the Captain's cleaning in there. Want to go play some cards with us or something?"

She took the baked potato out of her mouth and nodded. "Mmph...sure! I was just coming here because one of the senior officers gave me a dirty look when they saw me eating. I figured they were going to tell me to go work it off or something, but cards is a much better idea."

As she watched the three young people go, Hange covered her mouth on snickers and she dared to open the rec room door a crack and have another quick peek. Levi had relocated to Erwin's lap, straddling him and running his fingers through his hair as they remained lip-locked. Hange grinned and closed the door, deciding she'd best keep guard in the hallway to keep anyone from interrupting them.

* * *

Levi trembled as Erwin's hand slid down his back to cup his ass. His first instinctive reaction was to recoil, but he tempered it and he didn't stop him. He wanted this. He wanted _him_. Erwin was the only man alive that Levi would willingly screw now, and he meant to prove that to him. There was one problem, though. They were in the middle of the public rec room and it dawned on Levi that someone could walk in on them at any moment.

"Erwin, wait," he gasped, breaking the kiss. "Not here."

It took the other man a moment to react to his words. Erwin looked as dazed as Levi felt, and the captain flushed when he saw how much the commander's pants were straining at the crotch. He was in a similar state but Erwin's bulge was more impressive.

"I'm sorry," Erwin took his hand off Levi's ass. "I let my hand wander."

Levi shook his head and managed a smirk. "That isn't the problem. If it were, I'd have shoved your hand away. We're in the rec room, idiot. Do you want to risk giving the others a show?"

"Ah." Erwin looked faintly embarrassed. "I wasn't thinking of where we are, to be honest. You have a way of doing that to me."

Levi risked one more brief kiss, if only to show the man he wasn't protesting the action itself. "We should stow it for now. This could get out of hand fast."

"Yes, it could," agreed Erwin with a sigh.

With some regret, Levi climbed off of him and he retrieved his cleaning garments. At least the apron would hide his woody. "I think I'll do some cleaning now. Let me know when we have new orders, sir."

What was he doing? Now _he_ was trying to pretend nothing happened between them.

 _~But if I think about it too much, I'll end up inviting Erwin into my bedroom to finish what we started. Can't slack off during the day when there's so much to get done around here.~_

Besides, he didn't know how far they could go before he started freaking out. An ass grope was one thing, and Levi was forced to agree that it was better they take it one step at a time—even if one of them could die tomorrow.

"Don't forget to eat," Erwin said as Levi finished putting his apron and scarf on.

"Nanny," muttered Levi in an accusing tone. "I'll do it before I get started. Happy?"

"Yes, that would make me happy," agreed Erwin with an answering smile. "Thank you."

Levi sighed a little and he turned to go, but he stopped and looked over his shoulder at him. "I meant what I said about getting the titan that took your arm."

"I know you did." Erwin stood up and stretched. "Who knows? Maybe one day I'll grow the arm back."

Levi stared at him with furrowed brows, unsure if he was joking or sincerely hopeful. Erwin had a very odd sense of humor. "Whatever," he muttered, suspecting he was being toyed with.

"What are you doing out here?" Demanded Levi when he found Hange standing in the hallway.

"Oh, just sweeping up some cobwebs," she said, pointing at the broom in her hand. "Good workout?"

Levi was instantly suspicious, and he felt his cheeks heating. That little smirk on her lips worried him. "Fine. I'm going to eat."

"That's wonderful! You should _absolutely_ eat something, sir. Keep up your strength."

Levi groaned inwardly. Maybe Erwin got his creepiness from her. The two of them were friends, after all. Hoping she didn't know more than she let on, he excused himself to endure the struggle of eating.

* * *

Two days later they had another expedition assignment to conduct. This one involved gathering resources from beyond the wall. While there _were_ resources within the wall, some of the medicinal herbs and the sturdier types of wood could only be gathered in the wilder lands under titan domination. Hange was slowly cultivating a garden with those herbs but there was a ways to go. It would be dangerous—like all their missions tended to be—but Erwin had a solid plan. One small group would go into the forest of giant trees to attempt to hunt and collect wood, while the others would keep the titans in the area distracted. Having a larger concentration of people on the outskirts should draw the attention of the creatures long enough for the smaller team inside to get some resources.

Of course there were always abnormals to worry about. Erwin instructed his soldiers not to engage any abnormal titans that didn't show an interest in humans—but if that giant ape titan happened to make an appearance, they were to immediately withdraw and make for the wall.

"Some of you have seen this creature before," he said to the gathered expedition members. "Others have only heard about it. We can only guess what its motives are, but we suspect it has the ability to turn ordinary humans into titans. Do _not_ attempt to engage this titan if it appears. It's intelligent and more deadly than most we've ever faced—including the female, colossal and armored titan."

"And what if we run into the latter two?" Someone in the back row asked.

"The same rule applies," answered the commander. "This is a resource gathering mission, not a hunt. One day we'll deal with them but for now, our objective is to get supplies and get out with as few casualties as possible."

Armin raised his hand. "What about Ymir, sir? She...isn't exactly an enemy. She's helped us before even after revealing her titan form."

Levi spoke up. "Ymir made it clear whose side she's on when she left with Reiner and Bertholt. Consider her an enemy until she proves otherwise. Don't let past friendships get in the way of common sense, understood? The only titan any of you should trust is Eren."

All eyes turned to Eren and the young man flushed uncomfortably.

"Speaking of Eren," Levi went on, "if any of our old 'friends' make an appearance, you haul ass. Don't stick around trying to be a hero."

Eren grimaced but said nothing. Both Levi and Erwin had made it very clear to him that he could use his titan form if granted permission but there were some cases—like the scenario just mentioned—in which he was to focus purely on escaping back to the wall. Both the captain and the commander knew what a burden that was on him...knew he would blame himself for any deaths they sustained if their teams had to protect him from the titans that wanted to abduct him. They had no time to pander to his guilt issues, though.

"Are any of the mission instructions unclear?" Erwin pressed after Levi finished speaking. When there were no further questions, he nodded. "Then let's make our final preparations and move out."

As the regiments filed out of the meeting room, Erwin's eyes met Levi's and something passed between the two of them. Levi nodded in silent confirmation to the question in the commander's eyes.

 _"Are you sure you're ready for this?"_

 _"Yes."_

Erwin put aside his misgivings and he hoped that was true. He'd seen Levi a little shaken in the past, but never like he'd been after getting swallowed by the titan. Even when he'd opened up to him and explained the things he'd been through while living in the underground city, Levi spoke of it in a matter-of-fact, dispassionate voice as if it had all happened to someone else and not himself. Erwin supposed that was because he considered the person he used to be dead, and therefore in his mind it _had_ happened to someone else.

It was Captain Levi, however, that had wound up in the belly of a titan. Not that thug he once was. It seemed to have had a profound effect on him and it had made him jumpy and even moodier than usual. At least he seemed to be a little more like himself now.

* * *

"We have two fifteen meter's and three seven meter's incoming from the west," reported one of the scouts as she landed on the branch before Levi. "The commander's team is already engaged with a handful, according to reports."

Levi looked off in the direction indicated and he saw the approaching threat. "Let them move in. Once they're in range, I'll take one of the fifteens. The rest of you concentrate on the other one first, and then we'll deal with the smaller ones."

She saluted. "Yes sir!"

Levi waited with seeming patience, looking utterly unconcerned. Most of the corps had grown used to it by now, but a few of them looked like they were ready to vomit. It was the anticipation...charging themselves up for a fight that could result in the death of any one of them—or even all of them.

Eren was with Mikasa on Erwin's team. Levi had Sasha and Connie on his, and Hange had Armin and Jean. The rest were made up of senior troops and new recruits—and the latter were the ones looking fairly green right now.

"Hey," said Levi when he saw one of said new recruits tossing his cookies over the side of the branch he was on, "pull it together. If you want to live through this you've got to swallow your fear and keep your wits, got it?"

"Y-yes sir," answered the rookie, wiping his mouth.

Levi thought of what he'd just said.

 _~Swallow your fear. Hmph. Great choice of words there.~_

The first titan came within range and Levi wasted no time. He employed his gear and fired the wires, honing in on his target even before he leaped off to let the gear carry him. The titan turned just as he was nearing the back of its neck and Levi found himself staring into its open, drooling mouth. He was heading right for it. For a moment he couldn't react. Had he not felt that paralyzing fear, he'd have thought to slice the creature's mouth and jump away—but his courage failed him and the flight mechanism took over. He fired his other wire the opposite direction and he arched away from the titan, landing against the trunk of one of the giant trees.

"Sir! Are you all right?"

Levi was staring at the titan he'd almost delivered himself as breakfast too, and it took him a moment to comprehend Sasha's shout. A cold sweat broke out on his brow and he reached inwardly for the strength he needed, determined to overcome his fear.

"Fine," he said levelly. "Focus on your targets. My gear just jammed up a little."

He didn't wait to see if she looked like she bought it or not. Now a different kind of primal feeling was rising in him—anger. He wouldn't let these things turn him into a sniveling coward, helpless prey for them to devour. He knew what to do and he wasn't going to allow a moment of weakness change who and what he was now.

"You all just keep getting uglier," he snarled as he soared through the air, closing in for another attack. He spun and he sliced the titan's cheeks open. He even got close enough to lob off the end of its tongue and he felt some satisfaction in that. The titan stared at him with dull, blank eyes and made a clumsy grab, only to have him come in like a whirlwind and separate all of its fingers from its hand.

He was too fast for it and he began to slice it to bits. A part of him warned him to just finish the kill, but Levi was still too angry for that. "Think you can stuff me in that fat-lipped, ugly mouth and make a meal out of me?!"

Some of his squad paused as the enraged captain kept carving the titan up, steaming body parts falling to the forest floor.

"C-captain," Connie called. He and the others had already dispatched their assigned titan, along with the smaller three. Levi was too busy making mince meat of his to notice, however.

"Too bad for you," growled Levi, spinning through the air as he aimed for the titan's abdomen. He didn't even hear Connie's shout. The titan's guts spilled out after his furious pass, along with its engorged stomach. It was then that Levi noticed movement in the membrane of the organ.

 _~Shit, someone's still alive in there...~_

"Time to stop playing," he announced to the titan, and then he dove in for the kill. He nearly severed its head from its neck with the depth of his cut and the moment it fell, he dropped to the ground beside the stomach. He wasted no time in slicing it open, close enough to where he saw the movement but far enough to hopefully not cut the living person inside. A gore-covered female fell out of the opening a moment later and it took him a moment to recognize the gasping, sobbing young woman.

"Lori Taylor," he announced, recognizing the girl's face. She was one of their newest recruits, and she'd been assigned to the rear flank. The titan must have attacked her flank and swallowed her up before reaching the forest. Like himself, she was lucky. All of her limbs appeared to be intact. Her state of mind, however, seemed to be another matter. She was staring blankly at the sky, tears streaming from her terrified, blue-gray eyes. She didn't seem to know where she was. Levi could relate to that feeling of shocked terror.

"Lori," he called, shaking her a little.

The tearful, bloodshot eyes looked up at him. "Captain...Levi?"

He nodded. "That's right. Can you move?"

"Wh-what happened?" She hiccoughed.

"You got swallowed by a titan," one of the other recruits said, landing beside their captain to stare with awe at the rescued young woman. "But the captain here saved you!"

Lori grabbed at Levi's jacket with her bile coated hands. She started to sob against his chest, mumbling incoherently. He sighed and he looked up to the trees. "Take her up top and get her cleaned up," he ordered his team. "Connie, you come with me. We need to stay on top of their numbers and be ready for any more than come our way."

"Sir." Connie saluted him and a couple of other junior recruits pried the half-hysterical girl away from the Captain.

With a disgusted glance down at the residue on his clothes, Levi sighed again. There was no help for it and he needed to get away from the stench of the remains still inside the stomach. "Let's get moving," he said to Connie.

* * *

They managed to fill one cart with wood supplies, but the hunters on the team only brought down one kill. They had better luck with gathering herbs, berries and nuts from within the forest, but Hange's team spotted the gigantic ape titan far off in the distance. Though it didn't seem interested in heading their way just yet, reports of past encounters with this creature convinced Erwin that it wasn't worth the risk to stay around.

He met back up with Levi's group once the supply team joined up with him, and the two of them eyed each other up and down, silently checking for injuries. He saw some cuts on the smaller man's face and a bruise forming on his jaw, but Levi appeared otherwise unharmed. The stain on his clothing had the commander frowning though. He could see where the material had disintegrated a bit, exposing parts of Levi's chest and torso.

"Status report?"

Levi approached on his horse and he spoke softly to him. "No casualties on our end, but there were some injuries. We also recovered one of the recruits from the rear flank. She was swallowed whole. I cut her out of the stomach when I spilled the titan's guts and noticed movement."

Levi nodded toward one of the wagons, where they had carried the still sobbing young woman to place her in it for the ride home. "I think she's lost it."

Erwin looked over at the girl—who had been cleaned up and bundled in a cloak just like he'd done with Levi days ago. Whether she would be fit to keep going as a member of their corps depended entirely on whether she could cope with what happened to her, and she was young.

"We lost three," murmured Erwin. He shook his head and looked back grimly at the wrapped bodies they were carrying to another cart. "I won't go into the details. Standard hazards of the occupation. Hange's team lost one and three more are severely injured."

Levi nodded and lowered his gaze. "I'll see to it they're all identified and documented before cremation."

Erwin tried to read Levi's expression. Something still wasn't right, but he wouldn't publicly question the captain's state of mind, however. That could wait until they were in private. He'd already heard reports of Levi going off on his first target like a berserker—but it seemed he got it out of his system after that and performed with his usual excellence.

"All right," he called to their squadrons, "Good work, all of you. We're going to withdraw now. Get into formation and do your best to see to it there are no more casualties on the way home."

* * *

After the grim task of listing the dead and collecting their gear, any parts of their uniforms that were still serviceable and their badges, they built funeral pyres and said their farewells. It was a sad affair as always but a lot of them had become so used to losing squad members that they just stood in solemn silence. The younger ones openly wept, as expected. The girl rescued from the titan's stomach was brought to the infirmary immediately to be looked over. Erwin stood quietly beside Levi as the bodies of the fallen went up in flames.

"I had hoped that this time it would be different," murmured the commander. He thought of Mike and all the other experienced soldiers they'd lost, and he couldn't decide which was more tragic. The young ones got their lives cut short, but the loss of the more seasoned ones were ultimately a greater blow.

Levi kept his eyes ahead, his features calm and expressionless. "Haven't you learned by now that it's never going to be different? We've never returned without at least one casualty."

"True." Erwin didn't even know why he was bothering to talk about it. People knew what they were getting into when they joined the Surveillance Corps. They were told from the beginning that fatalities in the line of duty were a guarantee. Still, he believed that some of them entered with the quaint notion that _their_ lives would be spared...that they wouldn't be the first to fall.

They stayed until the last ember died out, and then Erwin turned to Levi. "When you've cleaned up and changed, come to my office."

Levi nodded silently and he gave a salute of acknowledgement.

* * *

"So, let's not beat around the bush," Erwin said an hour later when Levi entered his office as instructed. "Have a seat, Captain."

Levi quietly did as instructed, still wearing his stoic mask.

"Word has it you snapped a bit when you brought down that titan that swallowed Taylor," Erwin began, tapping his pen on the documents he'd been working on. "I've heard it from more than one person on your team, Levi."

The captain's eyes met Erwin's calmly. "I had anger issues to deal with, sir."

Erwin resisted a smirk. He had to deal with this as a superior right now; not as a friend. "Anger issues. From what I've been told you sliced and diced that titan the same way you've been doing to your meat, when you should have focused on taking it down quickly. What inspired this wild rage in you, Captain?"

Levi licked his lips, and for a moment Erwin saw the trauma he'd been hiding so well in the back of his gaze. "There was a moment where I thought I'd be swallowed again. It was a fluke...could have happened to anyone...but it reminded me of before. Yes, I lost it a little. It pissed me off to feel helpless and paranoid, even for a second. I wanted that titan to pay for that."

Erwin lowered his gaze in thought. He could easily imagine Levi turning fear into anger and using it as strength. "I see. Would you say you worked out your issues, then?"

Levi shrugged. "Seems that way. I snapped out of it after I cut the kid free of the stomach chamber."

"And if you hadn't 'lost it' that way, she might have perished," reasoned Erwin. "Yes it was a coincidence and you lost composure, but you did reign it in after that and your team was the only one not to suffer any casualties."

Levi's brows knitted. "Am I being reprimanded or praised? I can't tell with you."

"A little of both. You spared us a casualty with your actions, even if they were reckless. I will say this: don't make that a regular occurrence, Levi. You are the best because you use your head in the field as well as your skills. If you say you've overcome your issues then based on your performance afterwards, I'm inclined to believe you. However if there is a repeat occurrence of you losing your head again, I'll have to consider excluding you from future missions until you've gotten your head back on straight."

Erwin met his eyes and held his gaze, willing him to understand. It was for his own good as well as the good of the squad that Levi remain a capable leader or take time out. The message seemed to make it through. Levi gave a nod and he stood up to salute him.

"Understood. I expected you to say something like that. Is there anything else?"

Erwin shook his head, wishing they could have a more pleasant, personal conversation. Now wasn't the time for that, though. "You are dismissed. Enjoy your dinner. You might want to stop by the infirmary to visit Lori Taylor after you eat. I hear she's settled down some and she wants to thank you for saving her life."

Levi sighed. "Can it wait? I'm not really in the mood."

"Suit yourself, but I think you could help her cope with this," suggested Erwin, "even with your usual brand of 'tough love'. Someone needs to snap her out of it if she's to be any use to the squad in the future."

"Just give her time," Levi said.

"Do we have time, Captain?"

Levi's jaw visibly clenched. "No sir, I guess we don't." He saluted again and he walked out the door.

Erwin sighed and shook his head once he was alone. No wonder people thought he was a cold bastard.

* * *

Levi went to see Lori after choking down a dinner of potato soup. It didn't taste bad, but ever since his experience he only ate because his body required it to keep going. At least this time he'd gotten it all down without upchucking any of it afterwards. He found the room they'd put the girl in and he found her sitting up in her narrow hospital bed, staring blankly at the plate of food they'd given her. Her head was bandaged—he supposed she'd sustained a minor injury during the struggle that he hadn't noticed due to all the goop covering her. Her eyes lit up when she saw him walk in and some of the trauma faded from them.

"Captain," she rasped, her voice hoarse from sobbing. She reached out for him like he was a saint or something as he came to her side and she took one of his hands in both of hers. "Sir, I owe you my life. Thank you so much for saving me! It...it was so terrible!"

"Yeah, I know." He let her hold onto his hand for a moment and he examined her quietly as she clung to it like a lifeline. He reached out to slide the long, dark blonde braid draped over her shoulder through his fingers. "This has to go."

His words seemed to jolt her out of her hero worshiping moment and she let go of his hand to clutch the braid. "M-my hair?"

"I'm not saying you should shave it bald, but the reports say the titan that swallowed you snatched you up by it when it came up behind you." He held her startled gaze as he spoke in a soft but stern voice. "That's a good way to get yourself eaten, so don't be an idiot. I don't even know why they let you keep it that long when you joined us in the first place."

"I...was told that as long as I keep it tucked into my uniform—"

"Never mind that," he interrupted. "It obviously wasn't tucked in when you got grabbed. You're better off putting safety over vanity and cutting it shorter."

"Okay," she said in a small voice, absently toying with the braid. "Whatever you say, sir. I trust you."

Levi pulled up the wooden chair by the wall and he had a seat. "Good. Now look at me and listen hard to what I'm going to say, Lori."

She nodded, a blush rising in her cheeks as he held her gaze again. "Yes sir?"

"It's a harsh, fucked-up world we live in," he began. "I don't know what kind of life you had before joining your training squadron and coming here but you've got to put aside any notion that life's going to get easier. You're going to see your friends die. You'll probably die yourself. _How_ you go out doesn't have to be up to fate, though. What happened to you today...you've got to put it behind you. Bury it in a dark corner of your mind, because if you don't, it's going to have a negative effect on everything you do and you're going to put your squad and yourself in greater danger if you don't buckle down and cope. Is any of that sinking in?"

Tears filled her eyes again. "But...how? How do I b-bury it?"

 _~Shit, can I ever relate with that. I asked myself the same question after it happened to me.~_

"That's something you'll have to figure out on your own," he said aloud. "I'm not going to bullshit you and tell you it gets better. All you can do is find a way to make it suck less and don't let it beat you. One thing I can tell you is I know what it's like. I got swallowed just a few days ago myself on a mission."

Her mouth fell open. "Y-you?! But you're humanity's strongest soldier! If they can swallow you what hope do the rest of us have?" She frowned in confusion. "But...you're here. You survived."

"So you aren't completely thick," he muttered. "Yes, I'm here and I survived. Commander Erwin cut me out of the titan just like I did you. That's the important thing to remember, Lori—your squad mates. Learn to trust them. Count on them. I don't care what damned titles they give me, I'm still just human like you. It could happen to any of us at any time. You've got to let that sink in, but you also need to know that we look out for each other. Survive. That's all we can do. Keep that in your head and you might just live a while longer."

She gulped and she looked down at the cooling food on her plate. It wasn't much; just some bread and cheese for a start. "Survive," she whispered, and she selected the wedge of cheese and started bringing it to her lips. Her mouth trembled along with her hands and tears rolled down her cheeks. She hesitated as Levi silently watched.

Knowing exactly how she felt, he stood up. "Soup is easier. I'll take your plate and have them bring a bowl to you. Just remember, Lori: survive."

"Thank you, Captain Levi."

He took her plate without another word and he carried it out of the room. He thrust it at Hange when he saw her. "She can't eat this shit yet. Bring her some soup if you don't want her puking up her dinner."

"Yes sir, Captain Cranky!"

Levi gave her a glare that was completely lost on her, and he exited the infirmary with the intention of going to his chambers. He ran into Erwin in the hallway on the way and he grumbled under his breath.

"Goodnight, Levi," offered the commander.

Levi paused at his door. "Goodnight, sir. By the way: you're an asshole."

Erwin scratched his chin and watched him disappear behind the door. "I suppose that's better than 'monster'."

* * *

-To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Erwin noticed that for the first time since his ordeal with the titan, Levi left his chambers without wearing his cleaning outfit. He was dressed casually and there seemed to be renewed purpose and confidence in his eyes. Erwin watched quietly from the stables as his second in command passed by and he nodded, his lips curving slightly.

 _~Good. I knew you wouldn't stray for long.~_

Now the question was whether he was really over it or if it was just an act while in public. Erwin guessed that his apron and headscarf had been a sort of security blanket for Levi. If he was again back to using it only when cleaning, it was a clear sign that he was doing his best to move on. Erwin finished brushing down his horse and he gave the animal a pat before leaving the stables to wash up for breakfast.

When he sat down to eat in the mess hall later, he saw that Levi was already there having porridge. Erwin watched him covertly, keeping an eye on his hands and the expressions on his face. He saw Levi grimace as he lifted the spoon to his mouth, saw him hesitate. Erwin silently supported him, willing him to get past his food aversion. Levi glanced up from his spoonful just in time to meet his eyes before Erwin could look away and the commander decided it was better to just hold his gaze. For a moment the two of them just stared at one another, and then Levi glanced down at his spoon again, opened his mouth and ate the contents off of it.

Erwin smiled subtly in approval and he resumed eating his own meal, satisfied that even though it might take a while, Levi would eventually be back to his old self again.

* * *

A couple of days later, Levi was out riding his horse in the safe zone within the walls, just for the chance to get away from the fort for a while and think a few things through. He'd deliberately avoided contact with Erwin outside of duty, because for one they'd both been very busy and for another, he still suffered confusion over the whole thing. He needed to sort out his head before he even thought of pursuing something further with the commander.

He also knew that Erwin had been keeping an eye on him and he found that irritating. All right, so he'd gone ballistic on _one_ titan. Eren Jaeger had done that very thing himself a few times, and...and well, Erwin did keep close tabs on him too. Levi wasn't generally a terribly introspective person because he had so few memories worth revisiting and so few things to look forward to. However, recent events had forced him to examine himself inwardly and consider what his best course of action should be. There was really no choice in the matter of his trauma over getting swallowed. His only choice was to overcome that experience and survive, as he'd told Lori.

It was really the Erwin situation that troubled him the most, right now. Why was he offended that his commander was having him watched? He'd slipped up and now Erwin was just doing as responsibility dictated and making sure he was all right.

Levi's gloved hands tightened on the reins and his eyes narrowed beneath the hood of his cape.

 _~Or is it that he's spying on me because he doesn't trust me anymore?~_

But that was a ridiculous notion. Erwin had already made it clear that he trusted him like no other. Still, he could feel eyes on him as he galloped through the forest. Someone was definitely following him, and Levi had sensed them since he left the fort. It occurred to him that it could be an enemy. Kenny wasn't dead yet and with political tension being so high, it was reasonable to assume that there were always potential assassins lurking in the shadows.

Levi compressed his lips. He was getting tired of this game. Whether it was a friend or a foe trailing him, he was about to put an end to it and confront them. All he wanted was a little bit of fucking time to himself and some peace and quiet. He couldn't get that within the walls of headquarters...not with everyone training, making noise and dirtying the place up all the time. He couldn't even get it in the countryside away from there. Someone was about to pay for this.

Levi reached down to grab the handgrip of his right blade on his 3D gear and he searched for an ideal location. He saw one up ahead and to the left, and he clucked his tongue and snapped the reins to speed up his horse.

"Let's see you follow me this way, asshole," he muttered.

He fired his grappling hook and he jumped from the saddle as the wire streaked out and hit the trunk of the tree he'd chosen. Releasing the trigger, he let it pull him along through the air and then he fired the left grappler to immediately swerve a different direction. Higher and higher he went until he was up in the canopy, and he perched himself on a group of branches and waited, hood pulled low.

Sure enough, another rider came into view from the direction he'd come from. Levi readied the pistol he'd started to carry with him after the latest incident with the enemy militia. They'd all started to carry them anytime they weren't out in titan controlled territory. Just one more weapon requirement in a world that was out for their blood. Levi waited until the rider came within range and he fired his grappler once more at a strategic location before diving out of the tree. He swung down from the canopy with his feet leading the way, seeming to come out of nowhere to the surprised rider.

The poor bastard didn't know what hit him. Levi's boots struck the rider in the chest as he came down, knocking him off his horse. The man fell to the forest floor with a yell and an explosion of breath, winded from the fall. Levi landed at the culprit's feet as the horse galloped off, and he aimed his pistol at the hooded face. Straddling him, he spoke in a low, dangerous voice.

"You really should be more careful about it when you follow someone," he said to the man. "You might bite off more than you can chew. Now, let's see—"

He lifted the hood with the barrel of his pistol and his eyes widened to find Erwin staring up at him with dazed blue eyes. Levi stared at him in surprise for a moment before making an annoyed sound and holstering his weapon.

"What in the hell are you doing?"

Erwin coughed and sat up painfully with the smaller man's help. "Following you. You just said so yourself."

Levi rolled his eyes. "You—"

"Idiot," finished the commander for him. "I know."

"This stalking thing isn't sexy, you know." Levi helped him to his feet, as puzzled as he was frustrated. He'd known Erwin was keeping an eye on him but he didn't expect him to go to these lengths. He would have expected him to send someone else to trail him.

"I wasn't trying to stalk," defended Erwin, still catching his breath. "I saw you leaving and I thought if I could catch up it would be the perfect opportunity to speak with you alone—without worrying about anyone walking in or interrupting us."

The tall blond man brushed grass, leaves and pine needles off his clothing. "You didn't recognize my horse before you decided to tackle me?"

"I wasn't looking at the horse's markings," answered Levi. He leaned back against a tree, covertly examining Erwin for signs that he might have accidentally fractured something. "Are you okay?" he added grudgingly.

Erwin nodded and took a steadying breath, also leaning against the trunk of a tree opposite to Levi. "Fine. I'm only winded. I _did_ call out to you back there before you entered the forest, but my voice must not have carried far enough for you to hear me."

"Oh?" Levi's expression softened slightly. "So talk, then. What's this about?"

"You've been avoiding me."

Levi closed his eyes briefly and he bowed his head. Of course Erwin would have noticed that. "We've been busy," he excused.

Erwin huffed a sound that might have been a chuckle but there was no humor in it. "Aren't we always? Don't act like you don't know what I mean, Levi. Ever since our last expedition you've been distant. I don't know if it's because of what happened between us or if it's because of the warning I gave you, but it concerns me. Also, I wanted to remind you that you can still come to me if you need an ear."

"If I need an ear I'll cut it off someone," said Levi dryly, "preferably one of those anti-human suppression bastards."

"Do you have to do this?"

Levi met his eyes and he saw that Erwin wasn't amused. He looked away and he crossed his arms over his chest, hugging himself unconsciously. "You're only partly right. It has nothing to do with your warning—I'd have been disappointed in you if you _hadn't_ issued it."

Erwin glanced up at the canopy. "So it _does_ have to do with our other encounters, then."

"It's not just that," Levi said reluctantly. "It's also my other problem. I've been trying to deal with it on my own. I know you've offered to help but I'm used to relying only on myself. I needed some time to clear my head and get level before I even thought about talking about it with you in depth. I can't stand the thought of you seeing me weak."

Levi could hardly believe he'd even said that much, but then Erwin had always had a way of getting him to open up. He felt extremely uncomfortable when the taller man smiled at him for the first time in days.

 _~Cut that out. No, don't come over here. Erwin, I can't take it...~_

But Erwin's intuition only went so far. He pushed away from the tree he was leaning against and he walked across the distance to Levi. "I guessed you needed some space, but I had no idea that was the reason." He cupped Levi's chin to urge his head back so that he'd look up at him. "I could never see you as 'weak', Levi. Not even if you stumble—which you rarely do. You're a fighter and a survivor."

Levi closed his eyes, unable to keep staring into that earnest blue gaze. He felt like Erwin would see what he was so desperately concealing and trying to overcome, if he held his gaze much longer. He felt the other man's warm breath against his lips and he swallowed when Erwin's mouth closed over his. His breath hitched and he put his arms around him unthinkingly, parting his lips to accept his tongue. Erwin kissed him languidly and his fingers traced Levi's jaw before pushing into his hair. It made him breathless and tingly, just like each time before. After a few moments, Erwin drew back and he cupped the side of his face.

"Levi," breathed the commander. "I'll give you space. I just wanted to be clear on what was really going on with you. When it comes to battle and command decisions you and I barely need to communicate, but when it comes to personal matters your walls come back up again."

Levi didn't know how to react. He didn't know if he ever would, but that kiss had successfully reminded him of how passionate this man could make him feel—and not just about causes and combat.

"I don't know what to think," admitted the captain. "It feels like every time I start to warm up, you back off and that pisses me off. I thought if I put some more distance between us for a few days I'd be able to come to a solid decision. Then I wonder if you'll be 'the commander' or 'Erwin' when I finally come to you and it fucks with my head."

Erwin lowered his gaze, his blond lashes concealing the blue of his eyes. "Balancing a work relationship with a romantic one is complicated. We'll have to keep them separate, but I haven't changed my mind. Rest assured all that I'm waiting for is your signal. Whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting."

Levi peered up at him searchingly. "I don't have any reason to think you're messing with me but...shit...I don't know _how_ to do what you're asking. I point-blank told you to do me that night and you said we should wait. Now you're telling me to make a move. Which is it?"

Erwin smirked. "You know why I held back, Levi. You weren't in the best frame of mind and I couldn't take advantage of you. Now you seem to be getting it back together again, so—"

"Duck."

Erwin frowned at him, but a split second later, Levi grabbed hold of his jacket and he yanked him down to the ground with him. A bullet whizzed over Erwin's head to slam into the tree that Levi had just been leaning against. He swore as he and Levi rolled behind the bole of a thicker tree together and they both reached for their firearms.

"Shit," muttered Levi, looking around to try and determine what direction it had come from.

"Over there," Erwin said, nodding off to the left. "Ten o'clock."

Levi looked and he saw the form of someone in 3D gear hanging from one of the trees northwest of them. He saw the smoke trail from another one streaking up above them. "Get to the trees, sir," he said, "they're shooting from the canopy and we're at a disadvantage."

Erwin nodded grimly and together, they made use of their own gear to take to the trees and try to find some cover. The two men split up, well aware that they'd only make easier targets if they stayed grouped together. Levi glanced off to his right where Erwin was speeding through the air and he climbed higher, glancing behind him for signs of pursuit. He saw someone coming up behind them and he made out the uniform of one of the enemy militia. There appeared to be at least three more swinging around on their maneuver gear.

Erwin suddenly took an unexpected turn, circling around to head straight back into their ranks. Levi gritted his teeth and he followed him, unsure of whether the commander realized how many of them there were. The blond's powerful form crashed right into their closest pursuer and he grappled with them. There was a shot fired and an unfamiliar voice cried out in pain. Erwin had managed to overpower them with his single arm and the enemy's attempted shot fired into his own leg. Erwin broke away from him and he swooped off to the left, taking cover from the shots being fired at him from the remaining enemies.

Levi used his momentum to leap sideways from tree trunk to tree trunk and as soon as he got in range of one of the distracted ambushers, he blew her brains out with his pistol. He holstered it since he'd have to reload it to use it again and he went for his blades. He pushed off the trunk of another tree and he spun through the air like a corkscrew, blades flashing in the dappled light. He deflected two shots aimed at him and he finished of another attacker, separating their upper half from their lower in the process. The bloody upper torso crashed to the ground while the lower half of the body—still attached to the gear—dangled from the wires still attached to the trees like some grotesque ornament.

Levi leveled out and he searched for his commander. He spotted him up ahead, chasing after the last of their ambushers. Evidently this one had run out of ammo and was trying to buy time to reload or simply escape. Unfortunately for them, Erwin hadn't yet used his shot yet and he fired it just as they were transferring their harpoons to a different tree. The shot hit the enemy in the back and they fell and skidded to the ground. Erwin dropped to the ground beside them and Levi soon joined him.

"Alive?" questioned Levi as Erwin pushed the man with his boot and rolled him onto his back.

"Not for long," guessed the commander as the vanquished assassin coughed up blood. "I must have hit a lung. The one I took down earlier only sustained a leg injury, so we might have better luck with him. What about yours?"

Levi shook his head. "One's brains are all over the forest and the other is in two pieces. I don't think we'll get much out of them. Don't bother telling me I should have shown more restraint. We already know who the they were with."

"I wasn't going to," assured Erwin with a sharp glance around, "but there could be more of them incoming. We should backtrack to the one with the leg injury and try to bring him back with us. Any information we might be able to get out of him could be useful. We can send a well-armed team back to attempt retrieval of this one, if he's still alive by then."

Levi nodded and the two of them whistled for their horses at the same time. In a few moments both of the animals came galloping back down the forest path from the direction they'd run off in. Their riders mounted up immediately and made haste for the fallen enemy with the leg injury.

* * *

When the captain and commander returned to the fort with a bound and gagged stranger wearing the uniform and gear of the anti human suppression squad, hundreds of questions were raised. Erwin ordered the prisoner to be taken away and locked up and he immediately organized a team consisting of Levi, Mikasa, Jean, Moblet and a couple of recent recruits. He ordered Levi to guide them to the ambusher that may or may not still be alive and to search for any other evidence of where they'd come from or whether there were more of them.

After sending them off, he went to the holding area with Hange to interrogate the one they'd brought in with them. Hange saw to his leg injury first in order to keep him from bleeding out before they could get what information they could out of him.

"That was bold, but foolish of you," Erwin said to the prisoner, who was bound to a heavy chair. He offered him a sip of water. "Drink. You must be thirsty."

The man—roughly in his thirties—looked up at Erwin with a scowl. He didn't accept the offering.

"Suit yourself." Erwin replaced the cup of water on the table and he glanced down at the leg that Hange was still bandaging. "I trust you can take care of the rest?"

"I'd have done better if you had left Moblet here," she sighed, tucking a lock of brown hair behind her ear. "Ah well. I'll do my best until they return, Erwin."

He nodded and exited the cell, trusting her to take care of it. Once leaving there, he went to the supply room and he walked over to the table with the newly confiscated weapon gear they'd relieved the man of. He gazed down at it thoughtfully, considering all the possibilities and implications. They still didn't know many enemies they faced within Wallmaria alone, let alone of the titan variety. Certain people seemed to have access to elixirs that would allow humans to become combat titans as well. That was apparently how Eren Jaeger ended up that way, at least.

But this new faction within the military police weren't as obvious as the titans, which in some ways made them more deadly. Every person they ran into on the streets or in their travels could potentially be one of them—and involved in the wall cult. Historia had ascended to the throne but whether she would be able to quell civil unrest and assist in putting a stop to the conflict between factions had yet to be seen.

Erwin absently rubbed the stump where the rest of his right arm used to be. Humanity was in greater peril now than ever before, and if the titans didn't kill them off, humans might just kill each other off for them in the end.

* * *

Levi returned with the investigative squad a couple of hours later. They'd cleaned up the bodies in the forest—including the man that Erwin had shot in the back.

"He died before we made it back to him," confirmed the captain to Erwin. "We collected all of their gear and made sure there weren't any traces left. Did the live one ever speak up or is he being difficult?"

Erwin nodded. "Eventually, but all that we managed to get out of him was that there's been some division in their ranks. Now that the one that was funding their squad is gone and Historia won't support it, some of them have gone mercenary. We already know the military police are being revised and certain operatives have been relieved of duty, so this information isn't particularly useful to us. He won't say who put him and his companions up to this attack and we have plenty of enemies to suspect."

Levi sighed. "Then I guess I'll get changed and work on him myself."

"Actually," Hange said as she walked into the holding cell corridor to join them, "I don't think he has anything of use to give us. He has no idea where Kenny Ackerman is and according to him, he and his friends weren't given a name when they took payment for this hit."

"And you believe him?" Levi asked.

Hange shrugged. "I used the testicle threat. He was already begging me to stop when I decided to issue that one as incentive, just to be sure. Erwin spoke with him and he thinks he's telling the truth too."

Levi looked at Erwin questioningly and the taller man nodded. Trusting his instincts in these things, Levi began to unbuckle his gear. "Then what should we do with him? Kill him or dump him off somewhere in the city blindfolded? We don't need another mouth to feed here."

"No," agreed Armin. He looked between Levi and Hange, "but if he tells any of his associates about what happened here, they're likely to send more to try and finish the job."

"Understood." Levi paused in removing his gear. "I'll take care of it."

"Levi, wait," Erwin said, reaching out to grab his arm before he could start toward the prisoner's cell. "I'm not putting the burden of killing a man on any of you."

"Why not?" Levi shrugged, brows drawn with the memory of a hypothesis they'd discussed. "If theories about the titans are true then we've all been killing humans all this time anyway."

"It isn't the same," Erwin insisted.

"They came here intent on killing us," reminded Levi coldly, "for profit, by the sounds of it. I've already killed two of them and you killed one. One more doesn't matter now."

"They were armed. This one is defenseless." Erwin's gaze was level on Levi. "Have you ever put a defenseless human to death, Levi?"

The captain faltered slightly, and Hange looked away. Erwin put a hand on Levi's shoulder. "I want to talk to him once more before I decide."

"Fine." Levi resumed unbuckling his gear, wanting to get out of it. "Let me know what your decision is. I'd like a bath."

* * *

Levi was looking over some diagrams of military weaponry when Erwin knocked on his door. He got up to unlock and open it and he stepped aside to let the taller man in. "Well?"

Erwin came in and he sat down in the armchair in the corner, sprawling his long legs a bit. "It doesn't sit well with me to kill an unarmed man, so we'll take our chances and drop him off in the nearest city."

"Give him his gear," suggested Levi. He walked over to the window and he looked out at the evening sky. "Then he won't be unarmed. He can go up against me. Then he has a chance...more or less."

Erwin stared at him. "Why are you so determined to kill this man?"

Levi turned to look back at him. "He's the one that almost put a bullet in the back of your head, idiot."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, and even if I'm wrong they all planned to kill us. I don't care what the reason was." Levi stubbornly held his gaze. "Besides, they interrupted us."

Erwin's eyes widened slightly and he laughed. "So this is about them interrupting our conversation? You really are a vindictive thing, aren't you?"

Levi tried to be patient. "You don't get it, do you? They interrupted. That means they had time to move into position, which also means they saw us kissing. You're the one that pointed out we have to keep our work relationship and romantic one separate, didn't you? The Survey Corps already has rumors flying around about us, and we're working with the new queen. How do you think it's going to look if word gets out that you and I...that we..."

He trailed off, stammering.

Erwin smirked. "Are lovers?"

Levi bit his lip. Kissing a few times didn't make them lovers, but that's what people would think and it seemed to be inevitable anyway. "Y-yes...that we're...lovers. Damn it you creep, stop leering at me like that!"

"I'm not leering," protested Erwin. "I'm smiling. It makes me happy to hear you call us that, even if we haven't solidified it yet."

"I didn't say that we _are_ yet," protested Levi hastily.

Erwin got up and went to him. "But you didn't say we aren't, and you just used the word 'yet'."

Levi took a step back. "I can't have this conversation right now, Erwin. Are you going to let me take this fucker down to save everyone some grief, or not? You were the one that taught me some sacrifices had to be made for the good of humanity. You were the one that said those sacrifices are a means to an end, remember? If we let this guy go and he spreads it around that he saw the two of us making out..."

Erwin sighed, reminding himself that this indeed was not the time to make advances on Levi. "You're right. Those kind of rumors could damage our public image even more. Finding out you and I are romantically involve could prompt people to question our motives even further, as asinine as that sounds."

"It doesn't sound asinine because people are basically stupid sheep that jump to even stupider conclusions every day," Levi said. He put his hands on Erwin's shoulders and he looked him in the eye. "So let me take care of it tomorrow. I'll make it clean, all right?"

Erwin tilted his head and he reached up to brush the pad of his thumb over Levi's lips. His eyes were soft on him with regret. "Are you sure, Levi?"

"It's for the good of humanity, right? We all sold off something for it and my hands are already stained. At least this way it's not a helpless, unarmed man. Tell him you're setting him loose, let him leave and I'll go after him."

Erwin took a deep breath. "All right. I suppose your way is better. I just wish I could trust anyone else to take care of it as cleanly as I know you will."

Levi relaxed. "I know. We don't have a choice though."

He hesitated for a moment, having never actually initiated the first kiss before. Levi reached up to cup the back of Erwin's head and he drew it down to his. He felt awkward at first, but then the other man's lips met his and he just fell into it. Erwin hummed low in his throat and put an arm around him, pulling Levi close. They kissed for several moments before breaking away, and Levi gulped at the look on Erwin's handsome face.

"What?" he demanded huskily of the taller man.

"Just the way you look right now," answered Erwin with a little smile. He planted a kiss on Levi's forehead. "I should leave now or I might forget myself. Enjoy your bath and get plenty of sleep...and Levi? Thank you."

* * *

"They really let him go?" Sasha was wide-eyed as she sat at the table the next morning with her friends. "Just like that?"

Armin glanced around before leaning in to whisper to her. "I only overheard a little of it. Apparently him and his companions were hired by someone to try and assassinate either Captain Levi or Commander Erwin...or maybe even both. Who knows how long they've been hiding out in the forests around here waiting for their chance? It was a good thing Commander Erwin went out there to check on the captain yesterday, or who knows what could have happened?"

"The man can take down titans on his own," snorted Sean, "I don't think four guys would have been too much of a problem."

"Well yeah, but he's been a little...off...since that day he got swallowed," Connie pointed out in a whisper. "He's doing better but still...I'm glad the commander was there with him too."

Sasha glanced over at the young woman in their regiment that also suffered such an experience just days ago, and her expression softened. Lori had cut her hair to her shoulders and she gulped her porridge down with visible effort. She flinched whenever anyone came too close and her screams at night woke a lot of people up. Not that they didn't all suffer nightmares of their experiences but Lori was still green.

"At least the captain seems to be coping well," mumbled Sasha, and she dug into the rest of her breakfast.

* * *

Erwin watched from his window as Levi mounted his horse and started to go. The captain paused on his way out the gate and he turned his horse around briefly. He looked directly up at the window where Erwin stood and their eyes met. He gave a nod, and Erwin nodded back. Levi turned his horse around again and he rode out the gate. Erwin lowered his eyes and he shut his curtains.

 _~All the things we do for the sake of humanity...and it just seems to make us more into monsters every day.~_

* * *

He knew he was being pursued. The way the commander had wished him luck told him that his time was numbered and on foot, he had little chance of making it to safety before whoever was coming for him caught him. He tried to keep off the road and out of the open, using a stick as a makeshift cane for his injured leg.

"Bastard said he'd let me go," protested the enemy operative.

But Erwin had been true to his word. He'd let him go as promised. He just never promised he'd live.

Desperate to reach some sanctuary until he could find his way back to his colleagues, the man stumbled as quickly along as he could, gritting his teeth against the pain in his leg and in his hands. He heard the gallop of hooves coming up behind him and he turned to see a figure in a familiar green cloak bearing down on him from the direction of the keep. The wind blew the hood back and when he recognized the face of the rider, his eyes widened with terror.

"N-no! Oh God!" He looked around for something to use his equipment on to get into the air, but there were only a few short, scattered trees here and there. The forest was too far away and he'd never make it.

Desperate and seeing his death coming for him, he drew his guns and he screamed as he fired. For a moment he thought he might be spared; one of his shots hit the horse and it went down screaming. The rider leaped away nimbly before he could be crushed and he kept coming. Thomas fired again once more, before turning in the desperate attempt to use the nearest tree to get airborne, despite how short it was.

He never made it two steps. He felt the sharp pain of a grappling hook piercing his good leg and he yelled when the barb went through to the other side and lodged in his shin. Another barb got him in the back of his right shoulder and he felt a sharp tug as Captain Levi propelled himself toward him with the wires attached to them. Thomas fell to the ground and he got dragged backwards a few feet. He twisted onto his back and he tried to ready another shot, just as Levi came down from above with his blades leading the way.

The cold look in the scout leader's eyes and the flash of his blades in the sunlight were the last thing Thomas ever saw again before his head was separated cleanly from his shoulders.

* * *

Some two hours later, Erwin looked up when Levi came into his chambers. He'd kept the curtains closed and he'd lit one single lamp by his desk. In that dim light, he could see that there was blood on Levi's cloak in places, but his hands appeared unblemished and unsoiled. The captain pulled his hood down to look at him with tired eyes.

"It was clean," he murmured, "and the evidence has been disposed of."

Erwin looked at the bottle of scotch sitting on his desk, and he filled the extra glass he'd set out. He couldn't look directly into those world-weary eyes as he picked it up and held it out in offering. "Close the door and join me in a drink, Levi."

Levi locked the door as directed and he approached Erwin's desk to take the drink from him. "Kind of early for booze."

"Let's make an exception today," suggested Erwin, still keeping his eyes downcast. "Are you injured at all?"

"No," answered Levi. He took a swallow of the liquor and he grimaced at the burn. "My horse got shot. She didn't make it."

Erwin swore softly. Mayfair had been Levi's mount for over three years now. Another harm he'd managed to do against the man. "I'm sorry."

Levi was silent for a moment. Then he spoke in a low voice. "You can't even look at me now, can you? So much for not thinking I'm sullied."

Erwin shook his head, hardly believing what he was hearing. "No...Levi, that isn't why. You aren't the sullied one. I am. I sent you on an assassination mission and now you've lost your horse, too. If I have trouble meeting your eyes, it's because I regret letting you do my dirty work."

"You did what had to be done," Levi said. He took another drink. "So did I. Horses die sometimes. They can get trampled just because they happened to be in the way or carrying a rider and they can break a leg. It happens."

Erwin tried to take some comfort in that, but he wasn't buying it. He set his drink aside and he stood up. "Here, let's get you out of this cloak. I'll have it washed."

Levi didn't stop him from unfastening the cloak and removing it. Amazingly, the cravat, shirt and vest beneath the cloak were unsoiled as well. Erwin looked into those tired eyes, curious. "How did you manage to do all of this without getting blood anywhere except for on your cloak?"

Levi smirked without humor. "I had my apron, gloves and scarf in my saddle bags. I've already dumped them in a bucket down in the basement and Hange's going to take care of cleaning them so the squad doesn't see it and ask questions."

"I see." Erwin should have known. "And your horse?"

Levi lowered his eyes. "She carried me back here. Nobody except Hange saw. She was drowning in her own blood so I finished it. As far as anyone else knows, she broke a leg. That's the story."

Erwin hung the cloak on one of the coat hangers by the door for now, more concerned with Levi than with washing out some blood stains. He retrieved his drink and he went over to the bed. "Come sit with me," he invited. "Take off your gear and rest for a while."

Levi nodded and he unfastened said gear, depositing it on the chest by the window before retrieving his drink and joining Erwin on the bed. He stared straight ahead as he sat down to the left of Erwin and he nursed his drink.

"I want a day off."

Erwin nodded and drank some more as well. "It's a nice thought."

Levi finished his drink off and he got up to retrieve the bottle and bring it over. He poured some into his glass and then he refreshed Erwin's. Setting the bottle aside on the nightstand he sighed. "Thanks for the...whatever the hell this is." He looked into the glass and he sipped it again.

"Scotch," supplied Erwin. "I usually save it for a rainy day. It's not easy to get these days."

Levi clinked his glass against Erwin's. "I'd say this is a pretty rainy fucking day."

Ironically, they could hear thunder in the distance. Erwin glanced toward the window. "Seems the sky's going to agree with you."

"Good." Levi took another swallow of Scotch. "Hmm, doesn't taste so shitty after a few swigs. I can pretend it's just strong tea."

"That's right," Erwin said with a small smile. "You really don't drink, do you?"

"Not really. I think the last time I had a drink was at that stupid party Mike threw five years ago."

Erwin's smile became melancholy. "That was a good night. We had to carry that lug to his room and put a chamber pot by his bedside."

Levi nodded, and then he put a hand to his head. "This stuff really is strong..."

"Maybe you should stop while you're ahead," suggested Erwin. With Levi's small frame and his low tolerance, two whole glasses of scotch would likely leave him in a sorry state later on.

"Let me finish thish one," insisted Levi.

"You're starting to slur," warned Erwin. He started to grin as he looked at him. Levi's cheeks were flushed and he was beginning to get that slack, mellow expression of someone with a buzz. It really didn't take much with him.

Levi hiccoughed. "I don't slur."

Erwin drank a little more and he didn't argue with him. The commander felt the smaller man's head on his shoulder all the sudden and he looked at him to see that his eyes were drifting shut.

"All right, I think that's enough," Erwin chuckled. He put his glass on the stand beside the bottle and then he took Levi's before it could spill. The movement jerked Levi out of his doze and he blinked at Erwin in confusion.

"I nodded off?"

"Just a little," answered Erwin. "Here, lay down." He got up to help him get his legs up onto the bed and lay back.

"But...my boots," protested the smaller man. "I'll get...dirt on your bedding."

"I'll take them off for you," promised Erwin. "It's all right. Just lie down. Have a nap."

"You won't let me get it dirty?"

Erwin examined the boots and he smirked. "Given that it looks as though you wiped them off before coming into my room, I doubt that will happen. Just relax while I get them off for you."

Levi had already drifted off to sleep. Erwin stared down at him for a minute and he smiled. The captain had curled onto his side and he'd pillowed his cheek on his folded hands. He looked absurdly young right now, and absurdly cute. Erwin brushed a lock of dark hair back from Levi's eye before working on the removal of his boots. It took a bit of finesse since he only had one hand to do it with, but after a few moments he got both of the boots off and he followed up with the socks. Once that was done, Erwin pulled the throw up to cover Levi and upon watching the sleeping captain thoughtfully for a few moments, he decided to strip off his boots and socks to join him.

The door was locked, nobody would try to come in if he didn't answer any knocks and both he and Levi had earned a brief respite. The rumble of thunder came closer and Levi stirred in his sleep. Erwin got into bed with him and lay on his right side facing the brunet. Levi mumbled something, sounding slightly distressed. Erwin put his arm around him and drew him close.

"It's just thunder, Levi," he murmured into the other man's ear, mistaking his squirming for distress over the noise. "There aren't any titans around here."

Levi muttered something about tea and squirmed even closer, pressing his face against Erwin's chest. The blond man chuckled softly and he stroked his back. "You have a one-track mind sometimes, don't you?"

He felt so good against him. Erwin kissed Levi's brow and he closed his eyes. Maybe after a nap they'd both feel better.

* * *

-To be continued


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's note: I've had to cut part of this out due to explicit content. For the full, non censored version, you can read this chapter on Archive of Our Own under the same user name. FFnet will not allow me to post a direct link. Apologies for that; ffnet has become extremely anal. I Have no choice. They will erase any direct links I attempt to post to uncensored versions, so all I can do is direct you to my Ao3 account and tell you to look for "Xenobia" on there, if you want to read the un-censored versions.**_

Levi slowly awoke some three hours later. He opened his eyes and he found himself staring at part of Erwin's chest. Either half of the man's shirt had come unbuttoned during their nap or...had _he_ done it in his sleep? He was still feeling a bit buzzed, but his head was definitely clearer than before. He heard the thunder outside and the sound of rain falling. The wind whistled against the keep walls. This was definitely nap weather, but he probably should get up.

The problem was that Erwin's bed was far too comfortable and the embrace of the man himself made it even more so. Levi pulled his head back to look at his companion's handsome, sleeping face. In repose, some of the lines of care smoothed out on Erwin's features. He reached up from where his hand had been resting on Erwin's chest and he lightly touched his brow, then his cheek and jaw. There was stubble coming in—something Levi hadn't noticed that morning due to the state they were both in. He touched the stubble, finding it rough but not off-putting. He himself never grew facial hair.

Erwin stirred slightly at the touch and Levi quickly pulled his hand away, laying it on Erwin's hip. The blond stirred again and Levi made the quick, rather juvenile decision to close his eyes and faked sleep.

"Mm...Levi? You still asleep?"

"Yes." Levi cursed himself inwardly the moment he said it.

Erwin chuckled. "I've never known you to talk in your sleep so coherently, so you must be awake."

Levi cracked an eye open. "How do _you_ know if I talk in my sleep or not?"

Erwin shrugged. "I may have watched you sleep once or...several times."

Levi opened the other eye. "You've watched me sleep before? You really _are_ creepy."

"It isn't like I watched you through the entire night," Erwin defended. "Just for a few moments. One time I even tucked you in."

Levi wracked his brain for that memory. "When, exactly?"

"Back when you were a greenhorn," answered the commander. "I went into the barracks to be sure everyone was in bed by curfew and you were tossing and turning in yours quite a bit. I couldn't make out what you were saying but you were obviously having a nightmare, so I said a few soothing words until you settled down and then I tucked you in."

Erwin smiled. "You're really cute when you sleep, Levi."

Levi stared at him, horrified. It was bad enough that people always referred to him as a "pipsqueak" but now he was "cute"? On top of that, Erwin frequently watched him sleep and tucked him in once?

"Don't say things like that." Levi clutched the bigger man's shirt for emphasis, "and if you repeat that 'cute' bullshit to anyone..."

"I've kept it to myself for all this time, haven't I?" Erwin put his big, calloused hand over the smaller one clutching his shirt and he rubbed it comfortingly. "Don't worry, Levi. It was one of my few little pleasures I kept strictly to myself—partly because I wasn't sure _why_ I always enjoyed watching you sleep so much, until recently."

"Just make sure you don't break that record," muttered Levi, even though Erwin's words and touch had an undeniably positive affect on him.

"I think you just cracked a smile." Erwin was grinning like a fiend.

"Don't leer at me like that."

"I'm not leering. It's just a nice change to see you smile, even briefly." Erwin sighed. "I've often wondered what a laugh from you would sound like."

Levi's face relaxed into a somber expression. "I don't think I'm still capable of it...if I ever was. Don't even think about trying to tickle me like Hange did to find out."

"You should know I respect you too much to do such a thing." Erwin gave him a brief kiss, not trusting himself to do more than that. He levered himself up with a grunt and he straightened his clothes. "Rest in here for as long as you want. You should drink some water soon too."

Levi narrowed his eyes at him. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Erwin paused in slipping his uniform jacket on. "I've got things to do, Levi. So do you, but you've got a pass to relax for a while."

"Then relax with me," insisted Levi, still feeling residual effects from the alcohol he'd drank. It made him a bit reckless, but damned if he hadn't earned the right.

Erwin regarded him quietly...so quietly that it made Levi's temper rise. The captain propped himself up on his elbows and narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't you get it yet? What did we talk about in the forest before those fuckers interrupted us? Stop getting me warmed up and then taking off like nothing happened."

Erwin stared him up and down, and then he started to smile. It was then that Levi recalled vividly just _how_ he'd gotten him into the Survey Corps in the first place. He'd set him and his friends up for an ambush, captured them all and given him the choice between joining him or being turned over to the Military Police. Deception, setup and finally blackmail. Oh, he was grateful for it today and yes, he'd come to trust Erwin, but why play these games with him now?

"Oh, you're good," Levi said, sitting up. "A real manipulative bastard. You've already _got_ me and you're still playing this?"

Erwin's smile faded and he dropped the jacket to the floor. He sat down next to Levi, apparently abandoning his plans for work. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"

Levi shrugged. "I know how you work by now."

Erwin sighed and he reached out to caress Levi's jaw. "Maybe I've been doing it this way for so long that I don't know how else to get what I want. It's not my intention to manipulate you though. As I said; I thought you needed time and space. If you want me to stay, I'll stay." He let his hand drop and he covered one of Levi's with it. "I do want you."

Levi looked down at the hand covering his, and then he met its owner's sky-blue eyes searchingly. Erwin had no reason he could think of to make a play like this if he didn't really want it, but if he was just horny and trying to use him, it was going to end badly for both of them.

"You know I don't play games. I take your orders out of trust and respect, but if this is some bullshit you've cooked up for a lay it's a big mistake."

"It's not a game and it's not bullshit," vowed Erwin, holding his gaze. "I'll prove that to you now."

Erwin took his hand off Levi's and he stroked the smaller man's hip. Levi tensed briefly, but he relaxed under the touch a moment later. When Erwin closed the distance for a kiss, Levi immediately parted his lips. Their tongues fenced and Levi slipped his hand boldly into the opening of the other man's shirt to stroke his chest, feeling the crisp pattern of blond hairs smattering it. Erwin's tongue started to thrust insinuatingly into his mouth and Levi's breath quickened.

 _~Is this it? Are we about to finally stop putting this off?~_

The thought didn't make him as uneasy as he expected it to and Levi didn't resist when Erwin eased him onto his back. Propped up on his right shoulder, Erwin lay on his side beside him and he began to unbutton Levi's shirt with his left hand. He broke the kiss briefly to caress Levi's jaw and ear with his lips, and then he captured his mouth again. Thrills of lust shot through Levi even as he trembled. He felt the cool air touch his chest as his shirt came undone and was parted, and he started throbbing in his pants as arousal set in quickly.

"Erwin," he murmured when the blond's lips parted from his again to kiss his throat. Levi couldn't keep his hands off the other man's broad chest and he found himself tugging his shirt further open. A button popped off and landed somewhere on the bed. He was starting to feel anxious as well as horny.

Was that really _his_ voice, so needy and wanton?

Erwin stared down at Levi's chest and stomach once he had it bared for his view. "I can't think of a better idea I've had all week," he husked, and then he was kissing him again. His palm slid over the smaller man's lithe torso and he paused in his kissing to murmur a reassurance to him when he felt Levi tremble. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Levi. I just want to make you feel good. Just want to touch you for a while."

Both of them knew that Levi usually didn't even like to be medically examined. Even casual touches tended to make him tense up.

 _~This is Erwin though.~_

Levi reminded himself of that fact as the bigger man's touch roamed over his upper body. Nobody had ever offered this to him before. He couldn't stop the slight, responsive tremors of his muscles but he _could_ stop himself from pushing Erwin away. He looked up at him and he gazed into the other man's eyes. Erwin's hair was mussed a bit, falling partly over his right eye. Levi deliberately put his arms up, bending them so that his wrists were over his head on the pillow. He flushed even as he did it, and he parted his thighs a bit. Licking his lips to moisten them, he spoke in a soft, low voice.

"Then I'm yours. I won't stop you or resist. If this goes well, I'll even return the favor."

And he knew exactly how other men liked such favors, though he never parted with those details to anyone—not even Erwin.

* * *

Erwin was completely stunned for a moment. Here was another side of Levi he'd never seen before. The way the smaller man was gazing up at him with those bedroom eyes, that flush to his cheeks and his arms positioned that way...he looked positively sensual. Suspecting Levi might be trying to force himself to submit to something he wasn't ready for, Erwin glanced down. No, he was hard. The bulge in his pants was very obvious. It was almost dizzying, how much this simple act of consent and surrender to him turned Erwin on.

"Levi," he husked, barely able to speak past the tightness in his throat, "are you sure?"

The brunet nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Erwin's. "I was sure days ago, but I suck at things like this."

Erwin shook his head, letting his palm glade over Levi's smooth, toned chest. "No you don't. This is the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

Levi huffed softly. "Weirdo. One thing, though. You'd better cuff me."

"Cuff you?" Erwin suspected Levi was toying with him just to get him back. He didn't imagine their first encounter to involve kink like that.

Levi nodded again, his expression calm and inviting even though his body trembled every few seconds. "That's right. It's for your own safety."

Erwin started to move so that he could retrieve said cuffs, but then he examined Levi's wrists and he noticed the faint, faded marks around them. He knew they couldn't be left over from when he'd arrested him years ago. He'd only worn those cuffs for an hour or two. That wouldn't have been enough to cause chafing that would leave lasting marks like that. He compressed his lips and he shook his head. "No. I won't do that."

Levi frowned, his sexy look fading slightly. "Why the hell not?"

Erwin held his gaze. "If I can't touch you without triggering a violent reaction then you aren't ready for it, Levi."

"You idiot," snapped Levi, "I'm offering myself to you completely. I want this."

"So you say." Erwin stroked his hand over that tempting, bared torso again and Levi's breath caught. "Maybe your body _does_ want it, but I respect you too much to treat you the way someone else treated you in the past. If you trust me, Levi, then no restraints should be needed."

Levi visibly swallowed. "I don't know if I can...hold back."

Erwin kissed him softly. "Then tell me to stop when and if it's too much. That's all you need to do, Levi. One simple word."

Levi's breath quickened tellingly, the expression on his face saying it wasn't due to fear or angst, but arousal. "I'll have to re-think calling you 'asshole' and 'creep' all the time, at this rate."

Erwin smiled softly. "I know you say it with affection. So, will you transfer that trust you say you have in me to this?"

Levi closed his eyes briefly and he gasped when the commander traced a nipple with his fingertip, gently fondling it to hardness. "Y—es," he finally murmured, "but if I end up clocking you, it's your own fault."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take, and I'll gladly take full responsibility."

Erwin started kissing his neck and he took his time with it, first teasing one nipple for a while and then the other. Levi shifted restlessly on the bed, turning his head to the side to bare his neck further. Erwin licked the side of it before lightly sucking on the skin and he let his hand travel lower. He stroked Levi's tight little stomach, feeling the muscles bunch and relax beneath the soft skin. He felt the heat in Levi's cheeks when he kissed them, heard his shivering intakes of breath and he knew he was enjoying it; even if he was struggling with himself to submit to it.

"Levi," murmured Erwin into the captain's ear, "I've been dreaming of this moment." He kissed the shell of his ear and he traced the smaller man's belly button. He couldn't resist playing with it a little before moving on.

Levi's hands clenched into fists but he didn't move them from their position over his head on the pillow. He didn't say anything but a soft, husky moan rose in his throat when Erwin reached lower to cup the swell of his package. He was biting his lip and even as he parted his thighs further invitingly, another tremor shook him.

"Erwin," he gasped, almost as if reminding himself of who was touching him, "E-Erwin..."

"It's all right," soothed Erwin. He kissed his jaw and then he ran his tongue over Levi's lips briefly. "Look at me."

Levi obeyed trustingly, lips parting on a gasp as the bigger man continued rubbing his crotch. Lazy gray eyes stared into intense blue ones as Erwin touched him. Levi seemed to relax and his hands stopped clenching so hard. Erwin held Levi's eyes as he massaged him and the smaller man started to lift into the touch, breath steadily quickening.

"Isn't that good?" coaxed Erwin. "It's all right to enjoy it. Will you let me take it out?"

Erwin started to unbutton Levi's pants, but he waited to unzip them until he got the nod from the other man. He tugged down his fly and he parted the material. "Lift your hips a bit, Levi."

Levi hesitated for only a moment before complying, and Erwin tugged the waist of his pants and underwear down over his hips. Levi's erection sprang free and slapped against his stomach, flushed and glistening at the tip with precum. Erwin ran his first finger over the underside of it from tip to base and it lifted a little in response to the teasing stimulation. Levi's breath hitched and he grabbed at the pillow with both hands, trembling again.

"It's just me," Erwin reminded him softly, and then he gently gripped the base of the shaft and gave it a slow, sensual stroke. He kissed Levi as the smaller man threw his head back and moaned. He was so sensitive to the touch. How could that be when he had such a high threshold for pain? Then again, pain thresholds and pleasure thresholds could be two different things.

"Oh...shit," Levi huffed when Erwin began to stroke up and down.

"You must have done this for yourself before, at least," reasoned Erwin with a little smile of satisfaction. Levi was bigger than he'd expected down there, but given the length of his fingers he supposed he should have known better.

"Of...of course I have," panted Levi. His eyes rolled a little with pleasure and his lids fluttered shut. "Unh...but...it's not the s-same. Fuck...Erwin..."

"Go with it," urged the commander huskily, watching those erotic expressions of pleasure on Levi's normally stoic face.

"H-hold me down," begged Levi, neck arching back. His grip on the pillow intensified and his chest heaved with his labored breath as Erwin's hand stroked him a little faster.

"I only have one hand," reminded Erwin. "Are you asking because it feels good or because you need me to stop, Levi?"

"Yes...don't...stop," pleaded Levi, breaking into a sweat.

"I need to know what that means, Levi," pressed Erwin. "It's all right. Just tell me."

"Afraid I'll...hurt you but...feels good," gasped Levi.

Erwin smiled, even as he felt a stab of pity.

 _~Afraid of your own passion, are you?~  
_

* * *

"I heard the captain is sleeping in the commander's room," whispered one of the new cadets.

Eren paused in his cleaning and he listened in to the chatter of the two girls.

"Why would he do that?" Lori asked. "He's got his own chambers, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but he came back after going on some mysterious assignment and there was blood on his cloak," murmured the other girl. Eren couldn't recall her name. She'd only been around for two days.

"I wonder what it could mean," Lori mused. She sighed. "I hope he's not hurt."

The other cadet nodded. "He didn't appear to be limping or anything. I'm sure the commander would have sent for someone to look him over if he got hurt, so you shouldn't worry."

Eren glanced at Lori when she spoke again. "Do you think he has a love interest? I wonder if he's ever been married."

Jean came up beside Eren and he muttered under his breath. "Yeah, the captain has a love interest all right and it's no girl."

Eren nearly dropped the dish he'd been scrubbing. "Wait..what?"

Just what in the hell was Horseface talking about? He forgot all about his interest in the two girls' conversation.

Jean smirked and he opened a cupboard to put away some of the dried dishes. "Come on, Jaeger. I can't be the only one that noticed."

Eren gave the two young women in the kitchen a wary glance, before grabbing Jean by the arm and pulling him along with him. "Hey," he said in a warning tone once they were out in the corridor, "you shouldn't go around speculating about the captain's private life like that. What the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway?"

Jean crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell do _you_ think it means? Think about it, Eren. Who does the captain look up to? Whose orders does he follow without question?"

Eren could hardly believe what he was hearing. "You can't be serious! Don't spread rumors like that, if you know what's good for you."

"It isn't rumors," insisted Jean, "and I'm not the only one that thinks so. The other day when Connie and I went to use the rec room Hange wouldn't let us pass. She was snickering like a lunatic and—"

"—She's always doing that…so what?"

"—She said something about the captain and commander. She said we couldn't go in because the captain was cleaning up but I don't buy it. Not even Hange would find that hilarious. I think she saw something she didn't want _us_ to see and I think she was covering for the two of them."

Eren tried to imagine Captain Levi and Commander Erwin in a compromising position, but it was difficult. He shook his head. Just because the captain was supposedly sleeping in Erwin's chambers didn't mean…they couldn't _really_ be…could they? Just because Levi was loyal to the man didn't mean they were fucking.

Part of the subject of their conversation was heading down the hallway and Eren's face turned bright pink. The last thing he needed was for Erwin to overhear the speculation. "Just drop it," he muttered in warning as the commander approached. Aloud to Erwin he gave a respectful greeting. "Sir! The dishes are done and the stables are clean! What should we do next?"

Erwin paused to address the question. "I think the captain would say you should take care of the bathrooms next. He's currently indisposed, however. Just follow your intuition and do as you think is best, Eren."

Eren saluted him. "I'll get started on that right away, sir!"

Erwin nodded in satisfaction and he kept going. As he walked away, Jean leaned over to whisper to Eren. "Does all that brown-nosing ever get you anything, Jaeger? Must suck to have the smell of shit up your nose all the time."

"Shut up," gritted Eren. He walked away to take care of his next task, leaving Jean smirking after him. What the hell did _he_ know? Gossiping about their superiors like a nosey idiot. What a loser. As he traversed the hallways of the keep, Eren couldn't get it out of his head, however. Unbidden images flashed through his mind—evidence that supported Jean's theory. Erwin's desperation to rescue Levi from the belly of the titan, his insistence that the captain ride with him afterwards, the silent looks that passed between the two of them and finally, the way the commander rushed off to follow Levi the other day when they got ambushed.

"It's got to be bullshit," muttered Eren as he opened up a cleaning supply closet to gather what he needed. Erwin didn't strike him as the sort of man that was into other guys and Levi…well, Eren half-suspected the captain wasn't capable of lust at all.

 _~But what if that's part of their deal? What if it's not really a relationship but an arrangement?~_

All Eren really knew about their past was that Erwin supposedly dragged Levi kicking and screaming into the Survey Corps. Maybe that was an exaggeration but what if his combat skills weren't the only thing the commander demanded from him? Levi was slight of build and attractive, so Eren could imagine men with that sort of preference going for him. Hell, _Eren_ would have gone for him if he didn't think Levi would wipe the floor with him for trying. Jean would have a party with it if he ever found out Eren harbored a secret attraction to the captain.

With that thought in mind, Eren told himself it was just a crush and he tried to quell the feelings of jealousy that arose. He didn't have a right to think of the captain that way and if Jean was right about Levi's relationship with Erwin, it was all the better reason not to encourage the attraction. Not that the commander came off as the jealous sort but Eren figured he'd better not press his luck.

Carrying the cleaning gear up the stairs, Eren paused when he spotted Erwin's chamber door. Biting his lip, the teenager approached it.

 _~Don't do it. You're just going to get yourself into trouble.~_

Common sense, however, was not his strongest attribute. Overwhelmed by the sudden urge to see what Levi looked like in repose, Erin put down the supplies and he carefully pushed the door further open. His heart pounded and his mouth went dry as he ever so slowly tip-toed into the darkened room. He could make out Levi's form on the bed and he thought the pounding of his heart must surely be loud enough to alert the captain of his presence. Still, he couldn't seem to stop his approach.

Levi's eyes were closed and his shirt was hanging open. Eren looked the slim, toned chest and stomach up and down and he gulped. The captain looked so relaxed and vulnerable. Eren wasn't used to seeing him in this light. He knew that Levi was somewhere in his thirties but he really didn't look much older than Eren. As his gaze traveled down to where the throw dipped low over the older man's hips, Eren's eyes bugged out. It was sticking out. Levi's cock was just peaking out from beneath the cover—just enough for Eren to see the flushed tip of it.

 _~Shit, stop looking at it. Cut it out! If he wakes up and sees you staring you're dead!~_

His eyes would not obey him, however. Nor apparently would his hand. Eren's eyes widened as he watched his own hand inch toward that intriguingly exposed knob of flesh as if it had a mind of its own. He brushed his fingertips over it gently, feeling the silken texture of it. Levi stirred a bit and the boy snatched his hand back as if it had been burned.

 _~I'm crazy. This is crazy. I'd…I'd better go while I still can.~_

"What in the hell are you doing?"

Terrified green eyes met narrowed gray ones and Eren knew that his career with the military was about to come to a devastating, crashing end. When he couldn't find his tongue, Levi sat up with a suspicious expression on his attractive, youthful features.

"I just asked you a question, Jaeger. What are you doing in here?"

"I…I was cleaning," stammered Eren lamely.

One narrow, dark brow lifted. "With what, your tongue? As if your housekeeping skills aren't abysmal enough already."

"The supplies are in th-the hall," managed the teenager. "I thought…I'd ask if you wanted anything specific cleaned, sir."

He was blushing brightly and struggling not to look below Levi's waist. Either the captain wasn't aware that his dick was still exposed or he just didn't care. Maybe he just wasn't modest enough to be bothered by it.

Levi's suspicious expression didn't fade. "You've got some balls just walking in here without announcing yourself. How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long, sir," answered Eren in a rush.

 _~Just long enough to eye-fuck you and feel you up. Oh God, I'm such a dead man. What the hell was I thinking? Did he feel it when I touched him? Does he know?~_

Of course with Levi it was very hard to tell what he was thinking. His sleepy gaze was opaque, giving away nothing of his thoughts. Levi finally seemed to realize his state of undress and he began to button up his shirt. "Just do what you always do…only better. It doesn't do any good for you to clean if I've got to come up behind you and do it again all the time."

The tail end of his statement put more inappropriate thoughts in Eren's head and the teen wondered if Levi had any idea how insinuating his words sounded to him. "Yes sir, I'll do my best. S-sorry to bother you."

Eren dismissed himself after that, fearful that if he stayed any longer he'd give away the monumentally stupid thing he'd done just moments ago.

* * *

"Fuck."

Erwin glanced up from the reports he was writing and he frowned at his captain curiously. He hadn't even heard Levi come in. Levi's hair was damp as if he'd just showered and he was dressed in a casual pair of black pants and a deep green, button-up shirt.

"What'd the reason for this latest expletive?"

"Eren Jaeger," answered Levi. He plopped down in the chair across from Erwin's work desk and he massaged his forehead. "The kid was cleaning and I woke up to find him looming over me."

"In my chambers?" Erwin blinked in surprise. Eren was usually very good about staying out of places he wasn't supposed to be, but he did have an almost compulsive need to please Levi. "What did he want?"

Levi shrugged. "He said he wanted to know if there was anything specific I wanted cleaned, but him sneaking into your room isn't the biggest problem."

Erwin didn't see the issue. "He knew you were in there. I didn't try to hide it from anyone."

"But he was probably wondering why I was half undressed in your bed," Levi pointed out.

Erwin smirked softly. "People do tend to loosen their clothes or undress before going to sleep, Levi. I really don't think you caused any trauma to the boy."

"You idiot," snapped Levi, "are you trying to broadcast that we're an item? Think about why I went on that assassination mission today. Now Eren's seen me half naked in your bed. You don't think that's going to raise some questions?"

"I think you're over-reacting," observed the commander, "and you need to remember that our troops often share beds too. Jaeger probably just thought you'd made yourself comfortable before going to sleep."

Levi sighed and rubbed his knee. "Let's hope so."

"Levi, even if our people figure things out, it isn't the end of the world. It's the public we need to worry about, not our soldiers."

Levi met his eyes. "And what if they can't keep their mouths shut?"

"If it comes to that then we'll deal with it when it happens," insisted Erwin. "Honestly Levi, we only need to keep it hidden until Historia is fully secure on the throne. Once that happens it doesn't matter who knows what you and I do together. Does it bother you more that Eren saw you in such a state or that you let yourself go with me so completely today?"

Levi hesitated. He parted his lips to speak, then shut his mouth abruptly. Erwin smiled at him, guessing what the true answer was. "You'll get used to it eventually," he promised. "You're just not used to pleasure. I fully intend to help you with that."

A slight flush began to creep over Levi's cheeks. "So you plan on training me?"

Erwin nodded calmly. "Absolutely. You're mine now; you said so yourself."

The commander got out of his chair and he circled around the desk to bend over and kiss Levi lingeringly. "And no lover of mine is going to hold himself back from me, understood?"

It took Levi a moment to collect himself to answer. "You might end up regretting it if I ever really cut loose on you."

"I look forward to finding out." Erwin winked at him and he went back to his desk. He started to busy himself with his paperwork again, but then he heard a rustle of movement. He looked up to find Levi standing over him with a strange look in his eye. "What is it?"

Levi turned the blond man's chair, swiveling it to face him. "Why wait to find out? I locked the door when I came into your office."

Erwin dropped his pen with surprise when the smaller man smoothly went to his knees and put his hands on his thighs. "Levi, what are you doing?"

Levi looked up at him with a slight smirk on his lips, and he slid his hands further up Erwin's thighs. "What does it look like? Some things don't need training."

Erwin swallowed as the smaller man cupped his package and gave it a squeeze. "You don't have to do that right now."

What was he saying? He really _was_ an idiot to discourage what he thought Levi was about to do. Erwin stared at the captain's mouth and he imagined what it would feel like around him. It looked like he was about to find out, but he was inwardly worried. Their encounter earlier had been wonderful, but he didn't want the man pushing himself too much and doing something he might not be ready for.

Levi inadvertently echoed his thoughts as he popped the button on his slacks and tugged his fly down. "I told you I was going to pay you back. Besides, I've been wanting to have a look at your dick to see if it's as big as I think it is."

It was Erwin's turn to tense as Levi burrowed his hand into his pants and eased said dick out of the confinement. "You don't waste any time," he breathed, now exposed to Levi's view and gripped in his hand. "Do I pass your inspection, Captain?"

Levi was staring at the thick, hardening length in his hand and he gave it a couple of strokes. It grew steadily until it was fully erect and he looked back up at Erwin with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "How do you even ride with this thing between your legs, commander?"

"Very carefully," chuckled Erwin breathlessly. He bit back a groan when Levi lowered his mouth to it and licked the bulbous head sensually. It was a teasing gesture and Erwin gripped the edge of his seat when he did it a second time. God, that mouth…he should have guessed someone with such a vulgar tongue would be talented in this area. His breath caught when Levi slowly sucked it into his mouth and glanced up at him again.

"That's…that's very good, Levi," Erwin encouraged huskily. His vision lost focus when the other man sucked more of it in, only to pull back and do it again. Lips tightly sealed around the girth of it, Levi started sucking him off with a steady, confident rhythm. He wasn't shy about slurping either, and Erwin watched in fascination as his saliva-coated arousal pumped in and out of Levi's mouth. He jerked a little when the other man unexpectedly scraped his teeth gently against the slit in the tip, sending a jolt through his pelvis.

Damn it, did he say it was only _good_? It was heavenly. Levi turned his head at a different angle, varying his technique a bit in the manner of a pro that knew exactly how to find what felt best. Erwin's thighs clenched and his breath came out faster and harsher with each passing moment. He jerked again when Levi released the shaft with a wet pop and sucked on his balls. As he did this, he gripped his cock and stroked it firmly.

"Unh…ahh," groaned Erwin in surprise. Nobody had ever done _that_ for him before. He began to roll his hips as the sweet torture continued for a while, and after a few moments Levi took his length back into his mouth. His head bobbed up and down a little faster and he put more suction into it.

"Le…vi," groaned Erwin warningly, "I'm getting close…You might want to…"

Levi did pause, but only to grip the base of the shaft firmly. "Not yet," he insisted. "I'm not finished with you yet by a long-shot."

Then, still squeezing the base to prevent Erwin from coming, Levi resumed. The commander's head fell back and he ran his fingers through Levi's soft, dark hair. "Shit," he panted, twitching helplessly in the smaller man's sucking mouth. He was going to end up sounding like Levi soon if this kept up. Erwin wasn't very generous with his use of swear words but Levi's oral skills were soon going to cause exceptions to that rule. Erwin tried not to pull his hair as his persistent suckling put him in a state of near-mindless bliss. Another oath escaped him when the smaller man sucked on his balls again.

Levi kept at it until Erwin had broken into a sweat and couldn't seem to stop his rough, low groans. Finally he seemed content to give him release and he took Erwin's cock deep down his throat, swallowing continuously. Erwin bucked in his mouth, his hips lifting off the chair as it happened and he unloaded down Levi's throat

"Ahhh…hunhh!" It was a good, hard orgasm. Panting roughly, Erwin stroked Levi's hair and looked down at him as the smaller man let his softening length slide out of his mouth. He looked up at Erwin with smug satisfaction in his gray eyes.

"Not bad," observed Levi. "Your cum isn't as bitter and salty as most."

Flushed and pleasantly relaxed now, Erwin didn't really know how to respond to that. Even now, Levi's candor could throw him off guard. "Thanks," he finally managed. "I must be doing something right with my diet."

"Mmm." Levi kissed the tip of his cock one last time and then he tucked it back in to his pants. "Keep it up."

"I will," promised Erwin. He traced the smaller man's lips with his fingertips. "That was possibly the best blow job I've ever had in my life."

"Only 'possibly'? I Guess I need to try harder next time." Levi got to his feet and he brushed off his pants absently. "Well, I think I made my point for now. I'd best go and see how the cleaning is coming along."

"Try not to be too hard on them," suggested Erwin, "and Levi, don't worry about the squad's impression of you sleeping in my chambers. They're good, loyal soldiers and they would never do anything that might hurt our situation more than it's already hurting."

"Let's hope you're right," sighed Levi.

* * *

Levi made his rounds and when he got to Eren to check on his progress, the boy jumped skittishly and blushed madly. The captain frowned at him, again stricken by suspicion that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Why hadn't the kid announced himself before coming into Erwin's chambers? Eren could be reckless and stupid but there was usually a decent enough reason behind it. Levi knew he was no thief so he didn't even consider the possibility that he stole something.

"Just what is _with_ you today, Eren?" He asked, tugging down the scarf covering his mouth. "You're acting especially strange."

"S-sorry Captain," said the boy with a salute, slapping the wet cloth he was using against his chest. "I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"About what?" demanded Levi. He narrowed his eyes and glanced back at the hallway to be sure they had no audience, and then he abruptly grabbed Erin's shirt and he pushed him against the wall. "Don't fuck with me kid. What were you _really_ doing in the commander's room earlier?"

"Erp…I…I just wanted to check on you, sir." The boy's emerald green eyes were wide and anxious. "They said you came back from your mission with blood on your cloak, so I thought maybe you got hurt, okay?"

Levi's tension ebbed a little, but something still wasn't right with this story. "So you crept in to just look at me?"

Eren nodded, his gaze pleading with him to believe him. "Yes sir. When you woke up I just panicked a little. I didn't mean to bother you and you woke up really fast."

"Hmm." Levi released him and stepped back. It was then that he noticed the way Eren's gaze kept slipping from his face to his torso—and lower. So _that_ was it. So much for Erwin's theory that he hadn't traumatized the guy with his nudity. It was almost funny. In fact, Levi's mouth twitched with a warning hint of a smile and he tugged his handkerchief back up over his mouth and nose to conceal it.

"I've got nothing you don't have, Eren. Stop looking at me like I'm a titan getting ready to bite you in half."

"I didn't mean…I wasn't staring," protested the boy even as his gaze wandered again. "I just can't make my stupid eyes cooperate!"

Levi rolled his eyes. "Try harder. You'd think you've never seen another man's chest before, the way you're acting."

"I didn't just see your chest," admitted Eren softly. "The uh…cover slipped kind of low."

He blushed all over again and he looked at his feet. "That's more than I expected to ever see of you, Captain. I'm really not a pervert; it just took me by surprise."

Levi stared at him and Eren looked up from the floor and met his eyes. It was then that the captain finally realized the truth of it. That wasn't the look of someone horrified over seeing his captain naked; it was a look of—oh, shit. The kid was infatuated with him and Levi had apparently accidentally flashed his cock at him.

"Suddenly I feel sorry for Mikasa," Levi stated. He saw Eren's pupils dilate and he knew he'd hit the nail on the head. He needed to nip this in the bud right now and he didn't have time to be gentle about it.

"Listen Eren; I'm old enough to be your dad. Even if I weren't, I'm not available. I think you probably know that."

"Sir, I'm not—"

"Shut up," snapped Levi. "You already gave it away." In fact Levi was surprised he'd never picked up on it before. Maybe it was a new development. Teen hormones could be like that and with any luck, it was just a phase.

"I didn't want this to happen," defended Eren, starting to get frustrated. "Do you think I _want_ to have feelings like this for you? It _should_ have been Mikasa! I know that! I've tried not to make it obvious because I know it's fucked up and wrong!"

Levi sighed. "You're only confused. It'll pass. Soldiers form bonds and sometimes it can feel like something else. That's all."

"It's not something else," answered Eren morosely. "If it were, it should have gone away by now. I guess you must get a lot of people crushing on you."

Levi shook his head. "No, because I'm abrasive on my best days. Anyone that crushes on me is screwed."

Eren gave a shy little smile. "Even the commander?"

Levi nodded. " _Especially_ him, but he's probably the only one that deserved having to put up with my shit."

Eren lowered his gaze again. "You…aren't going to tell him, are you?"

"No reason to," answered Levi. "Like I said; it's going to pass. At your age these things usually do."

"I don't know about that," replied Eren. "Especially now."

Levi was trying to let him down easy for some reason he couldn't fathom, but Eren's persistence with the subject was wearing thin. Levi went to the door that separated the attic room from the stairs and hallway, and he abruptly shut it. Eren looked understandably confused and wary as the captain approached again and yanked his handkerchief down.

"Let's settle this now then," said Levi.

Eren looked like he was bracing for a blow—and Levi couldn't blame him for that. What the captain intended however was to prove to the boy that what he felt wasn't real. He grabbed Eren's shoulders and he pulled him into a kiss. For a moment the young man didn't budge a muscle, clearly taken by surprise. Levi rudely pried Eren's mouth open and thrust his tongue in. That seemed to snap Eren out of his daze and what happened next surprised the hell out of Levi.

He'd had the idea that thinking of kissing him and doing it were two different things for Eren, and it would shock some sense into him if it actually happened. Instead of recoiling as expected, however, the teen pushed Levi up against the wall and kissed him back. It was sloppy and inexperienced but the raw passion in it made Levi think he didn't plan this through very well. Eren's hands settled on his ass and gave it a squeeze, his teeth scraping against Levi's as he ravished his mouth.

 _~Shit, this isn't good.~_

He'd clearly misjudged Jaeger's sincerity and now he could feel the kid's crotch digging into his hip. To make matters worse, he was getting into the same state himself. Levi made a mental note not to underestimate the lust of a teenager in the future and he shoved Eren away before it could get even more out of hand. The young man was breathing heavily and he stared at Levi like he wanted to devour him—and not the way a titan would.

"Well?" prompted Levi, trying to ignore the throb in his own crotch. At least the apron hid it from view. "See, it's nothing."

"It isn't going away," breathed Eren. His eyes roamed over Levi in a very adult manner. "I want you, sir. That just made it stronger."

"Tch, you're an idiot."

 _~And so am I. Damn it, what was I thinking? This was the dumbest plan I've ever come up with.~_

There was no help for it now, though. He'd made an error in judgment and now the kid was staring at him like he was the hottest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"Go take a cold shower," suggested Levi. "I was trying to prove a point, not give you an invitation."

He left the room then, not bothering to wait and see Eren's reaction. Cursing himself inwardly the whole time, Levi made for the stairs and he decided he needed to re-evaluate his frame of mind. Lately he seemed to be making uncommonly reckless choices and he didn't know if that was because of his close call with the titan or if he was just starting to lose his mind. First, however, he had to confess his stupidity to Erwin. Now that Levi had just made things worse, the commander was sure to pick up on it eventually and Levi wasn't in the habit of keeping things from him.

* * *

-To be continued


	5. Chapter 5

Erwin was just finishing up his reports when Levi again joined him in his office. The commander glanced up at him as he reached for his drink. "That was quick. I expected not to see you again until dinnertime."

"I didn't finish my rounds," explained Levi. He had a sort of dazed, troubled look on his face that Erwin wasn't used to seeing. The captain sat down in the same chair he'd been in earlier and he stared out the window.

"Is something wrong?" prompted Erwin. He started sipping his tea.

Levi looked directly at him. "Yes. Eren Jaeger apparently finds me attractive."

Erwin nodded. "I know."

Levi's brows furrowed. "You know. _How_ did you know when I didn't?"

Erwin chuckled. "Intuition. You should know that by now. He's really subtle with it, though. I only started to notice it a few weeks ago. It's harmless, Levi."

"I wouldn't say that," muttered Levi. "Why didn't you say something about it?"

Erwin shrugged. "I thought you might have already known and I didn't want to call attention to it and give you the wrong idea."

"About what?" Demanded Levi. "There's no 'wrong idea' to be had about it."

"I meant about me," explained Erwin. "I didn't want you thinking I was upset over it."

"Well I think you're about to be," answered Levi ominously.

Erwin frowned a bit, pausing with his drink to his lips. "Why would I be? He wouldn't dare make a move on you."

"No, but I made one on him."

Erwin choked on his tea. "You…what? When?"

"Just now. The stupid kid wouldn't stop eye-fucking me after seeing me half-naked and when I realized what was really going on I decided he was just confused. I thought I'd do him a favor and I kissed him." He said it dispassionately, the way he would speak when talking about his past in the underground city.

Erwin wiped his mouth off. "By _coming on_ to him? How in the hell does that logic work?"

"I wasn't trying to turn him on, you idiot," snapped Levi. He stood up and went to the window, putting his hands on his hips. "I thought it would clear up any confusion and he'd realize he's not really interested in me. I thought it was just misplaced hero worship."

Erwin could see how Levi might think that, but his method of dealing with it was questionable at best. "I need to absorb this," said the commander, getting up. He paced in a circle and then stopped to look at him. Levi kept staring out the window. "So then, you kissed him. What was the result?"

Levi finally glanced at him. "Not what I expected. Are you going to make me say it?"

Erwin compressed his lips. "I think I need to hear it, Levi."

The captain looked out the window again. "He liked it. A little too much. I had to shove him off of me."

Erwin wondered just how long Levi let it go on before he did that—but he really hadn't been gone for long so it couldn't have lasted longer than a few moments. He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing the careful grooming he'd done today. "I'm trying to understand, Levi. What made you think that kissing a boy who's developed a crush on you would fix the issue? That's the opposite of what you should have done."

"No shit," sighed Levi.

Erwin crossed the room to him. "Look at me."

Levi raised his gaze obediently and stared into his eyes.

"Did you at any point want something to happen between you two?"

Levi shook his head. "No."

Erwin braced himself for the answer to his next question. "Did you enjoy it?"

"For a brief moment, yes. It was reflexive. Don't ask me why I thought it was a good idea. I acted on assumption and obviously my instincts were wrong."

"To hear you admit that your instincts were wrong doesn't fill me with a lot of confidence in your judgment." Erwin cupped his chin. "I'm not going to fly into a jealous rage. I just need to know that your decision-making abilities aren't compromised."

"I came to you right away, didn't I?" Levi almost looked contrite.

"Yes, and I appreciate that…I think. I'm just trying to understand why you took that action to begin with. After what's passed between us, I have to wonder if there's something deeper to it than trying to prove to Eren that his attraction isn't real."

"What else would it be about?" Levi's tone suggested he was getting impatient, but Erwin had a feeling he was confused. He thought about the conversations they'd recently had and he hoped that his hunch was right.

"I don't think it was just about Eren. I think it was partly about us."

" _Now_ who's not making sense?" snorted Levi.

"You hate losing your composure," reminded Erwin. "You're used to being completely in control of yourself and earlier today I took that away from you. Maybe it was too soon after your experience for me to do that."

"If it was about losing control I wouldn't have told you to cuff me," reasoned Levi. "Your logic is as flawed as mine, Erwin."

The blond man smirked in spite of the situation. "Not if you take into account the _reason_ you asked me to handcuff you. It was out of the fear you would hurt me. You wanted control taken from you so that you wouldn't have the chance to lose it yourself."

Levi blinked. He started to speak and then he stopped and stared thoughtfully at him. "Let's say I go along with that," he said grudgingly. "What does it have to do with Eren?"

"It's simple. You were trying to take back control of a situation that made you uncomfortable. I know how you think, Levi. As frustrated as I am with your way of dealing with it, you acted decisively if not logically. You were acting to put a soldier in his place."

Erwin's slight smile was more genuine as he put his hand on Levi's shoulder. "Just don't make a habit of it. I can't have you going around kissing our squad members to keep them in line—although I have a feeling more of them than just Jaeger would like that."

Levi's expression softened a little. "So you aren't mad?"

"To be honest I'm frustrated...but not angry. We just established that we're a couple in the same day you decided to kiss some teenager…but I'm sure it wasn't your intention to be unfaithful."

"It wasn't," agreed Levi with a sigh that might have been relief, "and when I realized it was backfiring I made it clear to Eren that it wasn't an invitation. He's got no reason to believe it will happen again."

"As long as he's clear on that," answered the commander in satisfaction. "I don't care if he daydreams about you or stares at you—I don't blame him for that—but I'm the only one that gets to kiss you from now on. Clear?"

Levi smirked. "Yes sir."

* * *

And stare he did—but only when he had a reason to be looking at him. Eren did indeed seem to get the message and all it took was a warning glance from Levi to make him look away when he showed too much interest. A couple of days went by and Levi's appetite finally started to improve again. He could once more eat solid food without gagging, though it still took him longer to get through meals than it used to. There were no further assassination attempts, but Erwin still made a command decision that nobody was to travel alone until he knew beyond a doubt that the threat was gone.

They were still searching out members of the disbanded enemy military faction, including Kenny Ackerman. The man seemed to have vanished and Levi suggested they expand the search to the underground city.

"It's where he came from in the first place," he reasoned to Hange and Erwin as they sat down to plan out further investigation. "If he's not holed up in one of the above ground areas you can bet he's down there regrouping."

Erwin nodded. "Along with any supporters he has left. There hasn't been any news of criminal activity from that area that match descriptions of them, however. If they are down there, they're lying low."

"I'm more concerned about our titan 'friends' making another grab for Eren," mused Hange. "It's been too quiet since they vanished. I'm also itching to study them. We've come so far in understanding the titans and learning where they came from. I feel like we're at a standstill again."

"One thing at a time," advised Levi. "The damage to the walls are repaired now, so our main goal should be to take care of the danger still within them. Worry about dealing with Ymir and the others later."

"We still need to attempt to get Eren to his old house, too," reminded Erwin. "Some answers may be there."

"I'm starting to think that's a lost cause," said Levi. "Even if we get the kid to his house, he said it's been reduced to rubble. What can we find in that mess that could be of any use?"

"Research notes," answered Hange. "Left behind by his father. We could find out exactly what the formula is to make people into titans. It's too bad we had to get out of that cavern before I could get my hands on the sample they had."

Levi looked at her with a frown. "Planning on making some titans of your own?"

Hange shrugged and smiled. "It would be a lot easier to have various subjects to study. Eren is great but the titans each have different abilities. Having various subjects to study would help things along nicely."

"Or it could help get a lot of people killed," Levi pointed out. "There's no guarantee that any new titans you make would be able to control themselves, even if they don't turn on us."

"That's true, but you could always take them down if that happens, Captain."

Levi snorted. "That's a pointless gamble."

Erwin exchanged a glance with Hange. "Well, since we currently have no means by which to try that idea, let's just focus on the anti-human squad remaining. I'll deploy a group to the underground city to seek out any information they can. Levi, you're familiar with the place. You'll lead the team."

Levi nodded. "Yes sir."

Erwin turned to Hange. "In the meantime, just keep researching with Eren and learn what you can."

She nodded. "Right."

* * *

A short while later, Levi barged into Erwin's office again.

"You assigned Eren to my search team?"

Erwin nodded calmly. "I did."

"Why? You know the enemy faction kidnapped him. Are you trying to drop him right into their hands again? Why not giftwrap him while you're at it."

Erwin looked up at the captain. "The man responsible for organizing that is gone now."

Levi clicked his tongue. "That doesn't mean they won't try it again if they're down below and they recognize him. He's valuable and they know it."

Erwin scratched his chin in thought. "Maybe I'm testing you."

Levi's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me you think I'm gong to make out with the brat while we're down there in the middle of a mission, because that's—"

"—Idiotic," finished Erwin for him. "I know. That isn't what I meant. I need to be sure you don't get reckless and having him in the party might ensure that."

Levi shook his head. "It's a bad idea, Erwin."

"Then it seems we're both coming up with those when it comes to Eren Jaeger. This is my decision, Captain. Are you going to keep questioning me?"

The other man shook his head and sighed. "No sir. That's all I have to say."

Erwin watched as he turned to go and he got up out of his chair to catch Levi by the arm. "Levi, I do trust you. You know that."

"I'm starting to wonder." Levi gazed into his eyes searchingly. "If you trust me then why test me?"

"Because you're still not quite yourself." Erwin touched his jaw with a light caress. "Do you recall the rage you clung to for months after your friends from the underground city after the three of you joined the corps?"

Levi averted his gaze. "Frequently. This isn't the same, though."

"Maybe not exactly," Erwin said with some regret for bringing that time in Levi's life up again, "but it could become that way. I know you Levi, and I've seen that rage come back out more than a few times since then. You seem to have a grasp on it now so that it's not a blind rage when you channel it, but it's still in you. If something triggers it again and you lose your hold on it—"

"I won't," insisted Levi, "and you're making me sound like I turned into a serial killer. I took down five titans that killed my friends."

"And you threatened to kill me when I arrived on the scene," reminded Erwin.

Levi nodded, lowering his gaze. "As far as I was concerned we wouldn't have been there if it weren't for you...but you talked sense back into my head."

Erwin bent over to kiss Levi on the crown of his head. "I just don't want to see you get like that again and end up killed. If I have to use Eren Jaeger as incentive for caution, then that's what I'll do. Just complete the mission, keep everyone safe and report back any findings."

Levi nodded. "Of course. Try not to get into too much trouble while we're gone, old man."

* * *

Levi rode out with Erin and basically what was left of the 104th squadron. Only new recruits, Erwin and Hange remained behind. The rest of the senior officers had been assigned to assist with keeping the peace behind the third wall. Once the captain and his team were gone, Erwin went back inside to the infirmary. Hange was waiting for him there and she held in her hands a metallic syringe. Erwin looked at it a bit warily. "You're sure this is it?"

Hange nodded. "The notes were concise and thanks to Eren, we have the shifter element we need."

Retrieving those notes from Rod Reiss' estate hadn't been easy, even with Historia's help. She and Hange had to search every nook and cranny and they almost missed the concealed door that hid the lab. Erwin kept staring at the syringe, looking at it like it was some relic that could bring either hope or doom. That was in essence what it was, though. He hadn't even told Levi about it yet because he didn't know whether Hange could get the formula right. Levi's reactions when he and Hange tested the waters with him earlier hadn't been favorable, so he decided it was best not to inform him until it succeeded. He looked at the stretcher and he slowly began to remove his jacket.

"Then let's get this over with."

"You're sure about this Erwin?" Hange for once looked more trepidatious than excited.

"I trust you," he answered. He held out his arm so that she could roll the sleeve up. "Are you sure it won't happen without sunlight, though?"

"Based on all my past research and what we've learned so far, yes," answered Hange.

Erwin nodded and he watched as she wiped his arm with a sterile gauze and applied the tourniquet. She tapped for a vein and she glanced at him once more. "Here we go. Commander I..."

"It's going to work," insisted Erwin.

"In theory," she sighed.

"If something goes wrong, you know what to do."

Hange closed her eyes briefly and she nodded. "Good luck, Erwin."

The needle went in and he felt the burn all the way up his arm. He laid down and he stared up at the ceiling while Hange monitored his vitals and checked his pupils. "He's going to kill me," predicted Erwin.

Hange glanced at him in puzzlement, and then she realized he was talking about Levi. She smiled and patted Erwin's hand. "Oh, no he won't. He'll probably just beat the hell out of you."

"Thank you, that's very comforting."

* * *

They made it to the underground city and Levi instructed his team to split up a bit. "Let's not make the mistake of moving around in one big cluster. Eren, you stay close to me. The rest of you take to the rooftops on either side of us and follow us that way. We'll stay on the ground for now and take point. Keep a watch out for anyone using maneuvering gear that isn't wearing a scout uniform, understand?"

They gave him their affirmation and they split up into two groups. Mikasa with Armin, Sasha and Connie with Jean. "Keep your hood pulled low," Levi advised of Eren. He did the same to lessen the chances of being recognized by the wrong people. Not that he had any acquaintances down here any longer—at least none he could call friendly.

He directed them down familiar streets to a tavern he knew that Kenny once frequented and he smirked humorlessly when Eren made an observation.

"Place looks kind of shady."

Levi glanced at him sidelong and he raised a brow. "Everywhere in this shit-hole is shady. Welcome to the slums."

Eren was giving him that _look_ again and the captain eyeballed him. "Quit. Now. Don't make me kick your ass."

The boy hastily looked away and ahead. "Sorry."

Levi rolled his eyes. Erwin had claimed to trust him but he still had the suspicion that he'd assigned Eren to his group as a covert sort of punishment for his blunder the other day. "After you," he said to Eren. "Just keep your head down and your mouth shut. I'll do all the talking."

Eren nodded and went in through the door first. Levi followed and he turned to give a signal to the group on the roof across the street. They relayed it to the opposite group and he was satisfied that they would keep low and wait. He grabbed Eren's cloak to stop him from getting too far ahead of him. "Stay close," he reminded the teenager.

The captain immediately cast a look around for any recognizable faces or weapons in the crowd. Finding none visible, he cast his hood back and walked up to the bar. His boots hardly made a sound on the dusty wooden floor. "I'm looking for someone," he informed the bartender. He could feel eyes on him—some merely curious and others unfriendly. The bartender glanced up from the glass he was half-heartedly wiping and his eyes widened when they fell on Levi's face.

"You...you're that captain of—"

Levi reached over the bar—which was a bit of a task because of its height and his own shortness—and he grabbed the man's dirty shirt collar to yank him forward. Vaguely thankful that he was wearing gloves, he glared at the older man.

"Don't waste my time. I said I'm looking for someone."

Levi heard steel being drawn and he put his free hand on his blade as he glanced at the direction where the noise came from. Spotting the glint of a dagger, he looked its owner in the eye warningly. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

The young man wisely replaced the weapon, and Levi returned his attention to the bartender. "He's tall, lanky and obnoxious," he continued. He described Kenny's other attributes. "I know this was one of his favorite hangouts. If you've seen him, you're better off letting me know."

The bartender shook his head. "No sir, I know who you're talking about but I haven't seen him around here for months."

Levi glanced around at the other patrons. "What about the rest of you? Does that description sound familiar?"

Nobody spoke up. Levi shrugged and roughly released the bartender. "I'll be back, and if I find out you've lied to me it's your ass."

Nudging his companion, Levi started to stalk out. Unfortunately someone else in the crowd decided he wanted to prove something. He sensed the threat before it even came close and he turned with a perfectly bored expression on his face. He caught his attacker's wrist to block his knife, twisted his arm and kneed him in the face as he bent over. Another one rushed at him and he was prepared to deal with them too, but Eren beat him to it. The kid kicked him in the stomach and then went down with him, pummeling his face with one fist while holding him down by the throat with his other hand. Something came flying across the room and Levi ducked to avoid it, realizing it was a chair.

"Really?" he muttered, shaking his head. For a moment he'd thought they weren't going to get a brawl out of this, but his hunch proved right after all.

* * *

"I wonder what's going on in there," whispered Armin to Mikasa. They'd heard a ruckus but they couldn't see through the dingy windows to tell what was happening.

Beside him, Mikasa was tense and she'd put her hands on her gear triggers. "I'm going in."

"But the captain signaled us to wait here," reminded Armin. "I'm sure it's okay. There hasn't been any gunfire so I doubt any of the enemy squad members are in there."

She pursed her lips and stared with concerned gray eyes. "They have two minutes and if they don't come out, to hell with orders."

Armin sighed and he willed his friend and their captain to hurry it up, before Mikasa got herself in trouble. He relaxed a moment later when the door opened up and Levi came walking out with Erin. Armin squinted and his eyes widened when he caught a glimpse of the chaos inside the tavern. He couldn't make out many details but it looked like there were bodies strewn everywhere. Eren was shaking his fist in a painful manner and Levi stepped casually over one of the groaning men on the floor.

"What...why did they...so much for keeping low!" Armin jumped down off the roof with Mikasa, and the others did the same. "Sir! What happened?"

"Keep your voice down and stop sounding so dramatic," ordered Levi. "Walk. This way."

They followed Levi down a side street and into an alleyway. Mikasa spoke up as soon as they were out of the open. "I thought we were supposed to be doing this quietly, sir."

"I said for you all to keep a low profile," corrected Levi. "I didn't say anything about doing my part of it quietly."

"So what happened?" Jean asked.

The captain shrugged and he squatted down to wipe blood off of his right boot with a piece of cloth. "Drunken stupidity. Flying chairs. Eren turning some guy's face into mince meat."

"But word's probably going to get out that we're looking for these guys," reasoned Armin.

"Yes, it is," agreed Levi, "along with a description of me. Consider it a carrot."

"Oooh," Connie said, snapping his fingers. "I get it. When Ackerman hears you're down here looking for him _he's_ probably going to come looking for _you_ to get the jump on you."

"Congratulations." Levi brushed some dust off his cloak. "You've cracked my code. Now, let's get moving again. We have other places to hit. All of you get back to the roofs except for Eren."

They obeyed and Eren started to suck on his knuckles as he fell back into step with Levi. The captain stopped him. "Don't do that. We don't need you going titan on us down here."

"But I wasn't even thinking of that," protested Eren. "The intention has to be there, otherwise every time I get a cut or bruise I'd turn into my titan form."

"Hmm, so you're starting to work it all out. Just no biting."

Eren nodded. "Yes sir."

* * *

Unfortunately the captain's efforts to lure the enemy out proved fruitless. Either they weren't in the underground city as he'd suspected or they were still laying low and buying their time. Levi was frustrated with that, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. It was nearly midnight by the time he and his weary squad returned to the fort. All he wanted to do was eat, take a bath and go to bed. First however, he had to report to Erwin.

Tugging off his gloves, he started to remove his cloak and loosen his gear before he even made it up the stairs. He stopped by his room to drop them off first and then he went to the commander's room down the hallway. He knocked on the door before twisting the knob, and he found himself greeted by a strange and confusing sight. Erwin was there in bed, and Hange was sitting by his side in one of the wooden chairs with her medical bag open. The commander looked pale and there was a damp cloth on his forehead.

"What's with him?" Levi demanded, striding across the room quickly. His first thought was food poisoning, because as far as he knew Erwin had nothing going on today except for inspections and the usual duties.

Hange looked up at Levi, and the somber expression on her face alarmed him even more. "Levi, there's something I've got to tell you."

He didn't immediately acknowledge her comment. Instead he leaned over Erwin and he tried to rouse him. "Erwin? What did you get into?" He lightly smacked the blond's cheeks. "Wake up."

"Captain, please. It's important that you leave him be and listen."

Levi looked up from Erwin's face and he stared at her. "Fine. Talk."

Hange sighed and she dabbed Erwin's forehead again. "Do you remember what we talked about concerning the creation of shifters and battle titans from humans?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Yes. We don't have the formula or the details, right?"

She winced. "Actually, that isn't entirely true. Look."

She tugged down the right side of the covers and some additional sheets to show Levi the commander's stump—which was bigger now. Levi stared at it closely and he could see new bone and muscle tissue growing. He straightened up slowly and his eyes widened. Even as he watched, new tendons slowly began to creep over the exposed bone. Levi looked at Hange and the only thing he could think of to say was: "What have you done?"

He vaulted over the bed and he grabbed her by her lab coat. "What did you do?"

"It was his choice!" She gestured at Erwin's unconscious form. "I did what he asked me to do."

Levi scowled and let go of her. He looked down at his lover and he scrubbed a hand through his hair. "How long has this been planned?"

Hange hesitated and Levi snapped a glare on her. "About a week," she admitted, "ever since I made the formula. We got it from the Reiss estate with Historia's help."

Still reeling from what this meant, Levi looked at Erwin again. "Why didn't either of you tell me?"

She sighed. "Because Erwin knew that something could go wrong. The formula that I replicated from the research notes is what allows titans to shift into human form and vice-versa."

"So he's not going to remember shit when he wakes up, just like Eren."

"He could possibly suffer amnesia for a while," Hange admitted, "but it was a risk he was willing to take. You don't need me to tell you why, Levi. The commander's ultimate goal is to protect humanity. I don't think that's going to change. He's a stubborn one like you...you'll see."

Levi swallowed and he tried not to think of what would happen if Erwin couldn't recall his past when he woke up...and what if he turned on them? "Is that why he sent us on a wild goose chase today? So he could fuck around with this without us finding out?"

"He also didn't want Eren here in case he woke up hostile and tried to attack him," she answered, "only...he hasn't woken up yet. The regeneration of his arm is taking longer than expected. I think it's because the formula works differently for each person. It activates latent titan powers in humans and for some it takes longer than others."

Levi's head was spinning. He looked down at Erwin and his hands clenched into fists. He remembered him making a joke that he might grow his arm back one day, but Levi never expected _this_. Maybe he should have, now that he thought of it. He thought of Erwin's strange reaction when Hange said that titans were human once.

"Damn it," he swore. "Erwin, you..."

For some reason he couldn't even bring himself to call him an idiot. Not right now. The man hadn't exactly _lied_ to him about anything. He just chose to keep it to himself—but that was almost as bad. "Will he survive this?"

"His vital signs are weak but steady," replied Hange. She looked at Erwin and bit her lip. "He _has_ to survive, don't you think?"

Levi didn't answer that part. He'd seen too many comrades go down. He might even have to be the one to kill Erwin if things did go bad. "Do what you can for him," he said evenly, "make sure he lives because as soon as he wakes up, I'm beating the shit out of him."

He walked out then, feeling that old rage boiling up again. He understood Erwin's reasoning and he knew how many sacrifices the man had already made in the name of humanity. It didn't stop his anger, though.

* * *

In the early hours of the morning before the sun even began its climb to the sky, Levi awoke with terrible nightmares. Nightmares about his past, about collecting the bodies of his companions, about being swallowed by the titan—but it was the final nightmare that actually made him come awake with a cry. He sat up in his bed wide-eyed in the dark as that last horrible vestige lingered in his mind. He'd dreamed that he had to kill Erwin. He couldn't recall exactly what his titan form looked like, except that it resembled him. He swallowed and he tried to still his trembling, calling on the calm that had carried him through so many battles in the past.

Climbing out of his bed, he went to his robe hanging on the door. The white material covered his nudity and the criss-crossing, faint marks on his thighs and hips from years of using the 3D gear. Tying the robe closed, he walked out of his bedroom and down the hall to Erwin's chambers. He opened the door and walked in quietly, spotting his commander's form in the bed. Hange was still there, and she'd dozed off in the chair. She'd left a lamp going for some light—probably in case she needed to give him medical attention.

Levi walked over to her and he shook her by the shoulder. "Wake up, Hange."

"Unnhh...wha-?" She rubbed her eyes, incidentally pushing her glasses crooked. "Oh," she yawned, "Hi Captain. What time is it?"

"Before dawn," he answered. "Go to bed. I'll stay with him."

She looked over at Erwin, and then back up at Levi. "Okay. You know how to use a medical syrette, right?"

He nodded.

"Then I'll leave the case in here. If he wakes up in pain, you can dose him."

"Fine."

Hange stood up and she stretched a bit. "I think you just being here will help him."

Levi crossed his arms and glanced down at Erwin's shadowed face. "Hmph. He looks a little less pale. How's the arm coming along?"

She lifted the covering to show him. "See for yourself. It's down past the elbow now. I think it should be fully grown and functional by this afternoon."

Levi had a look. Yes, it was steadily growing back. It was going to be interesting explaining that to their squadron—provided the worst didn't happen. He sighed and he took Hange's place in the chair beside the bed when she got out of it.

"Goodnight Levi," she said as she went to the door. "Come and get me if you need me."

He nodded. When she was gone, he closed his eyes and he started to think about when he and Erwin first met. He'd been quietly impressed with the man from the beginning, but he didn't let him know that until much later. Levi heard a low groan issue from the bed and he opened his eyes and turned his head to see movement beneath the covers. Standing up, he looked around for the cloth and water and he fetched it. from just beside the chair. He wrung it out and he dabbed at Erwin's forehead and face the way he'd seen Hange doing it. He wasn't used to being a caregiver so it was a bit awkward for him.

"Quit making so much noise," he muttered when Erwin groaned again. "You sound like a bull."

Evidently the commander couldn't hear him or couldn't comprehend. Levi sat down on the left side of the bed and he debated on whether he should give him something for pain, or if those noises were just results of a fever dream.

"Damn you," he murmured, his expression softening as the sounds of distress troubled him. He started to get up and retrieve one of the syrette packages, but Erwin's next sound gave him pause.

"L-Levi," whispered the commander.

Levi froze. His gaze flicked back to Erwin and he realized his eyes weren't open. He'd said his name in his sleep. Hange's words about his presence being comforting to Erwin came back to the captain and he leaned over the blond man to speak softly to him.

"I'm here. Don't know if you can hear me, but..."

Levi squirmed onto the bed beside him and he hesitated a moment before cuddling up to him. "You're the only one I'd do this for," he whispered into Erwin's left ear, "and I'm _still_ kicking your ass as soon as you recover enough to survive it. Just...recover."

Erwin turned his face towards him and he sighed, settling down right away. Levi brushed the bigger man's sweat-dampened blond locks away from his forehead and he laid his cheek on his good shoulder. With a sigh he closed his eyes, draping an arm around Erwin's midsection. The anger could wait for a more appropriate time, he decided.

"Oh, and don't even think of trying to swallow me if and when you do transform," warned Levi sleepily. "I've got my limits."

* * *

-To be continued


	6. Chapter 6

"Sir, is the commander okay?"

Levi glanced up from the tea he was serving for himself and he found himself looking at every face in the remaining 104th squad. "What makes you ask?"

Armin stepped forward, ever the diplomat of the group. "Well, when we got back last night some of the new recruits said they saw Hange helping him up the stairs to his room. He looked a little pale?"

"He drank too much," Levi said flatly. "Don't worry."

They all looked a little dubious and he picked up his cup of tea and stared them down. "Is there anything else?"

"No sir," Connie said quickly. "Uh, we'll just get back to breakfast now."

Levi sipped his tea and he nodded.

 _~Nosey brats...but I guess it's natural for them to worry. We're down to a trickle and with Erwin pulling that stupid stunt and being seen looking like hell...~_

Speaking of Erwin, it was probably time for Levi to go and check on him. It was getting to be late morning. Levi carried his tea out of the kitchen, not bothering to get anything to eat. Everyone was having a late start today except for the newer recruits. Hange was still asleep.

As he passed through the mess hall, Levi saw the girl he'd rescued. She was off sitting alone as she tried to eat and her hand shook when she spooned up some oatmeal. He sighed and he walked over to her. He didn't say anything; he just stood over her and he watched her expectantly. Sensing his shadow falling over her, Lori glanced up, bit her lip at his stare and she seemed to steel herself. When she took a bite and then another after that, Levi nodded in satisfaction and walked away.

When he made it into Erwin's room he had a seat in the chair by the bed, and as he sipped his tea he spoke aloud to the sleeping man. "There's a lot to do around here and the kids have been asking about you. Just so you know, I told them you got drunk last night. That was stupid of you to take that injection _before_ getting to your room."

He glanced at Erwin to see if there was any response at all and when he saw no movement, he took another sip of tea and went on. "You're going to have a fun time explaining to them how liquor could make you re-grow your arm."

He sat back in the chair and he crossed his legs. Tapping one booted foot against the stone floor, he glanced at Erwin again. "Still nothing to say? I think you're playing possum."

He looked at his teacup and the wicked impulse to pour the hot beverage on Erwin's crotch just to see came over him. Not even Levi was that mean though. For all his harsh words he wasn't as heartless as he came off—especially when it came to his commander. Levi sighed and he got up to walk around to the other side of the bed. He sat down on it, had another sip of tea and finally tried a different approach.

"Erwin, please wake up. I don't want to do this on my own."

He flushed even as he uttered the admittance. Nobody else was around though. If it gave Erwin more incentive to hear him say he needed him, then Levi could swallow his pride and do it. When no response was forthcoming, he set his tea on the nightstand and he bent over to plant a soft kiss on Erwin's parted lips.

"I need to know you're still Erwin," Levi whispered. He kissed him again. "Whatever happens...I'll always be your Levi."

He was blushing furiously at his own sappy words, but it was the truth after all. Erwin liked sappy shit like this too. Maybe if he heard it enough it might snap him out of it. Levi took a deep breath and he braced himself for the words he never thought he'd say to anyone. It made him so uncomfortable that it didn't exactly come out romantic, but it still had that word in it.

"I love you, idiot."

Levi sighed when he still got no response.

 _~All that for nothing. If this keeps up I might just try a blowjob next.~_

Levi shook his head and combed his fingers through his hair. He couldn't keep doing this to himself. Right now he was the only one with high rank credentials to oversee things until Hange or Erwin woke up, and there was no guarantee that the latter would be fit to do his job. The captain got up, finished his tea and walked out to start his rounds.

"Don't worry about it," he said over his shoulder to Erwin. "I'll handle it for now."

* * *

After Levi departed, a hand twitched on the bed. Blue eyes slowly opened, the pupils expanding and contracting as their owner tried to focus on his surroundings. A groan surfaced on his lips and he pulled his trembling new arm out from under the covers. Lifting it slightly, he stared at the limb and he flexed the fingers gingerly. Not all of the skin had grown back and it was quite painful to move the hand this way with the exposed muscle and nerves.

 _~I...lost this arm. How though? I can't remember.~_

He struggled into a sitting position and he gasped at the soreness in his back and ribs. Unaware that it was caused my muscle convulsions that first began after taking the formula that altered him, Erwin Smith stumbled out of bed and he fell to his hands and knees on the floor. Another pained groan escaped him.

The door to his room banged open and he lifted his head and looked up to see a slight young man standing there. His hair was black and styled in an undercut, and his eyes were gray and rather arresting in their intensity. Currently those eyes were opened wide but the lids drooped as the man got over whatever surprise he was facing and came to Erwin's side.

 _~Who is he? I know him. He feels very familiar but...I can't place a name.~_

Evidently the young man had no trouble remembering who _he_ was. "Erwin," he breathed in a low murmur that had the blond instantly intrigued. "It's a good thing I was just outside the door."

The young man put an arm around Erwin and he helped him to his feet. He was even smaller than Erwin thought; he only came up to the commander's shoulders. Still, his light frame was stronger than it appeared. He had little trouble helping Erwin onto the bed. Those interesting gray eyes looked him over with subtle worry in them, and then they settled on his pained hand. He had slightly pouty lips and Erwin's gaze kept going to them.

"Almost finished," observed the brunet. "Does that hurt?"

Erwin stared at him in confusion, struggling to remember who he was and how he knew him. The young man's expression hardened a little with irritation. "Have you lost what's left of your mind? Say something."

Erwin glanced down at his hand again. "Yes, it hurts."

"Then sit here and don't move."

The smaller man got up and went to retrieve something, and then he came back with a packet, broke it open and stabbed a small, sharp object into Erwin's leg. It made him jump with surprise and he rubbed the spot with his good hand. The young man looked at him expectantly and Erwin just stared at him.

"Well? What do you remember? Do you know who you are?"

Erwin nodded. "Erwin Smith, commander of the Survey Corps."

The other man nodded. He hesitated for a moment. "And who am I?"

Erwin tried very hard to remember. He could see this man in his mind's eye, soaring through the air on the wires of a set of 3D gear. He was fast...very fast...not only with his maneuvers but with his attacks. Erwin could picture it all easily and he knew that they'd known one another for a while, but he couldn't recall how.

And then he got another recollection and his eyes widened. He remembered this man being swallowed up by a titan before his very eyes. He blurted the first thought that came to his head, convinced he was speaking with a ghost.

"You're dead."

The sleepy looking eyes widened again with shock. The young man stood up slowly, staring at him. He seemed speechless. His brows furrowed and for a brief moment, an expression of raw pain passed over his face. Then the mask dropped down again and his youthful features became expressionless. He turned and walked out of the room abruptly.

"Wait," Erwin called out, reaching for him. He tried to follow and he fell as soon as his feet hit the floor.

* * *

Hange was just waking up when Captain Levi barged into her room. She blinked at the dead look in his eyes. "Levi, what is it? Is Erwin all right?"

"His memory is fried," answered the captain in a flat voice. "Fix it, if you can."

He turned around and left then, in no mood to give further explanation. He came across Sasha in the corridor and he interrupted her before she could call out whatever she was about to say to him.

"Not now."

He didn't communicate with anyone else. He avoided them as he went out into the courtyard and without a word, he fired his grapplers and swung himself up to the ramparts. He crouched down there alone, staring off into the distance. Erwin had called him "dead". He didn't even seem to recall his name. It was finally too much for him and he wiped his eyes when he felt moisture gather there.

* * *

"Okay, let's go over this again," persisted Hange after having a sip of her coffee. She'd already examined Erwin and physically he seemed fine, but he was very disoriented. While he seemed to remember most if not all of the faces of his squad, associates and friends, he was having trouble recalling names and there were holes in his memory. "What is the very last thing that you remember, sir?"

"That man with the dark hair looking at me like I was insane and walking out on me."

"No, no," she said hastily with a wave of her hand. She sighed and adjusted her glasses. "I mean _before_ that. The last memory you can recall before waking up in here."

He looked down at the floor in thought. "I'm not even sure it was a real memory and not a dream. I could swear the last thing I heard was someone telling me they love me. That's probably just my imagination."

Hange's brows went up and her mouth formed an "O" of surprise. "Oh, the poor baby. No _wonder_ he was so upset!"

"Who?" Erwin bore the expression of one hopelessly confused.

"Shh, I'm thinking." She tapped her coffee mug and she pondered the possibility of the Captain actually saying such a thing. It seemed unlikely even if it was true, but he'd been through a lot lately and the fear of losing Erwin might have just prompted him to 'fess up.

"All right, moving on," she sighed. Whether Levi had confessed love for the commander or not didn't really help with the memory issue. "What about before that? Try casting your mind back. You've said you remember me."

"In flashes," agreed Erwin. "It's all jumbled. Then there's this—" He held up his newly healed arm and he stared at it in awe. "When I woke up, this hand looked like someone had peeled half of the skin off of it but now..."

She leaned forward to have another look and sure enough, both his hand and the arm it was attached to were whole and undamaged. "Hmm, that could mean the regeneration process is starting to accelerate."

"I don't follow."

Hange checked the clock. This was going to be a long talk—not that she minded talking about scientific matters for hours on end. "All right, I'm going to try to explain some things to you. Maybe some of them will jolt your memory."

"Just a moment," he stalled. "The man that was in here earlier...is he real?"

She chuckled. "Of _course_ he is. He just came storming into my room telling me your memory was fried."

A faint smile curved Erwin's lips as if that news pleased him. "What is his name?"

"That would be Captain Levi. He's your second in command."

"Levi," repeated the commander, tasting the name. "Levi."

Hange leaned forward again in the chair. "Does the name seem familiar to you?"

Erwin nodded. "It does, but I can't recall when or where we met."

"Okay, I can cover some of that," offered Hange. "I should get us some water to drink first though. Are you in any pain?"

"That man...er...Levi gave me something to take the edge off. Right now all I am is confused. I want to know what happened to me."

"All right then. I'll be right back with a pitcher of water for us and then we'll see if we can jog your memory a little."

* * *

After a very long talk with Erwin, Hange brought him some food and she snuck some sedative into it so that he wouldn't go wandering around the fort freaking people out with his new arm. It would also be a bad idea for him to go outside while it was still daylight. So far he wasn't showing any signs of transforming but knowing that many titans got their energy from sunlight, it was better not to take the risk. Once she'd taken care of that, she had a snack and recharged on some coffee.

Then she went searching for Levi. She asked around and the few people that had seen him since that morning said he went up on the ramparts. "Surely he's not still up there," mused Hange, even as she went to check. Sure enough, she found him on the southern rampart, just sitting there in his cloak. Taking a deep breath she approached him. "Captain?"

"Not now," he muttered, staring off into the sunset.

"I'm going to have to insist on now," she maintained stubbornly. "I have news for you about Erwin."

He turned his head and he looked up at her, and the dark circles under his eyes made Hange think maybe she should dose him too. She sighed and she sat down to join him. "He seems to be in good health," she began. "His body temperature is running a little high but that could be due to the fever he had last night. I'll have to do more extensive testing later but for now, I think he's had as much information crammed into him as he can take."

"I see." Levi looked at the sunset again. "So what _does_ he remember?"

"Mostly fragments right now, but don't worry! He started to remember more bits and pieces while we talked. He didn't remember how he lost his arm but he _did_ remember taking the injection. He just couldn't recall exactly why. He recognizes faces but most of the names he can't remember. He's disoriented, Levi. Give him some time. Oh, and I found out why he thought you were a ghost. He remembers you getting swallowed by the titan but he doesn't remember getting you out of it. He also seems to have snatches of memories from back when he first recruited you."

The slump in Levi's shoulders lessened somewhat. "Then that's why he told me I was dead."

She nodded. "Mm-hmm. He was asking about you a lot too." Hange smiled mischievously at him. "I think you've made the biggest impression on him. Oh, and he _did_ also say that the last thing he remembers before he woke up today was someone telling him they loved him. Now, who could that be?"

He flushed and he shot her a killing look that convinced her not to keep teasing him. "So anyhow, I really think with time he'll come back to himself—just like you did."

Levi nodded. "We'll see."

Hange sighed. "Have you eaten?"

Levi just shrugged. Boy, he was down. The last time she saw him this morose was after the squad had to dump the bodies of their dead to escape a pack of titans that were chasing them home.

"He's not dead," she soothed, "and neither are you."

She dared to reach out and pat him on the shoulder before getting back to her feet. "Try to eat something and get some sleep, Captain. You can talk to Erwin tomorrow and see his improvement for yourself."

Levi glanced up at her. "We still have to discuss how we're going to inform everyone of this."

"I know, and we can't leave him locked up in his chambers all the time. People are asking questions and hangovers don't last for days. Maybe you can talk to him about it tomorrow. The two of you are good at planning things together."

Levi snorted. "Not as good as you...going behind my back."

She bit her lip. "Sorry for that, Levi. I was following orders."

* * *

The next morning, Levi went into Erwin's bedroom after having his bath and eating a meager breakfast. The door was locked, but he had a key to it now and as soon as he opened the door he saw the blurred form of his commander leap into the bed and yank the covers up to his chin. It was unexpected and amusing enough to make him smirk, even though he was still angry and upset with the situation.

"Feeling modest?" He honestly didn't get a chance to see how much Erwin was wearing but by the way he reacted to having his door opened, he thought he could assume he'd been dressing.

Erwin lowered the covers down to a more sensible level as Levi shut the door. "Actually I thought I'd locked that door and I didn't want any of my squad seeing my right arm." He pulled said arm out from under the covers, and he gazed at Levi with a look of concentration, as if still trying to recall everything about him.

"It was locked," answered Levi. "I have a key to your chambers and you have a key to mine. I suppose I should have knocked first."

His eyes went to the arm automatically and he stepped closer. He started to go to the window to open the curtain, but Erwin gave him a quick reminder.

"Don't," ordered the commander. "Sunlight isn't the best idea for me right now. Keep them drawn...Levi."

Levi swore at himself for failing to think of that. He turned to look at Erwin again, but he didn't approach the bed. "At least you know my name now."

Erwin nodded. "Hange explained quite a lot to me last night. I wanted to ask for you, but it seems I was more tired than I thought. I fell asleep shortly after eating."

Levi regarded him warily, hardly daring to hope. "Have you remembered something more?"

The commander's thick brows furrowed and he sighed. "I have a vague memory of you wearing...an apron? And a white scarf on your head and around your mouth. I have no idea why."

"Hmph...that's my cleaning outfit—amongst other things."

"I see." Erwin tilted his head. "You really hate dirt and grime, don't you?"

Levi didn't bother denying it and his heart picked up a beat with the confirmation that Erwin was recalling more about him. "You could say that."

"Yet you fight titans—and according to Hange your kill record is phenomenal."

"I hardly count my kills these days," answered Levi, "and dirt and grime in the field is to be expected. It doesn't belong in my home, though."

"Hmm." Erwin took this information in. "You don't smile much either, do you? If at all."

"Facial expressions can give away your next move to an enemy. It's better not to give them that advantage." Levi shrugged.

"So you have a poker face, then. Except for yesterday."

"You mean when you called me dead after I asked if you knew my name?" Levi crossed his arms over his chest.

"I was confused," explained Erwin. "I know the memories are in here somewhere." He pointed at his temple. "I just need to access them again."

He looked up at Levi again and his eyes softened. "I'm just trying to keep you talking. I know you. I know your voice, I know your eyes. I'm trying to get it back, Levi."

Levi turned to face him again. "Good, because we need you with all of your memories."

Erwin held his gaze. "And you? I remember hearing your voice speak to me when I was waking. Do you love me?"

Levi's face heated and he wished he'd never uttered those words. He stared back at Erwin, unable to tear his eyes off him. The "poker face" as Erwin called it was starting to crumble.

Erwin patted the bed. "Come here, Levi."

He nearly did it. Levi was so used to following his orders and the attraction between them was still very real. He even took a step towards him, but then he recalled his anger with him for doing this and he shook his head. "No. This may be the only time since you caught me that I disobey an order from you, but I just remembered something too: I vowed to kick your ass for pulling this shit as soon as you get your strength back."

Erwin lowered his gaze. "It wasn't an order...it was a request."

Levi swallowed, almost giving in again, but then he hardened his resolve and he scowled. "Don't fuck with me. With you it's never a request."

He turned on his heel and decided to go before the bastard could manipulate him further. He paused at the doorway and he partly turned his head to speak over his shoulder to him, not trusting himself to look at him again. "You should figure out what you want to say to the squad about what you did to yourself. You're good at selling bullshit so I'm sure it'll be fine. You should do it by tonight. You can pick the day and time to meet me in the rec room for your ass-kicking. This is between us and I don't want an audience."

He left before Erwin got the chance to respond, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"Does anyone know what this meeting is about?" Whispered Sasha to her companions later that day after dinner. "I didn't see anything recent on the mission board."

"Maybe it's an emergency situation again," Armin whispered back. He shuddered, recalling how a lot of such mission types ended up.

"I heard the commander is going to be at this one," said one of the new recruits known for gossip.

"I heard he came down with something," muttered another one.

"Shh, quiet," hissed Mikasa with an annoyed look at the chattering recruits upon seeing the Captain Levi was coming into the room.

His scanning look around the room quieted everyone down faster than Mikasa's warning. "Are you all finished speculating now?"

Not so much as a peep came from the gathered militia.

"Good."

Levi took his place and he looked to the doorway. Everyone else looked as well and sure enough, Commander Erwin came walking in. He was dressed in his officer's uniform—which wasn't unusual. What _was_ unusual was the way the right sleeve of it was filled out and proportional to the left one.

People stared in confusion and Eren muttered: "Did he...stuff it with something?"

Then the commander lifted both arms to rest them on the podium and everyone except Levi and Hange gasped in disbelief. Erwin regarded the audience solemnly and he started to speak, but Sasha shrieked out in excitement before he could get a word out.

"S-sir! Your arm!" She stood up and pointed as if he wasn't aware it was there.

"Is it a prosthetic?" Armin asked. "I've read about those!" He'd raised his hand politely but he forgot to wait for a nod before speaking, in his excitement.

"Everyone shut up," commanded Levi.

The noise died down but Sasha was still standing there pointing like a goober. Connie quickly grabbed her jacket to pull her back down before the captain decided to roast her like her beloved potatoes.

Erwin waited for a moment before addressing them. He held up his right hand and he wiggled the fingers, then clenched them into a loose fist. "As you can see, this is flesh and blood. This is my own limb. Hange Zoe was able to procure a vial of the titan formula. We need answers and we need more options, so I volunteered myself for injection of the formula. This was done while Captain Levi's team was away on their mission, and it's why I haven't been seen for two days. The formula activated titan cells inside of me and that is why I was able to regenerate my arm."

"However," Erwin continued, "It remains to be seen whether the formula reacted well enough to enable me to transform as Eren does. This is experimental. What it _could_ mean for humanity is the ability for any soldiers that wish to volunteer to transform into titans themselves and better defend these walls and settlements. I wouldn't ask this of anyone. It would be on a strictly volunteer basis. Yes, Hange?"

The scientist soldier stood up. "It could also lead to a way for us to change existing titans back into the humans they once were. The formula would have to be altered further than what I did for Erwen's, but it's a possibility."

Connie raised his hand and Erwin nodded to him. "How...would we deliver the cure to titans that were humans before, sir?"

Beside him, Jean patted his shoulder consolingly.

"I don't know, son. That's a subject we can't look into in depth until we've confirmed that the formula I took is a guarantee. We'll probably need to recruit more scientists to work with Hange on the matter, if we want expedience. For now, the plan is to test whether I've actually gained titan abilities beyond regeneration. I'll take Captain Levi and Hange with me on a mission tomorrow at dawn, out into the wilderness away from the fort. We'll test it out there and if successful, we can move on to the next stage. Now, are there any questions?"

Every hand in the room went up.

"You just had to ask that, didn't you?" Levi sighed.

* * *

-To be continued


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: This is the censored version of this chapter, with all graphic sexual scenes cut out. If you want to read the uncensored version, please visit my profile at Archive of our Own. I go by the same username there as I do here. Thank you kindly for the reviews thus far!_

* * *

Answering all of their questions was a trial for Erwin, because for one he still hadn't gotten down the names of everyone and for another, he had limited past recollection to assist him. As Levi observed though: Erwin was good with bullshitting. The corporal resisted a sigh as the troops filed out and he glanced over at Levi. The captain was so angry with him, and it was starting to frustrate and anger him, too. He compressed his lips and made his decision. If what Levi needed was a fight then he'd give it to him. He was waiting for everyone to go so that he could approach Levi, but then a teen boy with bright green eyes and brown hair approached him uncertainly.

"Yes, er..." Erwin tried to recall the boy's name. Once again, he knew his face but the name was eluding him. "Son?"

He heard Levi snort and he clenched his jaw. As drawn to him as he was he was losing patience with his constant nastiness toward him.

"Commander, I was just wondering if I could help in any way. I know you're only taking a select group with you but since I have titan powers too, maybe I could write up some notes for you? Things you could try, I mean."

 _~Oh, this must be Eren Jaeger then. Hange explained his abilities to me, but she didn't get the chance to point out which one he was.~_

And then another flash of memory came to him. Levi coming to him in his office, informing him that for some reason he thought it would be a good idea to kiss this boy. Erwin nearly shook his head, thinking his memory had to be playing tricks on him. He concentrated on that one. Something about Eren having a crush on Levi, and Levi trying to prove to him that it wasn't real?

He somehow kept his expression neutral, realizing the boy was still waiting for his answer. "Thank you Eren, but Hange already has notes of how you've transformed in the past."

"Oh, right. Well...good luck, sir. I almost hope you aren't really a titan like me, but I'm glad you got your arm back." Eren saluted him and took his leave.

Erwin watched him go for a moment and then he looked at Levi. The attractive yet volatile man was standing quietly, his face an unreadable mask. Erwin approached him and he spoke in a low voice. "Captain, come with me to the rec room. I want this out of the way before tomorrow."

Levi nodded. "Yes sir."

* * *

"So this anger you have towards me," Erwin said as he pulled his jacket and bolo tie off, "Is it purely because I took the titan formula, or is there something more to it that I simply can't remember yet?"

Levi also removed his uniform jacket. He gave Erwin a level, cold stare. "We aren't here to talk, _sir_."

Erwin felt another moment of hopeless frustration. Had he really only imagined hearing this man say that he loved him? "All right, then."

The moved to the middle of the room, where there was plenty of space. Erwin got into a fighting stance that was more instinctive than by memory. Levi stood calmly. He hadn't even changed his stance yet.

"Are you sure you're up for this so soon?" Questioned Levi softly. "You couldn't even stand up on your own yesterday."

"I recovered fast," Erwin replied. "I can handle it."

"If you say so. Let's begin then, shall we?"

And then just like that, Levi was upon him. He went from a casually standing pose to a roll and he was up on his feet in front of Erwin before the commander knew it. A knee drove into his solar plexus, an elbow slammed into his cheek and a fist hit him in the eye. Erwin tried to block but he was taken off guard by the speed of the attack and he ended up with blows raining on him from various limbs and body parts.

 _~Damn it, he's fast!~_

But he should have known that. He _did_ recall a couple of memories of seeing Levi in action. He was knocked to his back before he could retaliate and he struck out with both feet as Levi moved in for another hit. He struck the smaller man in the ribs and sent him flying backwards across the room into the wall. It looked for a moment like Levi was going to crash into a piece of exercise equipment, but the captain again demonstrated cat-like nimbleness and he landed on his feet. Blood trickled from Levi's nose and Erwin's left eye was swelling.

Without saying anything, Levi came in for the attack again, leaping through the air and spinning. This time Erwin dove to the side and he kicked out again, scoring another hit on his opponent. He heard a brief yell of rage from Levi and he felt a boot slam into his head. He went down, but he rolled to the side before Levi could stomp on him again and he jumped to his feet. Levi charged him with a flying kick, and Erwin moved enough to grab his ankle and throw him. There was another crash. This time Levi didn't avoid colliding with something and a practice dummy cracked and broke under the impact.

The captain shook it off and got to his feet quickly. He started to run at Erwin with a cold look in his eyes, and the commander prepared to block or retaliate—only to have Levi leap and spin in a summersault over his head. He didn't get the chance to turn around before he got kicked into a weight bench. He hit his head on the bar and he winced.

As he tried to regain his feet and saw Levi coming at him again, Erwin got a suddenly overwhelming rush of memories—all featuring Levi.

* * *

Outside the rec room, Hange winced at the sounds of destruction going on inside. She'd been instructed to guard the door and keep people out while the captain and commander "settled something".

"This is becoming a regular duty for me," she observed aloud. She saw a couple of familiar figures hurrying down the hall toward the rec room and she held her hands out and shook her head, bringing Eren and Mikasa to a halt.

"Off limits, kids."

Both of their eyes were wide as they stared toward the door. "What's going on in there?" Mikasa demanded.

"Oh, just a lover's spat," answered Hange carelessly. "Nothing to worry about."

Eren cringed when the wall vibrated with the force of something heavy landing against it. "It...it sounds like a pair of titans in there!"

"Nope. Just the commander and the captain."

Both of them looked briefly dumbfounded, and then Mikasa's eyes took on their usual calm expression. "I see," she said.

Eren carried a less serene expression on his face. "So they're...fighting and they're...lovers? Are you _sure_ the commander didn't shift in there?"

"I'm sure. Now run along, you two. We'll have a mess to clean up tomorrow but this is probably what they both need right now."

They looked at each other, and Mikasa took Eren's hand to urge him away. "Come on, Eren. It isn't our business."

Hange waved at them as they left, and then it occurred to her that she probably said too much to them. She forgot about it a moment later when she heard Erwin yell and Levi grunt. "Try not to damage each other too much, boys," she sighed.

* * *

Erwin was trying to reason with Levi now, but the captain was having none of it. He used evasive tactics and he did his best to avoid striking him in the face. His injuries were already starting to close up, but Levi didn't have that advantage.

"Levi, listen to me," he yelled, and then he lost his breath as he got kicked again. He growled and he saw no other choice. Levi was just close enough to the wall. Erwin ran at him at top speed and he crashed into him—taking another elbow to the face in the process. He slammed the smaller man up against the wall and he pressed one arm against his throat, lifting him up. With his free hand he caught hold of one of the captain's wrists.

Snarling, Levi pressed his only free hand against Erwin's broad shoulder and he kicked out, trying to get leverage. Erwin pressed harder against his throat and he stared into his eyes. "Stop."

It brought the memory of when they first met face-to-face to the forefront of his mind. That time was so similar to right now, at least in how they were positioned. It must have reminded Levi of it too, because his struggles calmed down somewhat and some of the rage faded from his eyes. Both of them were panting heavily, and Erwin took the brief respite to try again to reason with him.

"I explained to you why I took the titan serum," he said, reiterating it with a firm shake. "Talk to me. I had my reasons for not telling you."

"You forgot me," rasped Levi when Erwin backed off just enough to relieve some of the pressure on his throat. Then he saw that same pained expression break through Levi's mask as before. "You convinced me to give you something I've never given anyone else, and then once you had that, you gave it up. I resent that, and I don't really care if it sounds childish."

"I could never forget you," Erwin assured him, softening his tone to a more calming one. "If that were possible, I'd have given you up for dead when you were in that titan's belly. I wouldn't have recognized your face when I woke up, even if I couldn't recall your name. It's all coming back to me now...maybe because you knocked those memories loose with all those kicks."

Levi's expression calmed. "Do you remember telling me that you weren't ready for me to die that day, when I got swallowed?"

"Every bit of it," answered the commander without hesitation.

"Then you should remember what you said to me right before you kissed me later."

Erwin nodded. "I told you I thought you were gone."

Levi swallowed. "That's exactly how I felt when I came back to find you comatose, you idiot. Then I felt that way again when you woke up and couldn't remember anything except your name."

Erwin realized then that Levi was sounding more like the captain he'd been before his traumatic incident than he had since it happened. Counting on that more logical nature, Erwin released him and set him down, shaking his head. "I didn't go anywhere, and neither did you. Although, it did feel like you forgot me for a moment when you had your encounter with Jaeger."

Levi wiped his bloody nose and he shook his head. "Absolutely not. I accept responsibility for that mistake, however."

Erwin smiled a little. "Can we just agree that we've both made mistakes and make a pact here and now to make a conscious effort not to repeat them? From now on, we share our plans with each other and we don't stray—not from who we are and not from each other."

Levi lowered his gaze. "Sounds fair enough to me. So, are you back to yourself now?"

Erwin hesitated. "There are still holes, but everything important involving you is back. I have to believe the rest will come with time. You seem nearly back to yourself, I notice. It's a remarkable change from this morning and yesterday. I thought you were reverting back to that thug I picked up years ago. Did this change really happen in a span of hours, or have you been pushing yourself to go back to being the man I promoted to captain for my benefit? Perhaps to help jog my memories?"

Levi looked up at him and all of the rage from before seemed to be fading. Now there was a sort of nostalgic sadness to his gaze that the captain would never reveal to anyone save those he truly trusted. Unable to help himself, the commander whispered his name and he cupped his face. Levi closed his eyes in silent invitation and Erwin lowered his mouth to his for a kiss. He tasted the blood on his lips from a cut on the lower one and he traced them with his tongue. Levi put his arms around him and his head fell back to give greater access to his mouth.

It started out as a chaste enough kiss, but their adrenaline was still pumping and their emotions were still heightened. The kiss deepened and became a little sloppy. Tongues intertwining, lips smacking wetly, both men felt a shift in their passions and Erwin pressed Levi up against the wall. They hadn't had any intimate encounters since the day they officially got together and they were both feeling a sort of desperation for each other now. Erwin could feel Levi starting to tremble and he knew he should stop—or at least try to tone it down before it got out of hand.

With regret, he pulled back from those pouty, tempting lips just enough to murmur a suggestion. "Let's go to my chambers...or yours. We're both a mess and you're getting me turned on fast."

"No," protested Levi huskily. He reached up to grab handfuls of Erwin's hair. "Here. Now. We've waited long enough and I thought I'd lost you. Sorry to say there's still some of that thug left in me and you're going to be seeing more of him tonight."

Then Levi practically yanked Erwin's head back down to crush their mouth's against one another's again. The aggressive passion of it made Erwin throb with lust and he slid his hands down Levi's back to cup his bottom. Lifting him up, he slipped his hands down a little further to support the back of Levi's thighs and when they parted for him, he fit his hips between them. Levi wrapped his legs around Erwin's waist and squeezed as if to ensure he wouldn't pull away. Erwin felt another tremor go through the smaller man but he didn't stop, trusting Levi to say something if it started triggering too much anxiety. Perhaps the tremors were from passion. The way Levi's tongue curled and thrust against his certainly suggested it, and he was getting just as hard as Erwin.

"Levi," groaned the commander between kisses. They probably still had some things to work through, but this was a damned good start.

* * *

Hange hastily sat back down on the hall bench and picked up her book when she heard the two men's footsteps approaching the door from the other side. She opened up to a random page and pretended to be reading when they opened the door. Glancing up, she gave them a cheerful smile even as she keenly observed not only Levi's bruises but the hickey mark on his neck. The captain was also walking stiffly and she doubted it was from the fight they'd had earlier.

"I trust you boys worked everything out?" She adjusted her glasses and glanced at the extra towels and rumpled shirts they each carried.

"A simple sparring match," said Erwin evasively. "Everything is fine, though we did get a little carried away."

She smirked. "So I heard. Is any of the training equipment left unbroken or did you two demolish it all?"

The couple glanced at one another and Erwin answered that one as well. "We're going to need to replace one sparring dummy and possibly a weight bench. Everything else is intact."

"Ah well, good." She closed her book and stood up. "Goodnight then Commander. You too, Captain. Oh, you might want to put something on that leg. That's a bad limp you've got, Levi."

She heard him grumble: "I'm going to kill her," to Erwin, followed by the taller man's response of: "No, she's too valuable. Let it go, Levi."

Hange chuckled under her breath, and when the two of them turned the corner and went out of sight, she tapped her chin in thought. "Hmm, I wonder who would have the more violent mating habits: A pair of mountain lions, or those two? Ahahaha!"

* * *

This time they decided to stay the night in Levi's room because it was closer than Erwin's and as Levi said, his ass was too sore to walk that far. He again admonished his superior to stop looking like he'd killed him and then he ran a hot bath for the both of them. They soaked together, with Levi sitting between Erwin's thigh's and resting back against his chest.

"Do you think you'll be ready for tomorrow?" Erwin lathered up Levi's chest from behind with a soapy sponge as he asked the question.

"Yes." Levi closed his eyes and sighed, enjoying the pampering. "The water's already doing wonders for my aches. Don't worry about that."

Erwin nuzzled his ear, and he switched to the washcloth to rinse off the suds. "I just want to be sure you'll be in good enough condition to do what might need to be done if I—"

"Shut up about that, would you?" Levi cracked his eyes open and he turned his head to frown at the bigger man. "If you do the transformation and lose it, I'll cut you out of there just like I've done with Eren before. Don't ask me to kill you. That's another order I won't take."

Erwin didn't push the issue. He knew that if it really did have to come down to his death, he could count on Levi to take care of it—no matter how vehemently he insisted he wouldn't go that far. "All right, we won't talk about that. Just relax and let me finish bathing you."

Levi breathed a sigh and did as he suggested, closing his eyes again and leaning back against him. Erwin took his time with it; not only because he knew Levi was very thorough when it came to these things, but because the longer the soak in the heated water, the better it would be for him.

* * *

After bathing they lay down nude together in Levi's bed, and Erwin kissed every bruise, scrape and mark he'd made on the captain's fair skin. He ran his hands over the toned, slim body and he smirked when Levi whispered a breathy protest.

"You run the risk of getting me hard again," warned Levi, and my ass is too sore for another round."

"Did I say anything about having sex again?" Erwin nibbled his ear and he slid his hand down under the sheets to fondle the smaller man, making his breath catch. "I only want to touch you for a while before we go to sleep."

"That touching is going to cause trouble," warned Levi, looking up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. Those eyes fluttered shut with pleasure as Erwin's persistent stroking made him harden as predicted. "Erwin, haven't you had enough?"

"Never," confessed the commander. He kissed Levi's soft, pouty lips and he kept rubbing him up and down, listening to his quickening breath and making him squirm restlessly. "I love touching you, Levi."

"S-so I've noticed," husked the captain. "Erwin, cut it out. We've...hahh...we've got to get to sleep."

"We will," promised Erwin. "As soon as I've satisfied you."

"Idiot," sighed Levi.

* * *

-To be continued


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's note: Many thanks for the reviews so far!_

* * *

"Okay now remember Erwin, it more than likely takes a conscious goal in mind for you to make the transformation," Hange reminded the commander.

At dawn, Erwin left with Levi and Hange, and they also decided to bring Moblit to assist with the special target capture weapons they were carting with them, just in case. They'd ridden a safe distance away from the fort and chosen an open area for Erwin to try his first titan transformation. At first the plan was to try and contain it within the fort but Erwin decided that was not the best idea with Eren there. He didn't know what drove the other shifters to go after Jaeger yet, and he didn't want to take the chance that he might do the same—hence why Levi and Hange were there to deal with him.

Erwin took a deep breath and he looked at the trap deployment barrels. "Just make sure those are operational to restrain me if I turn hostile."

She nodded. "I've already tested them and they're good to go. Moblit, you should man the one on the other side, dear."

Moblit walked over to it as directed, looking faintly nervous as usual when he did anything to assist Hange. Meanwhile Levi stood between them, watching Erwin as the commander took his place between the two evenly spaced devices. They'd spaced them far enough apart to allow room for up to a fifteen meter class titan. Erwin kept his eyes on Levi in return, drawing strength from his silent presence.

"It's going to be fine," soothed Hange. "You'll see! Our commander has a will of steel. He'll control this beautiful thing he's about to create, I'm sure of it."

"We can hope," murmured Levi. He took a slow breath and he nodded at Erwin, putting his hands on the handles of his 3D gear.

Erwin nodded back and he closed his eyes and concentrated, trusting in his companions to keep it under control if he failed to do so himself.

 _~Let's see; Eren Jaeger typically draws blood by biting himself to make the transformation happen. It seems crude, but I should start with his example.~_

Erwin hesitated for a moment as he brought his left hand to his lips—not because he had an aversion to a little pain, but because he wondered if last night might end up being the last time he held Levi in his arms. He looked at the captain again, whose eyes had never left him. Levi gave him another encouraging nod, his eyes silently promising him that he would do whatever was necessary to get him out of there if the titan form proved uncontrollable.

"Here goes," sighed Erwin. He sunk his teeth into the meaty part of the top of his hand until it drew blood and he winced. How Eren managed to do this all the time was a mystery to him. He waited for something...a tingle, a cramp...anything that might indicate that a change was coming on.

There was nothing—nothing save the sting in his hand. He frowned at the bite mark. "I don't understand."

"Did you have a goal in mind?" Pressed Hange.

Erwin nodded. "To become a titan."

She laughed. "Oh, Erwin, that's such a simple, straightforward goal. No, you need something _else_ to focus on. It's good that you're aiming to transform but you need to give yourself a reason _why_. Think of how Eren did it. First he wanted to kill the titans that had killed his friends and attacked his city. The next time, he did it to protect his friends from a cannon ball."

"Then he did it to pick up a damned spoon," added Levi. "It doesn't have to be complicated."

"I see," mused Erwin, "so I need to have the desire to become a titan for a specific reason, is that it? Simply wishing the transformation isn't enough."

Hange nodded. "That's how it appears to work, sir. Hmm, let me see..." She looked around for something to use as a focus, and she found a fallen tree branch. "Ah! This might work!" She ran over to it and she dragged it up to the commander.

"Now, fetch this stick."

Levi gave her an offended look. "He's not a dog, four-eyes."

Hange grinned and winked before running back over behind her trap deployment barrels. "Then pick it up. It amounts to the same thing, doesn't it my darlings?"

"It will suffice," Erwin said with a placating glance at his annoyed lover. "Simple enough."

He started to bite the same hand, keeping his mind on transforming _for the purpose_ of picking up that tree branch. He decided to switch to his right hand instead for the bite. Perhaps if he damaged the hand that had grown back thanks to the serum, he would get better results. He tried again, while making a reaching motion for the branch with his left hand. Levi stepped back a bit, while Hange and Moblit hunkered down and prepared to fire the traps.

Again, nothing happened. Erwin frowned in frustration and he looked at the bite marks on his hands accusingly. He was of the mind that if a kid could do it by accident, then he should surely be able to do it on purpose...unless he hadn't had enough of the serum to enable a full reaction to titan cells.

"Aww," sighed Hange in disappointment. "All right, let's try another idea, shall we?"

Levi crossed his arms over his chest and sighed.

* * *

They kept going until sundown, and Erwin's hands were covered in healing bites by the time they gave up and decided to cart the gear back home. Levi rode beside the commander quietly, and he finally spoke up once the fort came back into view.

"Maybe you aren't meant to become a full titan," suggested the captain. "Isn't it enough that your arm grew back?"

"Not enough for humanity," answered the commander solemnly. "Yes, it does enable me to go outside the wall and take an active part in our expeditions again rather than simply giving orders, but..."

"Don't lose heart, Commander," encouraged Hange. "This was your first try. It might still happen. It could take a specific circumstance to trigger it."

Erwin grimaced. Perhaps he was foolish to think he could do it through force of will alone. He'd been hoping to do it in a controlled situation, not in the heat of the moment when he could end up attacking friend and foe alike.

When they arrived back at the fort, Moblit put the trap device back in storage and they stabled the horses. Scouts were out and finishing up various daily tasks, and when Eren saw them he ran over to them and saluted. "Did everything work out?"

Erwin exchanged a glance with Levi and he shook his head. "Unfortunately no. No change occurred. It was a waste of time and effort."

"Oh." The boy lowered his gaze, then raised it again and looked up at the commander solemnly. "Well if I may speak freely sir, I think it may be for the best. You're already a huge asset to the cause, sir. With your arm back, you're back at full strength."

Erwin smiled slightly at the boy's attempt to cheer him. "Yes, I suppose that's something. Excuse me, I think I'll have dinner and work on the plans for our next expedition beyond the walls."

Eren saluted again and he watched them go. The boy sighed once they were in the keep and out of sight. While he didn't wish the commander to have the burden of being a battle titan, it would have been nice to not be the only one on their side. He felt so alone in that...but it was selfish to wish such a thing on the man just so Eren wouldn't have to feel like such a singular freak.

* * *

Two days later The political situation in Mitras had settled enough for the Survey corps members to return to regular duty. The rest of the squad were recalled back to headquarters to make mission plans for the next supply outpost expedition, and they brought with them six new recruits—two of which had the education and credentials to assist Hange with scientific research. This one would take them into the territories just beyond the wall to establish an outpost further out, closer to uncharted territories. It would be one of the most dangerous expeditions since they went after the female titan, and they had several greenhorns attending their ranks—including Hitch Dreyse and Marlo Freudenburg.

"Are you sure about those two?" Erwin inquired softly to Levi as they watched the recruits spar below in the courtyard. "I seem to recall you telling me they were shady."

"I said Dreyse was shady," corrected Levi, "but Marlo is one of those righteous idiots like you that dedicates himself to a good cause."

"Fair enough. That still leaves the shady one." Erwin pointed out the young woman with the chin-length, wavy, light brown hair and catty appearance. "From what I've heard she's got an aversion to doing hard work and her skills as a soldier are sub-par."

"Hmph, that can be worked on," Levi promised. "She shows promise with her maneuvers when using her gear, even if her blade work sucks right now. As for being shady..."

He turned sidelong and he smirked up at his companion. "I was as shady as they came, remember? Yet you hand-picked me yourself."

"I chose you for your skills above all," countered Erwin. "I was counting on you to rehabilitate the rest, and you did. This girl has nothing exceptional to add."

"Laziness doesn't equal 'shady'," insisted Levi. "I'll whip her into shape and get her to start tapping her true potential. Trust me."

Erwin nodded. "I do. If anyone can train an ordinary soldier to become a tactical killing machine, it's you."

Levi took the compliment in stride. "Those who are the weakest fighters should be assigned to supply and rear scouting duty. I imagine Dreyse will end up fitting into that category; at least on this expedition."

Erwin nodded in agreement. "And what about Lori Taylor? That girl down there sparring with Armin that you rescued?"

Levi glanced at his commander. "I haven't told you about that yet."

"I recovered the memory," answered Erwin. "I'm regaining more of them each day."

Levi nodded. "Good. As for Lori, she has great potential. She's fast on her feet and with her gear. Her strikes are accurate. If she can overcome her fear when she faces the titans, she could one day become a candidate for my special operations squad...provided she survives long enough to make the cut. So far, Mikasa and Jean are on my short list."

"Not Eren Jaeger?" Erwin was faintly surprised by that. "He's skilled and he has the additional ability of becoming a titan."

"Don't forget that special operations is designed to guard Jaeger's life," reminded Levi with a smirk, "and regardless of his growing skills, he's still too hot-headed and impulsive. I need people that can think before they react. With that said, Mikasa has a ways to go herself on that level. I'd planned to assign Jaeger to Hange's team, seeing as four-eyes knows the most about titans. I can see some resistance in the future if I try to put Mikasa on a separate team."

Erwin chuckled. "Yes, but considering the purpose of your special operations squad, I would think that might give her the incentive to accept recruitment. Simply remind her that the main objective is to protect Eren."

Levi gave him a dry look. "I should have known you'd come up with some plan to manipulate her into doing what we want. Creep."

"Whatever it takes," agreed Erwin, un-offended. He put an arm around the smaller man and he nuzzled his soft hair, taking in the scent of his shampoo. "We should go down there and observe their progress in person."

Levi nodded. "Agreed."

* * *

They observed all of the new recruits sparring for a while, and then Levi ordered everyone to prepare to mount up and follow him and Erwin into the forest training area to practice with their 3D gear. He frowned when he saw Hitch yawn and he walked over to her with a dark expression on his face. Her eyes widened and she saluted him quickly. "Captain."

"Are we boring you, Dreyse?"

She paled a little and her companion Marlo smirked as if enjoying her scolding. Levi flicked his gaze to the tall dark man with the bowl cut. "Find something amusing?"

Marlo swallowed and shook his head. "No sir!"

Levi walked the lines of recruits, both new from the 105th squad and old from the 104th. "Most of you know these exercises are an aptitude test. It's not a game. These exercises are to keep you alive in the field and if you don't take them seriously, you won't survive ten minutes in titan territory. It's my job to teach you the skills to come back alive in one piece, but I can't teach you instincts. That part's up to you."

Levi walked back over to Hitch and Marlo and he looked at each of them in turn, lowering his voice. "Do you see the commander behind me?"

They both looked and they nodded. It was hard to miss Erwin since Levi was so short and the commander towered over him.

"He's ultimately the one you have to impress to stay in this squad. I recruited you because I think you could become useful, but the commander is going to be the one to judge your heart. If he thinks you aren't showing enough, you're out. Don't screw up. Don't disappoint me."

Both of them nodded. "Yes, Captain."

"We'll see," muttered Levi.

He took his horse from the stable boy that led it to him. He'd named the new stallion "Crescent" for the white crescent mark on its forehead—the only part of it that wasn't black as pitch. He and Erwin mounted up and the commander shouted out the command for the training squad to do the same.

As they led the procession out the gates of the keep, Erwin spoke in a low voice to Levi. "I think you'll make them piss their pants before the titans get a chance to."

Levi smirked subtly. "Perhaps, but then they'll piss them again when they have their first real encounter with one of those things."

"Have you considered who you want as your second in command?" Erwin questioned as they started down the road leading to the practice range in the forest.

Levi sighed. That was a subject he'd been trying to avoid since the loss of his whole elite squad. "Not Mikasa. Not yet, at least. She's still too impulsive—especially when it comes to Eren. When she learns to use her head better I'll consider her. Jean is the best choice for now."

Erwin nodded. They'd lost so many and choices were few. While Levi was his right hand man, it would be Hange that took over his place if anything should happen to Erwin. Levi's team was separate yet connected to his own. "Well, there's no help for it right now. All we can do is work with what we have and we press on."

"Agreed," murmured Levi. "Let's just get to the damned training grounds. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

He didn't see Erwin's expression of regret as he rode on ahead.

* * *

Erwin watched each performance carefully and he frowned at Hitch's more than most. The girl just didn't seem to be trying hard enough, and that was going to cost her once she got out into the field. He walked over to Levi and he bent over to speak into his ear. "She won't survive long in a real combat situation if she doesn't wake up."

Levi nodded grimly, watching as Hitch swung through the trees like it was all just a spring day on the playground. "Damn it. Stupid little bitch."

"Easy, Levi," cautioned Erwin with a pat to the smaller man's shoulder.

"No. I can't take it easy when it's my responsibility to train these assholes to stay alive." Levi walked away from the commander and he called out to Hitch. "You. Dreyse. Get your lazy ass down here."

Hitch came down from the trees and landed before the captain with a salute. "Sir!"

Levi grabbed her by the straps of her harness and started dragging her away. "The rest of you keep going," he called when other recruits paused to stare.

"C-captain, what did I do?" protested Hitch as she was dragged away from the forest's edge and out into the open.

She gasped in shock when he back-handed her, and the only thing that kept her from falling to the ground was Levi's hold on her harness. He yanked her forward until their faces were only inches apart and he spoke to her in a low, dangerous voice. "You need to wake up. This isn't a leisure activity for your amusement, brat. This is real life and unless you want to offer yourself up on a dinner plate to the titans, I suggest you step up and start putting in some effort."

Levi shoved her away abruptly and she lost her balance and fell on her rear. Tears of bewilderment pricked her eyes and she put a hand over the red spot where he'd struck her, staring up at him fearfully. Evidently having said his piece, Levi spoke to Erwin. "They're all yours. I'm going back to the fort to start cleaning."

Erwin nodded calmly and he approached the whimpering Hitch as Levi mounted up and took off. "Here...on your feet." He offered her a hand up and he held her steady by the shoulders as she sniffled and trembled.

"I d-don't want to be on his team," Hitch decided in a trembling voice. "I want to be on yours."

Erwin smirked without humor and he shook his head. "No, you don't. Your chances of survival are better on the captain's team than on mine. What he did might seem harsh to you right now, but believe it or not he was doing it for your own good."

He bent over a little to speak in a low voice for her ears alone, holding her tearful gaze with his. "I send more men to their deaths than you could even imagine. The captain's team has the highest survival rate and that's because he cares a great deal about their lives. 'Team Levi' is special operations because it's made up of soldiers that have lived long enough to learn skills and techniques that are unmatched...and that's thanks to the captain's dedication to them and vice-versa."

Hitch wiped her eyes. "But 'team Levi' all died recently, didn't they? They couldn't have been _that_ good."

"You need to understand, that was a unique circumstance," explained Erwin patiently. "We were up against an enemy unlike any we'd ever fought before and there was no time to adjust tactics against her. On a normal day they would have all returned home without so much as a scratch. The death of Levi's elite squad was a terrible tragedy and believe me when I say it haunts him to this day. Do _not_ mention it to him, if you know what's good for you."

She looked down and she hugged herself, rubbing her arms. "I'll try to improve."

"You'd better, if you want to survive. Now get back to training, Hitch. Oh, and if you want someone to blame for the death of Levi's elite squad, you need look no further than me. I'm the one that sent them to their deaths, not the captain."

* * *

Erwin found Levi outside beating a rug from the great hall. He was doing so with vigor, hinting that he was agitated. Erwin approached him and he prudently spoke out to him before touching him, wary of getting hit with the rug beater if he snuck up on him. Levi paused when the bigger man laid a hand on his shoulder and he turned to look up at him, tugging his scarf down from his mouth and nose.

"How did it go?" asked the Captain.

"Much better after you left, actually," replied Erwin truthfully. "You seem to have gotten through to Hitch and her moves improved significantly. She was also very accurate with her strikes against the practice targets. I imagine she was picturing your face when she went at them." He smirked teasingly at him.

Levi shrugged. "If that's what it's going to take to keep her alive, then that's fine. What about the others?"

"They stepped up their performance as well. I think after seeing what happened to Hitch they feared they might get some of the same."

"Hmph. Do I know how to motivate or what?"

Erwin nodded and chuckled softly. "Like no other I've met, save Instructor Shadis. Those kids are going to live longer, thanks to you. I assigned them to cleaning duty as soon as we returned."

Levi nodded. "Good. Maybe they'll do a better job with that as well, then." Levi lowered his gaze and he stared blankly at the rug beater in his hand.

Erwin gave his shoulder a squeeze, reading him the way nobody else could. "You did the right thing, Levi. She needed that wakeup call and sometimes tough love is the best path to discipline."

Levi shrugged again. "I don't enjoy hitting kids, believe it or not."

"I know you don't, but you do it because you give a damn whether they live or die." Erwin kissed him on the top of the head, where his bangs peaked out from under the scarf he was wearing over his hair. "Even if they don't know that, I do."

He patted Levi on the arm comfortingly. "I'm going to do a weapons inspection and see how many blades we need to replace. I'll see you at dinner."

Levi nodded and he resumed beating the rug. Erwin paused to watch him for a moment, listening to his grunts of effort. The captain might as well have been beating himself.

* * *

Eren and Armin both noticed the covert glares Hitch gave Captain Levi as they collected their meals and sat down to eat. It was Armin that spoke up. "Hey, don't take it so personally, Hitch. It was nothing personal to the captain today; he was just trying to motivate you."

"He's got a sick way of motivating people," she grumbled, spooning up some soup. "Sadistic asshole."

Armin bit his lip and exchanged a look with Eren. "I know it might _seem_ that way, but he didn't do it to be cruel. He kicked the crap out of Eren once when he was on trial for being a titan shifter."

She frowned at the blond teen, then at Eren. "Why? Just for shits and giggles?" Her tone suggested she could believe that.

"No, actually he was trying to save my ass," answered Eren with a rueful little smile. "I was mouthing off at the courtroom and digging myself in deeper, so he kicked the shit out of me to shut me up and prove to the court that he could keep me in line. I won't lie; it hurt like hell and I spit out a tooth, but it worked. They might have executed me instead of handing me over to the scouts if he hadn't done that. He even asked me afterwards if I resented him."

"And you said no?" Hitch raised a brow of disbelief.

Eren nodded. "That's right; because it cleared my head and I understood exactly why he did it. Mikasa, don't scowl that way. You know it was done for a good reason."

"I still say he went too far," murmured the raven-haired beauty.

"The point is, Captain Levi's come down hard on each of us at some point or another," Armin interjected before an argument could start. "Whenever he sees any of us slacking off, he's always quick to set us straight. That's because he wants us all to make it back alive after each expedition or mission. Surely you can understand that. Just the other day he called me an idiot for not paying enough attention while I was sparring. He'd gotten onto Sasha numerous times for thinking with her stomach instead of focusing on the moment. Mikasa...well, I guess he's never really gotten onto Mikasa because she never messes up."

"Not true," corrected Mikasa softly. She smiled a little, glancing at each of them. "He told me to stop acting crazy, once. The day we rescued Eren from Annie's titan form. She was holding him in her mouth and all Captain Levi asked me to do was distract her...but then I saw that her nape was open and I went for it despite his warning me not to. He...pushed me out of the way when her hand came up, and his leg got hurt because of that. I might have had my ribs crushed or worse if it weren't for him."

She sighed and glanced at the captain. "He's the one that got Eren out of there, not me. Maybe I _have_ been unreasonable about his actions at the trial."

"You see?" Eren smiled, looking from Mikasa to Hitch. "He might seem like an asshole but if he didn't care, he wouldn't bother."

Armin nodded. "Look at it this way: he likes you enough to give you a hard time."

Hitch stared at them all and then she smiled slowly, shaking her head. "Everyone here is insane. You all know that, right?"

"Well yeah," agreed Eren, "we go out hunting titans. You've _gotta_ be a little insane to do that."

"Welcome to the club, Hitch," said Armin with a smile.

Hitch chuckled and the others joined her.

* * *

"Well, it seems she's stopped glaring at you," Erwin observed with a nod at the laughing group of young soldiers.

Levi looked across the room to see Hitch laughing and socializing with Eren, Armin and Mikasa. "As long as she doesn't start getting lazy again, I—"

Lori came by their table with a shy smile. "Excuse me, Captain? I...um...here!" She placed a juicy red apple by Levi's plate. "For dessert," she blushingly explained, and then she hurried off to rejoin Sasha, Jean and Connie at their table.

"An apple for teacher," mused Erwin with a smirk as Levi stared at the offering of fruit. "How many young admirers does that make for you now, Levi? I'm beginning to suspect you're starting up a collection."

"Shut up," muttered Levi. "That was just a brown-nose gesture."

"Don't be so cynical," advised the commander. "That was a gesture of appreciation. It was cute."

Erwin leaned in closer to speak into Levi's ear. "You're blushing."

"No I'm not," denied Levi.

"You are," insisted Erwin with a smile. "I like it when you blush; though I prefer to be the one causing it."

"Shut up."

* * *

The day of the next expedition arrived and they briefed the squad on the mission plan. The purpose of this expedition was to establish a supply base outside the walls near uncharted territory. After loading up the wagons with supplies they intended to stock the new base with, the squads mounted up and started out with their tight formation, with Erwin taking up the lead. Levi was in the center and Hange took up the rear. This time they would be going west, as the last charted settlement ruins were in that direction. The goal was to find a serviceable building to stock the supplies in for use on later expeditions. So far they'd set up four bases outside the walls and each time they pressed out further, they attempted to establish more of them.

The procession stopped at the gate they'd be leaving from, having no choice but to choose a different exit than usual due to Eren sealing the other two with his titan abilities. "Listen up," Erwin called out as they waited for the gate to be raised, "Our diversionary team has already led away most of the titans in the area from the gate, but as always, there's a very good chance that we'll still encounter some before we've made it a mile out from the walls. Be especially careful when we pass through forested areas. There are plenty of places where they can hide in ambush. Trust in your fellow squad members and do not engage in any titans until directed by one of your squad leaders. Let's keep the casualties down to a minimum today and whatever you do, don't freeze whenever you see one of them. That's the fastest way to get yourself killed."

This would be their fifty-ninth expedition beyond the walls. The gate slowly rose and Hange squirmed in her saddle with excitement, always eager for the opportunity to capture a new specimen. Erwin had already promised her that if the opportunity did arise, they would attempt to bring back one of the smaller class titans for her experimentation. Beside her was Lori, and the blond girl was visibly shaking as the waited for the gate to finish raising. Hange noticed it and she reached out to pat the girl's arm.

"You survived your first trip out," reminded the squad leader. "That alone increased your chances for survival, dear. You have a better idea of what to do now, and you'll be surrounded by your allies the whole time. I promise I won't let any of those big lugs eat you."

Lori nodded convulsively. "Yes ma'am."

Levi glanced back at her, overhearing the terror in her voice. "Turn that fear into anger," he suggested. "Don't let them reduce you to an easy target, Lori."

She bit her lip and straightened up a little in her saddle. "Yes sir, Captain."

Hange smiled. Levi really had a way of inspiring people, just like Erwin. Their methods were different but they both got some fantastic results whenever they used that authoritative charisma of theirs. Half of the new recruits probably wouldn't have made it out the gates without fainting if it weren't for the two of them. She sighed, thinking of how much more inspiring Erwin would be if he could just figure out how to shift into his titan form. Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. Regardless, he was a shining beacon of hope to his troops and that was probably the most important thing.

The gate finally stopped its ascent and Erwin raised his titan killing blade, pointing it out to the horizon. "All units, advance!"

They began to ride out of the gate as the townsfolk watched. Some cheered, others were moodily silent. The Survey Corps still had not recovered all of the people's faith in them, but that was unimportant. As long as they could continue making advances for humanity and expanding their territory, they had their purpose.

* * *

Hitch was bored. So far they'd been riding for nearly a mile and she hadn't seen so much as a glimpse of a titan. She was just beginning to think everyone had exaggerated the horrors of facing the titans when a red signal flair went up, far to the left. Two more went up immediately afterwards. The spotters had a sighting. Her squad leader—whose name she couldn't recall—fired a red flare of his own. Then a green flair went up from somewhere up ahead where Erwin was riding. It streaked across the sky to the north, directing the convoy to change their route.

"Look out!" Someone shouted as they passed by a copse of trees.

Hitch looked when she heard a rending, crashing sound and her eyes went huge in her face when two seven meter class titans came stumbling out of the trees.

"Damn it," shouted the squad leader. "The spotters missed them! Evade, evade!"

Horses scattered as the scouts tried to avoid getting snatched up or stepped on by the charging titans. Hitch vaguely realized her pants felt warm and wet and it occurred to her that she'd wet herself. There was no time to be embarrassed though. So, this was why they urged everyone to go to the bathroom before leaving for the expedition.

A familiar scream caught her attention and she looked over her shoulder to see Marlo in the grasp of one of the titans. The creature looked like an oversized toddler with a huge grin, and it was hoisting Marlo to its open mouth.

To her own surprise, Hitch turned her horse around and galloped back. "Let him go," she yelled, and she employed her ODM gear and fired her grapplers into the titan's shoulder and chest. Jumping from her horse, she drew her blades and she let the wires carry her up and to the threat. She wasn't even consciously thinking of what she was doing. Her only thought was to make that thing drop her team mate—the boy she'd trained with. As annoying as Marlo could be with his piousness, she'd known him longer than anyone else in the Survey corps and she wasn't about to let him end up eaten if she could help it.

"Dreyse, get away from there," shouted her squad leader.

She didn't listen. She slashed through the titan's wrist, then swung around and sliced again to sever the hand holding Marlo. He fell to the ground and Hitch tried to maneuver herself up and behind the creature so that she could try and finish it. She saw the other titan approaching and she knew she was in trouble. Two of the other scouts on her team came to assist, distracting the second titan from her and Marlo. Shaken but uninjured, Marlo employed his gear to assist Hitch and he hamstrung the titan she was battling. The titan swatted Hitch aside and she fell and rolled on the ground. Their squad leader came charging in, yelling at the top of his lungs, and he arched through the air on his mobility gear. He took out the back of the titan's neck and Hitch and Marlo jumped away as it came crashing down.

Meanwhile the other two that had come back to assist finished off the titan with the big, bulging eyes and when the dust cleared, the squad leader looked around. "Is everyone all right?" He asked, his dark auburn, wavy hair was splattered with steaming titan blood. Garret...that was his name. Garret Shore.

"F-fine sir," coughed Marlo. "That was a close one. Hitch...I owe you. I'd be dead now if you hadn't come back."

She smiled shakenly, unable to find her breath to respond.

"All right everybody, mount back up so we can catch up with the rest of the convoy," instructed Garret. "We can't fall behind and there's been other titan sightings off that way."

Unable to do anything about her soiled pants for now, Hitch whistled to her horse and hopped up as soon as it came to her. Marlo and the others did the same, and they drove the animals hard to catch up with the rest of the convoy.

* * *

They eventually made their way to the target location after several hours of evasive travel and struggle. Levi's team lost two new recruits along the way, despite his efforts to save them. He collected their badges and they wrapped the bodies for transport in the wagon. They made their rendezvous with Erwin's team in the ruins of an old village. Erwin had already scoped out and decided on a building to use as supply storage, and his team had loaded it up with the gear and supplies they'd brought by the time Levi met up with him.

"So far scouts have reported there isn't any nearby titan activity," Erwin explained to Levi as the captain dismounted and walked with him. "We can do minor repairs to the building with Eren's assistance if he shifts into titan form. That will save a lot of time and work."

Levi glanced at the boy in question, who was off to the side speaking with Mikasa and Armin. "Are you sure he's capable of following detailed instructions? Plugging some holes in the walls isn't quite the same as fixing a roof." He looked up at the damaged roof of the building they were going to be using, a frown of doubt on his face."

"I have confidence in him," answered the commander. "He's improved. Now if only he could remember exactly what he did to command those titans that day..."

"If only," agreed Levi. "You realize that him shifting into titan form will draw the local titans to our location faster though, don't you?"

Erwin nodded. "Yes, but they're going to be drawn to our numbers regardless. We're running against the clock no matter what we do, and using his abilities to get this done faster seems the most efficient way to get it done before we get overwhelmed."

Levi nodded, unable to refute the logic. He walked over to Eren. "Good news, Jaeger. We've got a job for your titan form. Do you think you're up for the task?"

Eren saluted him sharply and with enthusiasm. "Yes sir!"

* * *

Hange's team was running behind in their arrival—mainly because they'd managed to bag a five meter class titan and they had to secure it and load it onto a long cart for transport. When they arrived with Garret Shore's team, everyone paused to stare at the restrained and netted prize she'd procured.

"What the hell is that?" snapped Levi with a disgusted gesture at the panting, dull-faced titan.

Hange dismounted with a proud smile. "My newest subject, of course! Don't look so sour, Levi. The Commander _did_ give his permission for me to capture one if I got the chance. Oh, and by the way..."

Hange dragged Lori forward with a smile and she ruffled the blond girl's blood-stained hair proudly. "Guess who brought down her very first titan?"

Levi looked at the girl, who blushed shyly. "Is that so? How did it feel, Taylor?"

"Terrifying," she confessed truthfully. A hesitant smile found its way onto her lips. "Exhilarating too, though."

Levi nodded. "You'll get more used to it and more confident as time goes on."

Lori saluted him. "Your advice really helped me, Captain. Thank you. Please excuse me; I'm going to see what I can do to help with the supply loading."

"You do that." Levi watched her go and then he turned to Hange again. "Just don't get too excited about this...specimen of yours. If we get chased on our way back, we may have to dump it."

"Oh, I don't think that will happen."

He raised a brow at her. "You don't think we'll get chased? How many of these expeditions have you been on now?"

Hange chuckled. "I meant I don't think dumping my new friend will be necessary, Captain. His body is as light as a feather, after all. He won't weigh us down."

Levi kept forgetting about that strange little fact about titan anatomy. His focus was on killing them, not studying every little detail. The only facts he cared about were the ones that made dispatching them more efficient. "All the same, be prepared."

Hange looked over to where Eren was carrying and laying crude roofing material on top of the appointed supply building and she smiled, pumping a fist in the air. "Whoo, Eren! You're the world's best carpenter!"

The shifter titan paused to glance at her and it almost looked as though his lipless mouth smiled.

"What?" Demanded Hange when Levi gave her an exasperated look. "Positive reinforcement is important, Levi. Just look at him! His cognitive responses are almost perfect now, and he doesn't come out of his titan form nearly as drained as he used to. Don't you find that the least bit exciting?"

"I'll find it more exciting when he replicates whatever he did that day when he commanded those titans to attack one of their own," answered Levi. His gaze went to Erwin, "and we still don't know for certain whether Erwin can shift or not."

Hange sobered a bit. "In time, my darling. In time."

"Don't call me that," muttered Levi.

"Well, look at it on the bright side," Hange said, changing the subject, "all of the breeches in the walls are plugged now, and we've nearly cleared out all of the remaining titans within. Soon we can rebuild and resettle the outer districts. Those are important strides, Captain."

"Yes, they are," answered Levi, agreeing with her for once.

 _~And we can thank Eren for most of that. Erwin was right about him after all.~_

"So how many did we lose so far?" Hange asked. "I lost one on the way here. Has everyone else made it?"

"All teams are accounted for," replied Levi, "save for the casualties. We've counted eight so far, and three wounded. Not bad, really."

"Better than most runs," she agreed. "Who did we lose?"

Levi gave her the list. Two were regulars and the rest were new recruits. Fortunately none of them were amongst those that Hange had grown particularly attached to. Hange gave a solemn nod and she handed the list back to Levi with a pat on his arm. His report stated that half of the bodies couldn't be recovered due to being devoured. "We'll get the rest back for proper funeral rites," she promised.

"We can hope."

Erwin came riding up on his horse. "We're getting back into formation and withdrawing now," he informed them. "Spotters have reported several titans from all directions coming this way. We've lingered for too long and we need to lure them away from the new supply outpost, or this expedition will be for nothing."

Levi and Hange nodded unquestioningly. They parted ways and they mounted up on their horses, calling out for their teams to get back into formation.

"Eren," called Erwin to the shifter, "Do you think you can keep up with the convoy in your titan form?"

Eren nodded. "Rrrr."

Hange burst into laughter when the huge titan that was Jaeger gave Erwin the customary military salute. "Oh Eren, that's wonderful!"

"Save the excitement," warned Levi. "He's not a pet dog you just taught a new trick to."

"Don't be such a sour puss," advised Hange with a shake of her finger. "I think the progress he's made is fantastic!"

"All right listen up, people," Erwin shouted, "We'll begin our trek back to the wall in a tight formation, and then spread out into long-range formation after we've distanced ourselves from this outpost. Jaeger will remain in his titan form to better assist clearing away any pursuit that gets too close. Mikasa, you will ride with Levi's team. Eren, you are with Hange's team in the rear. Spotters will attempt to intercept approaching titans closing in on the Vanguard. The rest of you remain with the teams you were originally assigned to."

"But...sir," Mikasa protested, looking back at Eren with concern.

Levi spoke up to reason with her. "He's fifteen meters tall," he reminded the girl, "and he's a loud-mouth. If Eren gets into trouble we'll know it. Trust the commander. As part of my team, your prime objective is to protect Jaeger anyway."

Erwin checked the red smoke flares to decide on a route, and once the wagons were loaded and secured, he fired a green one to the southeast. The convoy was off then, traveling in close formation for a start as the commander ordered, with Eren taking up the rear in his titan form.

* * *

"Why does he have us all grouped up so tight?" Jean gritted out as he galloped along the outside of Levi's team. "Doesn't make sense. If those bastards surround us we might as well be a buffet table."

"Actually it makes perfect sense," replied Armin beside him. "The commander's plan is to lure them away from the new outpost, so the greater concentration of prey will attract more of them faster."

"Man, I wish you wouldn't call us 'prey'." Jean had a sour look on his face.

Armin looked at him with earnest blue eyes. "To the titans, that's exactly what we are."

"You and your damned logic." Jean spotted Hitch and Marlo on the other side of Levi's team and he couldn't resist calling out, if only to ease his own fear. "Hey Hitch! I hear you pissed yourself earlier!"

"Fuck you," she shouted.

"She also saved my life," hollered Marlo, "so shut up!"

"Sensitive," Jean smirked.

"Ten meter class off to the right!"

Jean looked in the direction indicated by one of the outer riders and he saw the titan bearing down on the convoy fast. "Captain?"

"Stay in formation," ordered Levi, "I'll handle this one."

He broke away from the group and galloped over to intercept the threat, getting up into a crouching position on his saddle. Fortunately they weren't in an open area yet, so there were enough trees around to use the 3D gear. He fired into one of the tallest trees and he flipped through the air and circled around to spear the titan in the shoulder with one of his grapplers. The creature was waving its arms ridiculously as if asking the convoy to wait up for him.

"Sorry, we don't take hitchhikers," grunted Levi as he swooped in for the kill. He spun, blades flashing, and the titan went down fast with a large chunk sliced from its nape. Levi jumped off before the titan hit the ground and he called for his horse. He was soon back in formation.

"Long range formation," hollered Erwin up ahead.

The convoy split up into their wider formation and of course, there were some titans to be taken care of on all sides before they could spread out evenly. The spotters engaged them first and Sasha's team joined them on the right. To the right, squad leader Shore engaged in two more with his team. Connie was up ahead with Erwin's group and he heard Sasha scream. He looked back in fear, thinking they'd gotten her. She'd screamed because one of her team-mates got bitten in half and he felt like a dick for being relieved that it wasn't her.

"Keep moving," yelled Commander Erwin. "Only engage if necessary!"

Streams of red flare smoke were going up on all sides, getting closer. Erwin compressed his lips, seeing only one clear route to direct the convoy. He loaded a green flare and he fired it. Levi rode up ahead of his team to speak to Erwin.

"This isn't good. The noose is tightening. We might make it to the wall but we can't get in without bringing some of them in behind us."

Erwin looked around and he agreed with his captain. Yellow flares went up to the right—a signal that the outer scouting party over there was under attack. A couple went up to the left as well, and Erwin heard one of the new recruits in the back scream in fear. He glanced behind him to see two fifteen meters and a seven meter bearing down on the rear flank. Eren turned around and punted the smaller one like a rag doll, sending it crashing into one of its larger brethren and knocking them both over. That only left the other fifteen meter still on its feet. Hange engaged it with a wild scream and her team mates joined in.

"We press on," Erwin said grimly. "Get the convoy as close to the wall as we can, and we will deal with the titans from there before entering the gate."

"Understood."

Levi fell back with his team to relay the orders, and they in turn relayed them to the rear flank. Outer riders charged off to inform the rest of the convoy and support teams were sent out to assist with the spotting squads that were under attack.

Levi moved forward in the formation again to offer a piece of strategic advice to Erwin. "Once we're in sight of the walls, you should break away with a couple of soldiers and get up there."

Erwin frowned at him. "For what purpose? My place is in the field with my men."

"Your place is as the commander," countered Levi, "and that doesn't always mean fighting alongside us. The Garrison leaders respect you and listen to you. Directing the cannon fire from the walls with Pixis may be of better use than staying down here. Hange and I can take care of directing the squad."

Erwin didn't particularly enjoy that logic, but he had to admit it was sound. "Let's just concentrate on making it to the wall before we make plans for me to abandon my soldiers."

"Sir." Levi didn't argue with him. He knew that he was right and he trusted Erwin to make the most logical decision, in the end. He fell back with his team again and he ordered everyone to get their blades out, if they hadn't already.

The captain noticed black smoke shooting into the sky from the rear flanks. Wonderful...an abnormal on top of everything. They were about to be in for the ride of their lives.

* * *

-To be continued


End file.
